To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Ha, snap!

And it’s not even that. It’s the friend not bothering to show any embarrassment over being caught chatting shit about OP.

Maybe instead of being mature, send a text that says “Well, it looks like cxxx is still coming so guess I’ll have to put on my game face.”

I could definitely see me snipping the plug off. Or more probably, opening up the plug and snipping the live and neutral wires inside and bending them so that they don't connect any more and closing the plug up again. Or taking the fuse with me in my handbag. Maybe both. I'm sure they'd eventually work it out. Eventually.

My mum threatened to cut the plug off the one tv when I was about 10 and my sisters and I were fighting, if we didn't stop. We didn't, so she did. Gobsmacked silence from us. And a mild harrumph from dad who rewired it after we'd gone to bed.

If greet the husband at the door, but block 'Janet' and tell her to fuck off home. Then shit the door in her face.
But then I'm in my 50s and take no prisoners.

It's an awful situation you're in, you have my sympathies.However, my husband would 100% have my back.

Spoken like the mis-texting friend. Expecting OP to suck it up and be a doormat.

I finally heard from my friend again this afternoon, she sent me a pdf of the menu and said to let her know what I’d like for tomorrow. DH had a seperate message from her and sent his choices back. He is imploring me to be the bigger person but I’m not backing down, far from it.

Good for you OP! It’s so rude the way they are trying to railroad you into what they want. You have said you would rather not host on Saturday and that should be respected

At this point , your husband is the arsehole

She really is a bully.

I'd reply - no thanks and you're not welcome here. If you order takeaway it will need to be to your house. Don't message me again.

Your husband has just confirmed himself as a grade A backstabbing cunt

I think I would have to reply that what I wanted for tomorrow was for her to just take a running jump and certainly to respect my wishes that she keep away from me and my home. At this point not only is she being extremely rude and insensitive but she is also directly impacting your relationship with your husband. Intolerable.

What a cheeky cow! This is truly not normal behaviour!
I agree with PP - the takeaway needs to go to theirs.
I’d be beyond an apology by now.

I think it’s more she just doesn’t care. Nor does DP by the sounds of it.
Think I’d just not be there and leave then
to it tbh

I have replied as much - to repeat she isn’t welcome (but I’ve no issue with her husband coming alone) and that if she wants to be present, then she needs to host.

This!!

She's trying to divide and rule by messaging you separately. FFS.

Fuck, no!!

YOU are the injured party so YOU won't be bending over backwards to please everybody else!

Especially in the absence of either loyalty or apologies!

Cheeky, CHEEKY bastards!

Agree. It's like it's a game for her.

Goodness your ‘friend’ is shameless! Have a nice night with your mum

Wow. She is shameless. And your husband is spineless and unsupportive. The woman has not even apologised 🤯

I cannot believe a women who has insulted you and refused to apologise and who has been told she is not welcome in your home is still presuming to attend your home against your wishes, and people are suggesting you vacate your home for her.

And that your husband thinks this is reasonable.

It's outrageous.

The response to menus and get over it talk should continue to be: no, your lack of apology displays such a disregard for my feelings you are not welcome in my home.
And to your husband: I'm deadly serious about this. She is not coming into our home without my consent and if you go against my wishes it will have serious consequences in our relationship.
And no I don't give a shit about the football.

She didn’t insult the op, she didn’t even insult her cooking, she’s simply said they got sick. The pepto bismal thing I guess could be seen as an insult, but again jisy at her cooking.

Blimey you really feel strongly about your cooking.

And having upset a friend - whether or not you think its justified - she's declined to apologise and instead went on to imply the Op used incorrect/poor ingredients.