To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

I'd have told your prick of a husband, that they can host him for any future matches.
You ought to have asked her,why she felt the need to slag you off to all who will listen!
And also tell her pepto isn't for the shirts.
I think she's appalling but your DH is worse.
My ex husband didn't have my back on something....far far more serious than your scenario, I never got over it, and eventually got divorced

Cheering and football chanting at you as you came in is such disgusting, disrespectful and uncaring behaviour.
I'm pretty shocked at that, even given his lack of support these last few days.

Your DH is a bit of a cunt, isn't he. He couldn't make it more obvious that he is taking the side of your rude and ungrateful friend and is throwing you under the bus. You made your feelings clear about him inviting this couple round to watch the match and he has deliberately done it again. Whether this is out of spite or to be the big 'I am' in front of his mate isn't clear but, whatever his motivation, he's being a really shitty husband.

At this point, the issue is your DH. I'd honestly be re-thinking the relationship.

Well done OP.
I would have been well pissed off with her ‘Willing to eat here again’ comment. Who the hell does she think she is?
She’s no friend that’s for sure.
Right up her own arse and thinks she’s better than you!
No way would I be cooking for them ever again.
Definitely fade her out but I think you might have a problem with that due to your unsupportive husband.

Im sorry but I think this is a load of rubbish. I didn't at first but let's be honest, who would put up with this nonsense.
Firstly no giving DH hell, then going to speak to that witch. No its not true and im sorry I sat and read every thing.
If it is true then the OP needs a good kick up the backside for putting up with all this crap.

He must still be drunk as isn’t he meant to be stingy, yet has offered to host and order takeaway.

Chanting would have got an immediate fuck off response from me.

Plan a night away for yourself. Leave them some lovely gummy sweets (Amazon reviews should tell you which ones)on the side as no hard feelings. Then definitely hide the remote.

Are you actually going to deal with him being a dick? Or just let him get on with it? I'm just wondering if you have form for being a wet blanket - with him, and that's why your friend assumed she could treat you like shit as well?

Willing to eat here again? Who does she think she is? Lady fucking bountiful?

You've been very gracious and I'm glad she apologised but I wouldn't have let her hug me, yuck!

Your husband is an absolute thundercunt. I would be thinking very seriously about whether I could live with his dismissive and disrespectful attitude to me. Right down to the sarcastic cheering and ordering you into the kitchen to talk to your bete noir.

If England get through the next round, I'd say to friend if you really want to make it up to me please host the final/takeaway at your house (she has plenty of notice this time). That way your home doesn't get invaded and you can decide not to go.

Hopefully after the football ends you can rapidly fade her out. Definitely never cook for the horrible pair again.

OP does your DH normally make arbitary decisions without your input ?

He’s already said if England reach the final that he’s offered to host them again.

If my DH went behind my back and made plans to accommodate someone who had been rude and disrespectful to me, he'd get ripped a new one.

You need to put your foot down OP.
And please stop referring to this female POS as a "friend". She's already shown you that she's no such thing.
Raise the bar !

Was it the alcohol talking when she got all emotional and hugged you?

I wouldn't make any effort whatsoever to keep in touch with someone like this - really upsetting for you.

Wow, I think your husband is actually worse than the woman. He can't even be neutral about it. What a goading, unpleasant prick.

Surely this can't be true.
She turned up?!
and after all that you still didn't tell her to get the fuck out of your house?
Gobsmacked.
As for your husband I wouldn't be able to even look at him.
I don't know him but even I've got the ick with him.
His lack of solidarity and support would have me searching for a good solicitor this morning.

Your husband is just disgusting OP. How do you have any respect for him after this?

I would tell them all to fuck the fuck off.... And when they get there fuck off some more

Your dh can go there for the next match... And stay there

I’m really surprised that a) your husband is such a dick b) you seem to accept that and c) you made a fuss over this then spent time chatting to her in the kitchen. What was the point of all this?! Are you going to go out next match too or just carry on as you used to?

I am so glad my DH would never treat me like this. OP, you deserve so much better. I'm not saying ltb, but I think your relationship might need some work. Would your DH consider couples therapy?

All the research points to when contempt/disrespect enters a marriage, divorce often follows. If you want to stay with this man, I think he needs to understand why being so dismissive (saying you're dramatic, telling you to go gossip etc) is poison to your marriage.

Some hard conversations and hard work now could save you a lot of pain in the future.

Your husband sounds deeply unattractive. He is also lacking in the loyalty needed for any marriage/relationship.

This whole episode would make me look at him entirely differently. But I imagine this isn't the first time he has been so dismissive of you.

Cheering and chanting as you arrived home.. what an absolute cretin.

I would be done with the friendship too.

I honestly hope that anyone who has a DH that is behaving as yours is would be reading them the riot act.
I think that’s why people are struggling to believe it’s genuine.
Plenty of notice for them
now to have the takeaway at there house now.
Your DH is a dick, football chanting at you and arranging for them to come back again.
Unless there is a massive drip feed that it’s his house, his behaviour is so awful.

I have to admit she is the least of your problems now.
You have to seriously think about the complete lack of respect your husband has shown you over this period. He’s not remained neutral. He’s undermined you, not supported you, and actively chosen them over you. Such a lack of disrespect.
Is he always like this where you are concerned? Can you, but more importantly, should you, put up with this?

Christ. I’ve read all of your posts on the last two threads and I actually cannot believe the dramatics over such an innocent comment!

Your husband is really horrible to you and lets his friend be too.

If there was any doubt there isn't now.
Your husband is low class scum and those friends of his are likewise.

How on earth someone remains married to someone like that is beyond me.

Good luck OP.

I feel really sad for you to be honest. You seem stuck with three selfish people who minimise your feelings and prioritise their pretty pathetic wants over you. Looking back it seems like the need for them to attend your house was effectively a rouse to force you and your “friend” into talking and so things could be glossed over.

The whole wording of the first text suggests that this woman bitches about you to others. Be careful OP.

Just to say that I have a really sensitive stomach, so much that eating different brands will give me a lot of problems. A lot of it is also down to whatever oils people use. But this is 100% my problem. I accept it, cope with it. I certainly wouldn't be slagging off someone else's cooking behind their backs for it. OP's "friend" may simply be developing food sensitivities like many people do as they get older. Leaky gut syndrome etc.

You think it was "innocent" - oh boy !

If some "friend" make sarky remarks behind my back about my cooking/hosting they would be "unfriended" pretty quickly. And no way on God's green earth would they be invited to my house again.

Some peoples' standards are pretty low IMO.