Should I apologise to this mum?

[Cringecringecringecringe]

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

Nobody cares that you’re having a girl, it honestly interests nobody, so try and reign in all that stuff regardless of whether you’re talking to a blessed fellow female spawner or not.

I hope your daughter grows up to prove at least some of your daft outdated notions wrong.

Don't say anything. You've already embarrassed yourself once by making such smug and idiotic remarks. Don't repeat the same mistake. I would imagine the woman didn't give your comments any headspace whatsoever.

This exactly!

I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it

what make you think that you are superior if you have a girl? Great you are excited, but you really need to go down that pedestal of yours, because I assure you no one, but no-one will be impressed by your little darling at all. You will just look ridiculous to be beaming over an ordinary child.

Off point but the terms 'Boy mum' 'Girl mum' make me want to puke... Total nonsense.

Jesus Christ.

I am so so fucking sick of seeing threads like this, like having a boy is something to be sad about.

And your pregnancy hormones were on overdrive, which, to be fair they probably are. Give yourself a pass this time and just think before you speak in future.

Oh dear

My male cousin & my ex both live next door to their respective mums, see them every day and go on holiday with them every year. My sister barely speaks to my mum except for on birthdays and Christmas, I’m somewhere in the middle, speak to my mum often but don’t live in her back pocket. The quality of the relationship with your adult child depends (often) on the quality of the relationship you create with them in childhood, it’s nothing to do with whether you have boys or girls. Although I suppose since you seem to have such a strong aversion to boys, it would be a self fulfilling prophecy that any son you had wouldn’t maintain an adult relationship with you. I have two boys and wouldn’t swap them for the world, they’re kind and fun and loving. I hope you have a great relationship with your daughter, and if you’re lucky enough to have a boy in future I hope you can see him for the unique and wonderful person he is and not a pre determined stereotype.

I think I'd just try to be normal going forward OP.

Those sorts of comments are ones that - if you do feel them - need to be saved for confidential disclosure to nearest and dearest, not some random person at the gym you know so poorly that you can't even be sure about their children.

If you think about it logically, she either feels it is an issue, in which case you may have upset her, or (much more likely) she doesn't, in which case she'll think you are weird for making an issue. So I can't feel there was much chance of a conversational win with that topic.

Even if she HAD had a girl, there is a chance she privately and for her own reasons might have liked a boy. I think the possibility that someone you really didn't know well was going to be another "Hooray, it's a girl and that makes all the difference" type was quite a slim likelihood.

Your own preferences are just that. Yours. I bet the mum you were bragging to adores and is proud of her son, and wouldn’t change a thing. There’s nothing to rub her face in. She probably longed for, and is glad she has, a boy.
Weird how you think everyone agrees with you that girls are better.

And your preference is daft. I have 5 DC and I don’t even think about them being male or female; they’re just… them.

Well smug is one word...

Weird. Naive. Misogynistic.

Most normal people are happy to have a healthy baby regardless of it being a boy or girl.

And girls being closer is a myth! It depends on the child. I know so many girls not close to their mums at all.

Perhaps just focus on a healthy baby rather than obsessing about it being a girl?

Me too, like you leave hospital with a whole different personality and habits to go with your new role as ‘boy mum’
im exactly the same person, loved clothes/ makeup/ shoes/sewing/ football/ DIY/ decorating/ travel in exactly the same way I did before starting my new career as ‘boy mum’

I think you’ll probably come across even worse if you apologise for ‘rubbing her nose in it!!’ 🙄

I have 3 boys.

I would have thought you were a bit of a knob if you were saying that to me.
That wouldn’t change if you apologised.

Leave it. Accept that you behaved badly.

Or Di and Ria.

You’d have kept going until you had a girl?

Fuck me. Are a huge number of posts on MN now just bloody goady/troll posts?
I’ve been here for over 20 years and I barely believe any of these kinds of posts anymore.
Has the heat got to people? Are you just pathetically bored?
I bloody despair.

I find people who are delighted and gushing about the sex of their baby a bit strange and so I probably would have had the same reaction (not saying much).

If a pregnant person I didn’t know well told me they were happy to be having a girl because girls stay closer to their families growing up, I would think they were a bit bonkers.

If you then apologised to me because I had sons, I would think you were insane. I would leave it.

Yes you probably sounded like a knob (I say that as a boy mum). None is better than the other, although I’m glad I have a boy rather than a girl. But I don’t tell people that!

Get in there youd love a boy next and harp on about how wonderful it must be to have a boy!

That's very sad that you feel that way. I know 2 people who were told they were having girls where the scan was wrong and a boy popped out. I hope that doesn't happen to you, for your child's sake.

Haha, a friend of mine was told confidently at a scan that she was having a girl! She bought dresses, painted the nursery pink... you'll never guess what happened! 😂

As a mom of both sexes I can tell you your thinking is very strange indeed! Girls are in no way superior!

This is a bit bizarre tbh 'I can now relax and enjoy my pregnancy and motherhood now I know I'm having a girl' - like you wouldn't have enjoyed it if had a boy? When you chose to have a baby, you have to be ok with having a girl or boy, you have to accept and love your child whether they are healthy or need extra support. You chose to be a mum, you don't chose your child.

It's fine to have a personal preference - I didn't care with my first, but after she was a girl I kind if hoped for a 2nd girl as I always wanted a sister, plus easier to hand stuff down. But I would have been happy with either.

And girls aren't always closer to their families. My DH is way closer to his mum than I am to mine, we see her much more, partly due to distance but also personalities.

Also, scans can be wrong. Told 2nd was a boy, only chose boy names etc. Turned out she was a girl.

Girl predictions are also less reliable than boys.

Your behavior was ridiculous. Don’t apologize just leave her alone.