To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

I’m fairly new to MN so can I just ask please - what is the purpose in what you describe above? It is just attention seeking?

I agree with this - it's the setting up for thread 3. Also the focus on the friend's behaviour rather than the husband's betrayal.

I agree the husband is the unbelievable character in this

@Nousernameideaaga

Yes it is attention seeking.

Lots of things posted on MN are totally fictitious and could be easily resolved by just speaking to the other person. There will always be an excuse as to why the simple solution isn't possible ("people pleaser" wet lettuce is the usual excuse) Situations that result in 2 or 3 subsequent threads are particularly suspicious. As a pp has said, it's primarily entertainment and it is wise not to get invested.

TO clarify, I am just responding in general to someone who is new to MN - none of my comments are specifically directed at the contents of this thread.

I think its a mix of boredom, attention seeking, sometimes it can be journalists as these threads end up in places like daily mail. Occasionally it can be someone trying to get money, although these become obvious to anyone that has been around for a while but some have gone on for months and been incredibly convincing. I often dont understand the point myself, especially the ones that go on for ages and then turn out to be not real.

I just take everything on here with a pinch of salt, what I feel bad for are the people that get so emotionally invested in these threads especially as MN seem less willing to pull these threads as they do drive traffic. But people do get overly invested.

If you really can't just your husband to see sense ( and that's got to be sorted out another day soon) then leave the house and take the relevant fuse out of the fuse box with you.

This is crazy, how can anyone have such brass balls to insist they’re coming to a house they’ve been explicitly told they’re not welcome in?! Your husband is of course muddying the waters as he’s extending ‘his’ invite and dismissing your (valid) feelings. I’d be v v hurt by his attitude.

This woman is making an absolute fool of you and your DH is encouraging it. Sending a fucking menu after she's been told she's unwelcome? Not a chance I would leave my home for the likes of her. Turn her away at the door and send your spineless DH along with her.

I don't say this lightly but I would divorce him over this, and I would say no guests at all tonight. Id go bloody nuclear. How dare he! How dare they! This is YOUR HOME. You have every right to have whoever you want there or not for whatever reason. I would never speak to your friend again (she has been awful, and is doubling down and now insisting on trampling all over your boundaries and shit stirring between you and your DH). Your DH is not listening to you at all, and now you are making plans to leave! Your own home! This is batshit bloody crazy. Fuck the football match.

You need to find your rage OP and you need to end this shit right now. You may have originally said your friends husband could still come round, but that has now been used against you and thrown in your face. Don't leave your own home. But dont allow anyone else in. Tell friend and her husband now, and your DH, and call the police if they turn up.

Fuckers. Im raging on your behalf.

Pepto! How dare she! How dare he not be outraged, and banish them both from his house forever more!

Divorce him. This is ridiculous.

😆I like your style !

100% agree. This has my sister stamped all over it.

Mumsnet does ask people not to ‘troll hunt’ because it clogs up threads with posts like this. If you don’t think it is real please just don’t engage

Posters want to stay vague so as not to give outing details. And they have to be specific about the CF behaviour because that is the point of the thread and they will get a million follow up questions if they aren’t specific

Ask him point blank why your friend's feelings matters more to him than yours
It absolutely would have me reconsidering my marriage.

I’m not sure how saying what type of pasta dish the OP cooked would be “outing”.

Unless you’re implying the OP is well-known in her parts for making a rare pasta dish, details about which on here would make her colleagues and neighbours immediately recognise her?

You’re not MNHQ, you don’t get to tell posters what to do.

I’ve made 3 posts in total on this thread, and one in the last one. Hardly “filling it”. This is my 4th, so I can respond to you, which was the purpose of my last post too.

I’m not sure why you’ve decided to target me when several others have written about the OP’s style of posting.

Correction: none in the last thread.

You’ve been deleted for it. MNHQ hath spoken.

I’m off to my mums shortly, I’m looking forward to forgetting about everything for the afternoon and most of the evening. Thanks to everyone who has offered their support and advice, it is appreciated x

Please take the remote. I know it's petty but ...

I must admit it’s tempting, as are many of the other suggestions made. But I am intent on remaining the bigger person.

When you return tonight, go straight upstairs. Otherwise you'll have to deal with a tinkly laugh and 'Oh, there you are, have you finished sulking now?'