To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

I think "fuck off" would cover it.

Naaah, it's Aldi veg.

Not organic or ANYTHING!!

Just block her and crack on with your plans with Mum, OP.

There will be thread 3- what happens on Saturday.

I had commented on this thread earlier not understanding some of OPs reactions but the more I read, the more I am in line with your thinking.

She sounds absolutely awful and I'm cross with your husband too, but he's a man so what can we expect.

Do you want to watch the football OP? Assuming not, carry on with your excellent plan and slip upstairs when you get home. Would she attempt to come and find you? Can you put a chair under your bedroom door or something?

There is nothing to be done about this woman other than to hold firm to your position that she is dead to you now.

I'm not one for commenting on threads like these, usually, because it's so difficult for any one of us to explain situations in their full context and receive reasonable responses and solutions, as a result. This is due to limitations in communication style etc.

However, having read all of your statements, your DH is being diabolical, IMO.

How dare he side against anyone but you and proceed with plans against your wishes?

Even if you are in the wrong, he should show support and cancel with whatever diplomatic reasoning he wants to use, in the event he believes this can all be salvaged at a later date.

I would never leave my own home to allow someone who offended me to enter it as though they owned it with the support of a traitorous DH!

The whole situation is outrageous!

Then she needed one word. Sorry. Simple as that. Instead she has invalidated and dismissed the OPs feelings which is worse than the original blunder. It shows a complete lack of respect or empathy for the OP.

Oh there are some out there. Very entitled and pushing for what they want regardless. She feels emboldened to go to the house because she’s got equally entitled and misogynistic men backing her up to think that this is all OP making a mountain out of a molehill.

My god, the melodrama.

Still waiting for the OP to say what she served on that fateful night, aside from the blank descriptor of the main dish as "pasta".

Seems the accidental text sender has found the thread 😂

I also feel there is too much drama. It’s typical on here where it’s leave the bastard pr go no contact for the smallest slight.

i mean fucks sake, she doesn’t like her cooking, they got sick, it’s hardly calling her an ugly bitch and slagging off her kids.

For those saying they think this situation feels made up, you are lucky that you haven’t encountered someone like the texter who railroads the people around them.

I agree that the original text wasn’t the crime of the century but it did absolutely warrant an immediate apology and OP was right to ask for one. Texter’s behaviour since then has been awful. She has flat out ignored what OP is saying to her, wants to carry on with her own wishes, is demanding access to OP’s home and is ganging up with the husbands to achieve it.

I have a situation in my own life with family members acting terribly to a close family member of mine. I haven’t done a thread because it is convoluted and outing. But if I did a thread I’m sure a lot of people would think it was made up as the behaviour is too crazy!

I know someone just like this and totally believe the OP

My thoughts exactly. If this a regular pattern of behaviour OP look up narcissism/NPD. This is the exactly type of thing my inlaws would do.

Would I fuck be evacuating my own house to make way for her to come.

i would make sure it was clear beforehand she’s not welcome and wont be let in then if she did turn up, she wouldnt be let in.

Yes, this is the part of the whole situation that I find truly baffling.

OP have you directly said to the woman “Do not come to my house. You are not welcome”?

I'd retire to my room when they arrivez put headphones on and if they try to talk to you pause what you're listening to and say 'no thanks.' then start it again and go back to what you were doing.
have you got any faulty electronics you can plug in at intervals in your room to trip the electrics?

I’m not finding the CF friends behaviour unbelievable. I am starting to have some doubts about OPs inability to deal with it effectively though.

The passivity doesn’t seem credible to me. I don’t know anyone who would leave their own home in this situation. DH would be given a nuclear option of which woman he wants to back.

It's been linked several times on this thread for people asking exactly the same question as you.

Nobody is going to summarise it if you can't be bothered to read through the comments.

Or, open google and type "mumsnet message by mistake" That will find it.

Or, use advanced search and type in the OPs name. That will find it too.

Edited for typo.

Same! I find it interesting on MN when people don’t believe someone would act in such an unreasonable way 😂 they must be the lucky ones!

Of course there will, they are always 3 parts 🙄 but you see why, look at all the anger and posts

Personally I find it interesting how many people believe everything on MN is real. Even at the point of MN pulling threads for being a troll, ive still seen a TAAT insisting it was real.

Its not the situation thats unbelievable, its the reactions, the posting just enough to get everyone just ragey enough to fill multiple threads.

Trust me ive had some insane real life situations too, but the level of oh well and throwing in just enough to make people furious reads like many multi threads of the past. Its almost like a formula thats used again and again to guarantee getting to 3 threads. And as I said in another post even when MN used to pull these types, some people would still insist they were real.

They really are the lucky ones. I grey rocked my one several years ago for my own sanity. DH and I always joke that a psychologist could have a very interesting field day based on just this one case!

MN is just entertainment after all @holidayhelpneeded1even the ones that are made up (I don’t think this one is but of course you see the others that are obviously so) we see something in them that rings true with our own lives and it pulls you in. I don’t worry too much about the voracity of MN posts tbh