To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

I'm beginning to think they want OP out of the way so they can have a 3-some after the match.

But then I have a nasty suspicious mind....😮

Imagine as a friend, colluding in a difficult situation between a couple. That is no friend.

I just can’t bear the image of this woman joking and laughing with the menfolk during the football, making out she is all chilled and low-drama. When she is the protagonist who has caused all this, with no accountability.

yes, @Mirandawrongs has got the right idea. Get yourself angry, have a glass of wine, and enjoy.

It’s probably much better than my gut instinct, which would have been to send an obviously fake “accidental text” of my own with something really nasty about her in it. This only really works if she has a particular insecurity/sore spot you can exploit. Embarrassingly childish, yes, but I’d enjoy it.

my other option would be to stay and enjoy the match - and since you were planning to go to your mums, I’d get my mum round to join in. Hell, I’d invite my granny too. They’re both of Eastern European origins and fantastically blunt (ie rude) and would absolutely adore the opportunity to put their skills to use. But I think any variety of mother/grandmother would work just fine to kill the vibe of their precious football night.

Is anyone else fascinated by this women, the absolute confounder of every algorithm, every social convention, every sense of what is acceptable? it’s kind of blown my mind that there is someone out there like this. OP, i am still completely on your side here and don’t mean to play down your hurt at all but this woman should be studied! I assumed she was British throughout this but if she is, she is a breed I’ve never met!

ah I missed this thread can anyone do a quick summary . Sounds awful op

I'd maybe tell her you're going out as she's planning to come over and make up whether you like it or not... if you're not there would she still come?

OP, you know you are going to your mum’s and then you’re going to come back to your house and go straight to bed - not speaking to any of the fuckers if they are there.

This woman sounds like a narcissist - she won’t apologise and has doubled-down on her position. She truly isn’t worth your words from now on.

Your husband is his own person and can choose to do what he wants. He has chosen his mate and wife over you.

Let that sink in for a bit.

If it’s all about the football, then he has chosen the football over you.

Let that sink in.

Get angry with him: you are entitled to. He can want everything to smooth over so he can watch a football match but that’s selfish and negating your feelings.

You have stood up to ex friend, continue to do so and now stand up to your husband. He sounds dreadful.

Lastly, know your worth.

Don't allow anyone to ride roughshod over your feelings. You deserve better.

I really wouldn't get yourself stressed over any mumsnet post as half the posts on here arent real. Give advice sure but dont personally invest any level of stress given a lot of these posts end up being made up and its not worth getting yourself worked up over.

Hmm, a very bizarre situation altogether...just enough posts from OP to keep everyone incensed but no response when posters ask why she's being so meek, despite claiming she isn't going to back down, and then there's the friend's unbelievable behaviour... 🤔

I would be very disappointed in my husbands behaviour.

and if your friend turns up after all of this I’d not want to be friends anymore.

your husband is right life is too short to be around people like that.

enjoy your evening with you mum I would not personally go home I would stay elsewhere. I’d probably grab a tent from the garage and go to a camp site.

Along with all of the quite deranged revenge fantasies on display…

This is absolutely shit. I echo another poster, the thought of her being the laid back child watching the football with the men while you're ruining everything without your dramatically is maddening.

Your DH is simply too excited about the football to give this any attention.

You will feel worse if you stop her coming in as DH won't back you.

I'd simply grey rock her. We would not be friends again.

Talk to hubby but not now, wait till the world cup hysteria has died down.

So report.

Honestly there have been so many threads recently that are so obviously fake and it seems to take a lot for anything to get removed, so I see why people dont report and even if they do, it seems to take a lot before things are removed which might explain why there are more and more like it. Ive seen threads where most people are saying its clearly not real, but its taken days before it got removed and MN then say yes it wasnt genuine but thats after days of MN saying nothing suspicious here.

Just might be why people dont report or despite reports why people might be frustrated with so many obviously fake threads standing.

Not on a sofa? A friend’s?

If not I’d be tempted to blow a fuse - literally flip the switch to turn the power off - when I got back. Your DH is a dickhead

That. Unfortunately OP 's stance is making her 'friend' the hero, and herself 'irrational and hysterical' to the DHs.

I know it's what the majority of MNers wanted her to do, but she was never going to get anyone on her side, and it was pretty obvious that this approach would just entrench the other three's opinion of her. Meanwhile the cause of all this ends up being Ms Popular.

You really need to get tough now OP. You need to text her and say - Get the message, I don’t want you here, you’re not welcome, so don’t come.

I would go out and take the tv remotes with me

Typical man that he uses Anne Widdicombe's passing to make a point to YOU about YOUR behaviour in being upset, but wont realise that it shows how silly HE looks in how unimportant football is when something like this happens

I am so very unimpressed by your dh. Not having your partners back is the problem here, and that’s a problem that’s ended many many marriages. Putting the football before your partner has also ended marriages. I wouldn’t be talking to him at all, I’d be reconsidering everything.

Oh my god. This woman is unbearable!! How were you ever friends with her?

If she goes along with it all though she isn’t honouring herself. They will continue to see her as a doormat.

Alternatively it is "the accidental text sender" trying to make it up to the OP by providing the food for the night.

Gosh, could it be OP's cooking? As the husband seems keen for a takeaway.