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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

344 replies

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:01

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

OP posts:
CrowMate · Yesterday 18:04

I am appalled by this. He should go to their house (and stay there). That’s your home.

I can’t get over her audacity.

I wouldn’t have told her she could come.

WelshRabBite · Yesterday 18:04

Can your DH not just go out somewhere to meet his mate on his own? Why does it need to be at your house?

Satsuma55 · Yesterday 18:04

Christ alive...this woman has balls of steel. I wouldn't be up for this at all, she's rude and bolshy, totally unable to read the room.

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:05

WelshRabBite · Yesterday 18:04

Can your DH not just go out somewhere to meet his mate on his own? Why does it need to be at your house?

I think I covered it, but it’s because the only pub isn’t suitable/is booked and that it’s too late to expect them to host.

OP posts:
OldrNWisr · Yesterday 18:06

Tell the cheeky bitch she can piss off and tell your DH they can go to the pub without you. Don’t be bullied into accepting crappy behaviour from anyone. You choose who comes to your home and she is not welcome.

Vaxtable · Yesterday 18:06

That’s appalling. I would be telling ‘d’ h he can piss off to his friends house and you are going to spend the weekend thinking hard about your relationship and if it’s worth continuing as he does not have your back and that football seems far more important than the fact you are upset over his friends wife’s behaviour

Mcgriddle · Yesterday 18:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 18:07

"Are you sure you trust food and drink in my home, Janet?"

Vaxtable · Yesterday 18:08

Thinking about it if she does turn up I would absolutely have it out with her and tell her face to face she is rude and not a friend as she is happy to gossip behind your back that the only reason she is there is because you are married to a spineless man who doesn’t have your back and you will not have anything to do with either of them any more

murasaki · Yesterday 18:08

He and she are appalling. Arrange to eat a friend for drinks and book yourself a hotel room for a night.

CrowMate · Yesterday 18:09

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:05

I think I covered it, but it’s because the only pub isn’t suitable/is booked and that it’s too late to expect them to host.

But they’re not hosting - it’s snacks and TV.

Don't be bullied in your own home.

I have to step away from this thread, I think it’s the heat, I’m fuming 🤣🤣

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · Yesterday 18:09

Your husband needs to get his arse off that fence hes sitting on before he gets splinters. Tell him hes to meet his mate elsewhere. No further discussion. This is your home.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · Yesterday 18:09

Why is it too late for them to host your husband if they’re just planning a take away anyway?

Ineffable23 · Yesterday 18:10

Have you got a friend's house you can bugger off to? You shouldn't have to but I might be tempted to just get out the house. I just can't really understand why she wouldn't just apologise profusely for having been so rude. I get your DH wanting to not have an argument with his own friend.

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:10

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · Yesterday 18:09

Why is it too late for them to host your husband if they’re just planning a take away anyway?

That is DH’s view, I doubt he has even asked. I am tempted to suggest that to my friend actually.

OP posts:
Gardenisablooming · Yesterday 18:10

Tell her to use the time home alone to reflect on her awful behaviour!

TheBlueKoala · Yesterday 18:11

I would tell your friend that it's just your and her dh that get together because you have made other plans (to see genuinly nice friends)..

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:11

Ineffable23 · Yesterday 18:10

Have you got a friend's house you can bugger off to? You shouldn't have to but I might be tempted to just get out the house. I just can't really understand why she wouldn't just apologise profusely for having been so rude. I get your DH wanting to not have an argument with his own friend.

I can go to my Mum’s but would need to be home by 11 as she doesn’t stay up later than that, so the football would only be at the half way point by then.

OP posts:
Mycatmax · Yesterday 18:11

What a cheeky cow! And DH needs to back you.

Rachelshair · Yesterday 18:11

Can they not just go to another pub, y'know, using a thing called a taxi? I would be standing there at the door not letting either of them in, they are breathtakingly rude.

SodOffbacktoaibu · Yesterday 18:12

Well, the friendship is ruined. If you can afford to, I think I'd go and have a night away somewhere and leave them to it. Id seriously be upset with the whole fucking lot of them now.

Dear me. People do not know how to behave anymore. Set some standards. Don't cave!

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:13

Rachelshair · Yesterday 18:11

Can they not just go to another pub, y'know, using a thing called a taxi? I would be standing there at the door not letting either of them in, they are breathtakingly rude.

I’ve made that suggestion - to be honest, DH can be tight at the best of times. So I suspect he’s glad he will watch it at home with his only expense being some supermarket beers given he’s expecting the takeaway to be provided and paid for.

OP posts:
WonderingAndOverthinking · Yesterday 18:14

Yeah, I wouldn’t be in on Saturday night. Leave the cheeky cow to the men.

murasaki · Yesterday 18:15

Dinnertext · Yesterday 18:13

I’ve made that suggestion - to be honest, DH can be tight at the best of times. So I suspect he’s glad he will watch it at home with his only expense being some supermarket beers given he’s expecting the takeaway to be provided and paid for.

Well tell him it's a taxi or a hotel for you, that might focus his mind.

WheresthesaladTheresthesalad · Yesterday 18:15

What a brass neck she has. No way I'd be hosting anything. It's your home, you've said it's cancelled, end of. Your DH goes there if he's so damned determined to sit on the fence.

If your DH wont budget from the original arrangement, if I were you I'd definitely go out for the night well before they arrive. The audacity of some people!!

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