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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to see his reaction to being called boy as a red flag?

454 replies

Poppies2222x · 10/07/2026 18:22

I’ve been seeing someone for a few months and something happened this morning that has made me question whether he’s got an ego problem that could be a cause for concern.

Me and three friends (all in our late 20s) booked a woodland lodge for three nights Thursday to Sunday for a weekend away and my boyfriend has come with us.

This morning after breakfast we were relaxing around the hot tub and my friend told BF “come on, get the drinks poured, boy” not in a rude tone but in a funny ‘let’s get this party started’ kind of way. She’s very bubbly and didn’t mean anything by it. He poured the drinks with a moody look on his face and a few minutes later however he said he really took offence and said he wasn’t a boy, he was a man, and that he found it disrespectful. The mood changed quite quickly and afterwards he was still annoyed about it.

I asked him why it bothered him so much and he said that being called a boy was belittling. I found this extremely cringy and fragile on his part and I’m wondering why he would view this as belittling? To me it seems he views boys as below him and I don’t want a partner with a fragile ego who thinks men are superior to everyone else including boys.

I was just discussing this with my friends whilst he was on a walk and they all found it off putting and embarrassing on his part.

AIBU for seeing this as a bit of a red flag, or is it reasonable for him to want to be referred to as a man rather than a boy?

OP posts:
RisingSunn · 13/07/2026 09:43

Your friend is immature and rude.

rwalker · 13/07/2026 09:56

Your friends a twat first time it can’t of been anything other than derogatory and belittling in purpose
2nd time she’s deliberately goading and provoking him

the problem with sort it self because if I were him I’d wouldn’t go anywhere with her again

SandyHappy · 13/07/2026 10:01

Poppies2222x · 12/07/2026 15:49

I’m back home now and I will not do that again. Overall it was a fun weekend but there was a few bits of jokey tension when yesterday afternoon on a walk my friend went “we’re going on this trail, boy, ooo sorry MAN” whilst laughing when he went to walk on the opposite one. Luckily he never said anything and just rolled his eyes. I personally chose to stay out of that one.

Edited

So she's just a bitch then.

She sounds jealous of your relationship and is trying to stir up trouble, you've walked right into it because instead of defending him, you've defended your sexist, immature idiot of a friend instead, single is she by any chance?

Northernparent68 · 13/07/2026 10:55

Presumably you’ve now spilt up

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