To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Yes I’ve had one post removed, as has @PinkMagpie

Good for you OP. And good for you not getting pushed into pretending she is a decent friend.

I do hope you consider addressing it with your ‘D’ H when the time is right as he has belittled you, been disloyal and invalidating. Not to mention misogynistic.

Hope you enjoy your evening and I hope they all get food poisoning from the take away and the TV breaks half way through the match.

I usually try to be the bigger person. Mostly I fail quite spectacularly but it makes me feel good that I gave it a go!

What are your plans with your mum?

Good for you OP. You’ve taken the situation into your own hands and you’ve removed yourself from it so she can’t manipulate you

Hopefully she sees how ridiculous she is being demanding to march into someone else’s home and order herself a takeaway

This is not the thought process of someone like this. Absolutely everything will be twisted to be the OPs fault or silliness. She’s damned whatever she does because she stood up to a narc

Hope all goes well!

Enjoy the day with your mum

Why can't you stay over at your mum's?

you are my kind of person 😊

Yup.

Despite previous posters asking why the husband is dismissing her concerns and actively dismissing her, the op has never defended him or answered this 🤔

Nor has she answered multiple requests for the actual offending dinner menu.

Apparently asking for this, or was it pointing out OP has not taken the high road at any point in this saga, requires a post deletion.

My thought was that her mum lives in a care home or a complex for the elderly or something similar to that. I had a relative who lived in a flat on a tiny estate (not the right word but I can’t think how else to describe it) and she wasn’t allowed overnight visitors unless it was an overnight carer. There was a one bed roomed empty flat on the premises that people could rent in order to stay near their relative for a few nights, but if it was already booked then that was that.

At least take every fork and spoon....

God, she’s thick skinned!
What time are they coming?

Have you not told her you’re going to your mum’s?

The menu is hardly relevant unless it was foraged mushrooms. The 'friend' criticised the place the OP shopped as if Aldi (or wherever) food is more likely to poison you than Waitrose food.

She did actually. Look again.

I don't understand why you're letting your partner off the hook, leaving your own home, and letting her take over.

Hell would freeze over, before I would let that happen.

I can’t believe you’ve let her push you out of your own home! That’s madness and your husband should be ashamed of himself, if it was that important to the guys to watch the footie together they should have changed plans and gone to their house. What a kick in the teeth that is for you op, your dh definitely doesn’t have your back

I would rather go out and leave them to it. Have nothing to do with it including clearing up. If there's a mess go out again in the morning.

@namechangedforthis67 You're right, but the one positive is that no one can force the OP to continue her friendship with this woman. She can block her number and refuse to engage with her.

That's what I do with people who are unpleasant to me. I'll say hello if I see them somewhere, but otherwise ignore them. Eventually she'll get tired of bugging the OP and bugger off.

She isn’t. Her husband is. He’s the problem now, putting himself and them before his wife.