Should I apologise to this mum?

[Cringecringecringecringe]

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

Bloody hell...way too harsh.

I have one of each and would’ve thought you were a weirdo. Hate all this boy stuff/girl stuff nonsense. Children are individuals and each have their own personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses. Your attitude is pretty disrespectful and you risk projecting this nonsense onto your daughter who may be nothing like you imagine her to be.

I have a ds and add, it never occurred to me to prefer one over the other. My only concern was finding out they were ok. We didn't want to find out if we were having a girl or a boy with either pregnancies.
I really don't understand you at all. You sound very weird and I'd avoid you and think what a strange weirdo

Wow just wow. With an attitude like that I’d think I’d want to stay well clear of you now. You’ve not even been fortunate enough to have a healthy baby yet and you’ve decided you’ve got the superior gender and you can “relax”. How incredible rude and thoughtless. I hope you also think twice about rubbing your pregnancy in the nose of others who might themselves wish they could have children, but can’t. I’d stay well clear and rethink how thoughtless you are.

😂😂you want to say sorry to her because you think she's jealous that your having a girl and she drew the short straw by having a boy.
Mumsnetworld gets stranger by the day 😂

The more you say the worse it gets so I would stop digging!

Wow OP, I would just have thought you sounded like a right weirdo and wondered whether you were OK, whether the pregnancy was getting to you or you’d had previous losses or something.
Boys are brilliant, I have three. I’m sure girls are brilliant too. I’m absolutely certain gym mum isn’t jealous of you so don’t worry!
Chill our a bit and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and your lovely daughter when she arrives.

Why would you assume you’re rubbing her face in not having a girl? She just thought you are a strange person for going on like that not because she’s consumed with jealousy that you got a girl and she didn’t.

Every single mother with only ds I know have all admitted they would have loved a dd too.

I love my ds dearly but would have also loved a dd.

I often get asked if I’ll try for a dd. My answer is no as I’m a single parent, hopefully I get a DGD.

It’s taboo to admit on mumsnet but in the majority of cases I know, my family included, paternal grandmothers always get the short straw.

Meh, I have two boys and would have liked a girl. It's a very small thing, I'm grateful to have two healthy kids. So this wouldn't have caused major offence at all. I might have thought you were a bit weird. I think sometimes people want girls because they want a best friend and it's a bit too much pressure for the child, or they want a child who is very similar to them, and of course you have no idea how a girl will turn out.

Not me. I have one boy and that is absolutely perfect for me. I can’t imagine being a mum to a girl although I have two nieces who I think are super cool. But nope, no desire whatsoever for a girl. And my brother is far closer to my mum than I am.

Pretty sure she doesn’t think you’re smug, she thinks you’re clueless. Honestly, all this disappointment and angst about having boy children is weird and saddening. Grow TFU.

It’s a constant theme on MN. 99% of the gender disappointment threads are because the op has found out they’re having a boy not a girl. And it’s almost always because of the same old boring stereotypes such as being closer to their mums, shared interests, pretty dresses etc. It’s idiotic.

I never cared either way. A girl would've been great but so would a boy and I had a boy.

I had multiple miscarriages and my son almost died. I'm just grateful to have a child at all, to be honest. I very nearly didn't.

This is weird. Why do you think she cares? I have a boy and a girl - I find parents who desperately want a child of one sex a bit strange as I honestly didn't care. They are human beings not mini mum/dad and it only leads to disappointment when they inevitably turn out differently to what you imagined.

Congratulations though OP.

on MN , the majority of posters hate anything male.

In real life, all I heard is people saying that they'd love at least one of each, so when they had boys they would like a girl, but when they had girls, they would like a boy too. Nothing deeper than that.

Can we have one of these threads where people don’t descend to insulting girls instead of boys? The OP is always to be disappointed they’re having a boy and some posters pipe up with how awful girls are! It’s just horrible!

Can’t we just point out how wonderful boys are without tearing down girls instead? I have two girls and one boy and they’re all equally brilliant and equally hard work. My girls could not be more different either.

I'm so fed up of the "lucky to have one of each". It so boring after a while.

I wouldn't give it another thought. Some people are super excited to be having one sex, others are super excited to be having the other. Some parents honestly don't have a preference. I was super excited for my boy and thrilled when my little girl came along next. For all you know, that mom had been hoping for a boy. If she hadn't, that doesn't in any way mean you are not allowed to be excited about your girl.

Wait till she’s a preschooler lol

Nothing taboo on MN about the preference for girls. Men and boys are very actively despised, the vitriol is so strong it’s unfathomable how most of these women managed to get pregnant

I have 3 boys. I would have been very happy with a girl too,.

but not to the degree my pregnancy would be ruined by knowing I was expecting a boy. I cannot express how much I love my 3 boys, I also adore my 2 nieces and my 2 sisters

the concept of wanting either sex to the extent MN favours girls is very sad, appreciate the person you get the privilege of loving for the rest of your life

I was told at 21 I was most likely infertile due to only having one functioning ovary which had mostly been removed due to ovarian cystectomies and I wasn’t ovulating. So I’m very lucky to have fallen pregnant naturally.

I love my boys to eternity and wouldn’t change them for the world. Still, that doesn’t change the fact I would have also loved a girl.

Next time you see her take time to ask about her son and she’ll hopefully mention some positives you can praise.

Exactly this.
It is always the same, boy mums rushing to say how hard work girls are, how they never wanted a girl and how perfect their boys are, it’s like they are trying to convince themselves and the only way the can do it is to put girls down

Absolutely. We all love our children (except for some of the awful posters saying they prefer one child over the other or would hand a girl back 🤯😢). I can love my children without putting other people’s children down.