To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Hello ‘friend’ 🙄

The husband is repulsive. The friend is a repulsive narcissist. What a grim situation to be in. I wonder about their past behaviour. If it was me I’d be getting out of both relationships

@LoftyLimeFinch The whole wording of the first text suggests that this woman bitches about you to others. Be careful OP.

This with big brass knobs on ^

I'd be tempted to give her a potty and a wooden spoon, and ask her if she liked "stirring the excrement"? But then I'm not nice if people cross me 🙄

Naaah.
That's just playing at it 🙂
What you need is a chocolate mousse made with ExLax, that should do the trick😂

You are so passive about all this. It just doesn’t make sense. Why aren’t you FURIOUS with DH and doing something about it?

I think you let them all off too lightly I'm afraid

Wow, your dh is an asshole.

Gosh it’s not an episode of eastenders, dial it back it was a comment over her cooking and she apologised,

jeez some people love drama.

@Fiendishandfiery Gosh it’s not an episode of eastenders, dial it back it was a comment over her cooking and she apologised

Not at first she didn't.
She doubled-down on it and said OP bought food items from the "wrong" shops and that upset her stomach !

Then she gave half apology "did somewhat row back on her previous suggestion that my food had made her ill; ‘well if you two also didn’t get ill maybe we got it wrong’, and said she’d be ‘willing to eat here again’."

"willing to eat here again" - who the AF does she think she is, Mary Berry ?

I've never known anyone (apart from my exH who could combine an apology with another insult.)

I'd be 😡

“did somewhat row back on her previous suggestion that my food had made her ill; ‘well if you two also didn’t get ill maybe we got it wrong’, and said she’d be ‘willing to eat here again’.”

How kind of her to give you the pleasure of cooking for her. You lucky thing.

FFS!! What and entitled cow. The food was not the issue here. Whether your food was the best or worst she’s ever eaten, whether it made her ill or not, isn’t the issue. The issue is her duplicity, disloyalty, entitlement, lack of empathy, lack of accountability and the fact that I’d bet good money on her being a narcissist with that kind of sense of entitlement.

Your husband, quite frankly, is a prick. He has no respect for you, no empathy for you and is a misogynist.

If they come over again, leave. Never ever do the cooking or cleaning up.

I don’t think I could be married to him after that to be honest.

Never mind they insulted your food Op, what's the real problem is your DHs attitute. He's treated you like a child, your feelings don't count, you're to stop being silly so you don't upset his friendship, worse still your so called friend is just as bad. Your an adult, you get to deceide whose your friend

She hasn’t apologised. She may have said the word sorry but what she has actually done is minimised and deflected. She’s made excuses for her behaviour. She hasn’t taken accountability or acknowledged the hurt caused in any meaningful way.

And actually by telling the OP what a fab evening they all had, it’s doubling down on the minimisation and invalidation of her feelings. The three of them are vile IMO.

Your DH is a cunt.

The other couple I would have zero to do with again. Ever. How fucking rude they are.

willing to eat here again? Academic love, you aren't fucking invited.

I've been a silent lurker up till now but have to emerge to say, I'm sorry @Dinnertext but your 'D' H is a total shit. That is all.

(well, not quite all - the 'friend' and her DH are no better)

Well done to you.

Your husband is a grade A dick. So he didn't just not support you but knowing how upset you are this man/pathetic little child made fun of you when you came home.
Why are you with him? He has supported them to be horrid to you, participated and possibly led making fun of you. Christ the level of ick off this vile man is shocking.

willing to eat here again? Academic love, you aren't fucking invited.

The thick skinned bitch would just turn up anyway. Make her a nice beef wellington with hand foraged mushrooms. Make sure twat husband gets a nice big helping too.

Willing to eat here again????

She'll never get the chance...

So sorry for the stress you’ve been put through OP. I echo others thoughts that your DH has been an absolute twat. For him to say that they all had a great night while you were away and upset is just pathetic on his part

I don’t really see how anything has actually changed though?

DHs friend has said nothing to you.

Your friend still didn't apologise, you had to prompt her directly while standing in front of her. She apologised because you backed her into a corner and gave her no choice. That isn’t an apology. She is willing to eat at yours again? Come on.

Your DH said the takeaway was nice and they didn’t have to do that? They offered to after the wife was so rude to you that you withdrew the offer, they could hardly turn up empty handed after that could they?

And your husband who knew you were so upset about the whole thing said well we’re doing it again? Don't you get a choice?

No one seems to have asked you why you’re upset and how can we fix this?

I would honestly be so upset about this.

What are your plans for Wednesday? And either Saturday or Sunday? Please don’t be passive about this, lots of posts I see here about ‘apparently’ minor ish incidents actually turn out to be the tip of the iceberg when they start answering people’s questions.

Just a question OP. Do you have any say over who gets invited to your house or are you just expected to shut up and put up with whatever your husband wants?

I would be willing to serve them all food again, laced with laxatives.

Husband reducing you to like a little wifie who only needs a good gossip to keep her happy, while he gets on with the important task of watching a football with his beer.

Christ but what an absolute TWAT of a 'man' your DH is @Dinnertext

Fuck her and triple fuck HIM!

How dare he allow his 'friends' to disrespect you then repeatedly invite them round against your wishes?!

I literally hate him.

Thank you for providing a silver lining for if England don't get through to the final, though!

The two men are here are just dickheads. All they care about is themselves.
But this woman? How she could sit in another woman’s home when the woman herself has had to go out because of rudeness, scoffing a takeaway. I just have no words.
And when the woman appears and gets jeered at she says, oh, my period.
As for the DH, why can’t this couple host the next bloody match?
They have already caused enough trouble.
And the DH here is a prick. Honestly, I love watching the football but God help us all because some people just become insufferable. It would be great to see us get to the final and win but I can see why some people will be glad when it’s over.

They are actually completely gaslighting you and your feelings. They are a bunch of bullies.

You need to try again to express to your husband that this is a major issue, and his behaviour towards you is a problem. You’ve dealt with hers. At least you had some form of apology from her.

where’s his?

You need to be firm OP. It’s your home too and your boundaries should be respected. If not now, when?

Absolutely! People who accept this kind of thing must be must be complete doormats.