To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Oh OP ☹️.

Cant you stay the night at your mums house?

If you go back halfway through the game it’ll be a shit show.

Not an option unfortunately.

It's completely beyond me to understand why she "can't possibly host", when all they're getting is a takeaway! WTF? It makes no sense.

Shes not just a bitch,she's a very thick skinned bitch! What part of 'youre not welcome in my home' does she not get
How does she know the Italian takeaway, buys high class ingredients from high class supermarkets!?
It will only be bulk catering stuff anyway!!
On another note she told the mate she was slagging you off too,she has to buy pepto bismol, which indicates she gets heart burn and or indigestion right....but the rude bitch basically tell you your cheap inferior food gives them the shits right.....pepto doesn't cure the shits!!
So she's not only a 2 faced,snobby bitch, she's a liar too.
DO NOT host this woman under any terms,she can have them at her house

I have a feeling he’d expect you to ‘host’ Fred and Rose West as long as he gets a takeaway out of it.

'prepare a proper evening' for the football? - who is she? the Dowager Countess of Grantham?

My inference (and from knowing her as I do) was that she wouldn’t provide a takeaway if hosting , it would have to be a lovely home cooked dinner.

I'm not sure what she'd need to prepare. The horrible woman. Before you go out out a bottle of pepto by the bathroom sink.

No! It's your house! Why should you sneak anywhere?

Text your friend "You're not welcome in my home Janet. Stop inviting yourself, it's embarrassing for you. If you turn up here on Saturday I'll call the police to remove you. I can't make myself clearer than that." Mute her and don't get drawn into any more discussion. She's a witch and very comfortable with bossing you around

Tell your husband if he allows that woman to cross the threshold then you and him are in big trouble, because he took vows to be loyal to you, not to Janet's fucking takeaway lasagna.

Why are you letting these dickheads wipe their feet on you?

I would message back saying “you are not welcome in my home, please don’t embarrass yourself by showing up where you aren’t wanted.”

Thing is, if you sneak upstairs, she will come up to your bedroom. Absolutely guaranteed.

Oh good grief! Bloody ridiculous woman!

You could give her your order and tell her not to bother to order for herself since you won’t be setting a place at the table for her.

I just don’t get why someone would willingly go to someone else’s house who really doesn’t want them there, it’s sounds awful!

Think I'd be telling DH that if he let's them into your house tomorrow, then hes the one that needs to pack a bag - permanently.
Don't go to your mums, why should you have to?
If he values the football over your relationship then that should tell you everything you need to know.

She sounds deranged! Can you ask a friend to stay over or book a hotel.

i also think you need words with your husband. He’s not sticking up for you. I’m not sure I’d be able to get over that.

This is utter madness. I don’t get it. Why would you be sneaking about in your home? I give up. No words.

Oh how snide of her

How much notice does making sure she has clean plates and cutlery for the takeaway she was planning to bring to yours require exactly?

The trouble is, if the OP goes to her mum's and the horrible woman and the two husbands are in the OP's home eating a takeaway, you just know that they'll all be slagging off the OP for "being so silly and overreacting". I couldn't tolerate that going on in my own home.

Ok, the woman is officially bonkers, who needs notice to host a takeaway with a long term friend.
I’d be booking into a hotel if you really don’t want to tell her to get lost and if she rocks up Saturday she won’t be coming in.

As pp said someone that brazen will definitely barge into your bedroom to tell you how silly you’re being and when you’re not there you’re husband sounds like he’ll be nodding along agreeing with her. I don’t understand how you’ve not gone mad at your husband and told him he goes to their house to watch football or you will do everything you can to make sure it’s spoilt. Most smart TVs you can add a password id do that and not tell him what it is! I really feel for you it’s so frustrating when you’re trying to stand up for yourself and everyone’s just dismissing your feelings and telling you to suck it up so it doesn’t impose on them. They’re selfish pricks, your husband aswell unfortunately

Time to find your ANGER.

Why should you have to sneak around in your own home? Why does your idiot of a husband not recognise that she is using him to point score and cause trouble between you?

She has the hide of a fucking rhino, and if she is determined to have a confrontation, perhaps she should have one.

I'd be making a group chat for all four of you and setting it out clearly: Ex-friend, I have told you I don't want you here. What part don't you understand? Have the takeaway in your own home and invite who you want, but you don't get to dictate what happens here.

“A lovely home cooked dinner” is another layer of insult to add to injury.

OP I think you've made it clear to her that you wanted an apology and she's chosen to ignore that. Regardless of whether she thinks it was a big deal or not, if your friend wants an apology and you refuse that's a choice and it's disrespectful. Stand your ground.

That’s what I mean. OP should give the lady her own order, and tell the “friend” not to bother ordering something for herself, as a place won’t be set at table for “friend”.