Should I apologise to this mum?

[Cringecringecringecringe]

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

Well I mainly I was just saying that I feel I can just relax and enjoy pregnancy / motherhood now that I know for certain I’m
having a girl.

But I did also say about how much closer girls are with their family as adults. That’s more the big I’m worried about as when I told my husband he said that sounded smug

OP the issue isn’t what you said - which is cringey, ridiculous and smug.

The issue is your unbelievable attitude towards having a girl and thinking others feel this way.

Not everyone cares about having a girl. Most people just want healthy children. ‘Relax because you’re having a girl’. Are you for real?

I am embarrassed for your comments, attitude and thinking.

This! Just leave it. She probably just rolled her eyes and made a mental note to avoid you in future. You are behaving as though girl babies are somehow preferable to boy babies - this may well be the case for you but most people just love whatever 'flavour' they get.

Agree, also a mum of three lovely boys! (As well as a lovely girl)
I have enjoyed every minute of it! I'm
so fed up with all the negativity about boys. Not all boys are bouncing off the walls all the time! My three were always very gentle. And they are very protective and kind to me (and their partners) as grown men.
us boy mums really win when it comes to the teen years. Teen girls are far worse!

I have a DS and I’d have thought you were odd. What are you going to do if your DD turns out to be the opposite of girly and not interested in being your mini-me? Keep going until you have more DD’s that fit your girly ideal?

Wish for a healthy, happy baby and child and stop boring people with your immature obsessions of the baby’s sex.

Yes. It sounds smug and not factually correct for every daughter. Leave it now. Don't do it again (imo)

As a delighted-to-be boy mum, I would have been silently pitying you for a)not realising how lucky you are to be having a baby at all (my no 1 feeling on pregnancy after 8 years of infertility), b) not realising how amazing little boys are and c) not realising that this baby girl will be their own person & won't necessarily meet any imagined image of mother-daughter relationship that you so want.

And false. Some are, some aren’t. Same with boys.

@Cringecringecringecringe, congratulations on your on coming birth.

Having a girl is clearly paramount to you. You clearly feel sorry for mum of DS. Hence your feeling that you should apologise for your behaviour. Apologising would be layering your feelings of pity on her for being the mother of a DS. So don’t!

Will you stop now you have your girl. Or will you have another in the future and risk having a boy?

Oh dear, it gets worse. I’m equally close to both my adult son and daughter.

As a daughter myself, I hate to burst your bubble, but neither my sister nor I are close to our mum. My ex husband was very close to his mum.

It’s about how you are and how your relationship develops, not because you are male or female.

EDITED!

@Cringecringecringecringe Yes you did sound very smug, and no wonder you are cringeing! Why do you assume that boys will not be close to their parents when they grow up and leave home? IME and that of most people I know, an adult child staying in touch a lot (or not) is not gender specific.

As I (and others have said,) don't say anything to her.

.

This.

Oh dear. I'm not sure what you can really say now though.

Imagine being so pathetic your entire identity is about producing a baby with XX chromosomes
oh
and starting wind up threads on an online forum

Not in my experience!

I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

This is fucking hilarious and you sound like a knob. I was terrified of having a girl.

You are digging a bigger hole.

Children are not closer to parents because of their gender, they develop long lasting relationships because of how they are brought up.

A little tip - if you stick your child in box regardless of sex and only allow them to develop how you want them they will break that box and throw it and you away.

Trust me as a female I do not have a close relationship with my mother because I didn’t meet her standards of what she expected from a daughter.

You need to wise up OP and get your head out of your backside your ideologies are very misplaced and will cause you no end of heartache.

Ill look forward to your update in 20 years - my daughter doesn’t speak to me.

In your experience maybe. Slagging off teenage girls isn’t great either though. All teenagers have the potential to be hard work - not just girls.

But that’s beside the point. If the OP is real, then I am now CERTAIN that mumsnet has gone bat shit crazy!!

Reading what you said to the other mum I would keep a wide berth from you.

Some people may want a girl over a boy more or visa versa but you should keep it to yourself.

Giving reasons as to why a girl is better than a boy etc is horrible. That’s why I wouldn’t want to talk to you again.

I hope this thread doesn't turn into a big daughter/girl bashing thread.

Pretty much what I was saying. This thread is turning into a girl bashing thread now. Makes the posters berating girls and saying 'teen girls are horrible' and I simply DREADED having a girl' no better than the OP to be honest. As I said, there's good and bad and positives and negatives to boys AND girls!

Oh dear. Yes very cringe but you’ll only be more cringey if you try and apologise. Put it behind you and try not to focus so much on your perceived stereotypes, congratulations on your pregnancy

yeah that is a rude (not to mention ridiculous) thing to say, sorry.

But I wouldn't apologise, mainly because from the wording you've used on here you're clearly very wedded to your unfounded stereotypes thoughts so it's likely you'll put your foot in it and say something just as bad/worse while trying to make amends.

She might give you the benefit of the doubt or she might steer clear of you, assuming that you are not her sort of person. Either way apologising is unlikely to change her view of you and might make it even worse.

She's not the leader of the mums, having one person think you're a bit of a knob is not going to make or break you and your child's social life for the next decade.

Just take it as learning and don't go into so much detail to the next person you talk to about your pregnancy/parenting.

I suggest you shouldn't get pregnant if you can't relax worrying it might be a boy. All your comments are dreadful.

If she doesn't want to socialise with you it may be because of your sexist and narrow minded outdated attitudes. Although your lack of tact won't help.

By the way, my DH is far closer to his mum than I am to mine.

Edited to add - I can't believe you've come on here and posted all this nonsense like it's normal and reasonable, and the only issue is you said it to the mother of a boy. It really isn't.

You say rubbing it in her face as if she’s remotely interested or offended in you having a girl. As if you have something so much better than her and worth gloating over. She probably doesn’t care one bit.