To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Your second sentence explains why the menu is relevant, or at least interesting to know because of how it reflects on the guests.

Because unless the OP’s pasta dish contained lobster for example or some type of seafood and the guests asked where that was from, how would it even come up where the OP brought the ingredients?

Would be very odd for guests to notice and be able to distinguish that typical pasta ingredients of for example tomatoes/cream/the pasta itself weren’t what the guests “were used to”. And also odd for such ingredients to require the use of Pepto Bismol afterwards, unless one has a problem with a particular food… which would apply regardless of whether it was bought in Lidl or Harrods.

To me, it seems less like letting him off the hook and more getting through the day. Her husband has made it clear that he considers the woman welcome, so how is OP supposed to keep her out?

I agree with @CaptainMyCaptain "I would rather go out and leave them to it. Have nothing to do with it including clearing up. If there's a mess go out again in the morning."

Personally, I'd have not come back until afternoon on Sunday, but OP doesn't have that option.

Why doesn't she?

She's not able to stay over at her mums house

The friend was just being a bitch about OPs cooking and a snob about how she thinks OP can't afford good ingredients. I doubt she was really ill, and I think whatever OP had served her she would have made snide comments, some people are just like that. I would quite like to know too though!

This.

The friend could have been ill, but it's unlikely to be down to OP's cooking, given that no one else who was present at OP's dinner fell ill. More likely, the friend and her husband caught a stomach bug somewhere, or ate something dubious earlier in the day. Friend is just being snobby and rude about OP's food.

Hope you had a good evening with your mum OP. How was coming home?

Hope you are ok.🌺

Please update us op. I’m so overinvested in this thread. Some people are just ginormous cheeky fuckers.

also thinking of you OP and hoping for update! Hope you managed to enjoy the evening. I’d go and sit in a Maccy D’s nursing a McFlurry rather than walk in at half time 😂

This is pure supposition and assumption. We have no idea, because OP refuses to even briefly outline the menu.

Perhaps it was cream of oyster soup, followed by carbonara pasta with cream, and then tiramisu.

She explicitly said it was about where she shopped and used “not waitrose” as an example.

You just want to know so you can judge the food. Who cares? The friend was caught out trash talking someone’s hospitality. That’s rude, period.

Wondering how OP is doing is a nice distraction from this 2nd half

She did not explicitly say anything.

The offending woman also didn't say she was poisoned or suffered from food poisoning. She made a joke to someone else about having to stock up on the pepto to deal with a meal at OP's, which last time gave her and her partner indigestion.

Unless the food was precooked processed food, it makes very little difference where you shop - but it certainly has provided social rage bait for this thread.

She did, in the first thread.

It makes zero difference what it was or if she felt ill afterward. If you have manners.

She has sent a long reply and said that both her and her Husband had extremely upset stomach’s last time but she felt too polite to mention and to decline the invite. She says she thinks some of the ingredients I used were from places they wouldn’t usually shop and so didn’t agree with her. She has suggested they come round but only for drinks and said they are happy to bring some crisps/olives with them.

From the previous thread.

Yes, I did indeed read the other thread.

"Extremely upset stomachs" is not food poisoning. It's indigestion, whatever those symptoms might be.

What "ingredients" do you imagine are meant here?

As OP refuses to outline her stomach-upsetting menu, so all we have are lines to read through and rage bait around class and supermarkets.

No, I want to know so I can understand.

If the food was spicy, that would make sense. If the menu was heavy on fat or cream, that would make sense.

What doesn't make sense is making this about supermarkets and class signifiers.

I’m really doubtful there was anything wrong with the food, I think she was just being horrible and then had to make something up. If you had whatever it was they’re saying, you’d just suggest pub lunches or picnic meet ups or similar, you wouldn’t say ‘yes’ to do exactly the same thing again.

Yes and the idea they were “too polite” to say anything doesn’t really hold up after their railroading of the Op over the last few days does it?

The point is that it was the friend who raised the shop issue, not the OP. If it was the ingredients or the menu, why wouldn't the friend have said it was richer than they were used to, or more UPF or whatever - instead of not from places she'd normally shop ?

Have they left yet @Dinnertext?

I thought that.

I'd be sitting at some random services with a good book.

It was the ex-friend who made it about supermarkets - “as your food was from somewhere I wouldn’t usually shop” was the phrasing, or very similar. It’s a bit obtuse still to be insisting on a full menu when the recipe or ingredients were never raised by the ex-friend as an issue.