Our DS has no problem with "sense of self and achievements" and we've provided him with a lot of things, financially, a car, furniture/fittings for his flat, paying towards Uni costs so he did'nt need to take out full student loans, etc.
We did all that as an "investment" in him. The old adage, give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach him to fish and he'll eat for the rest of his life! We did it to get him to where he is now, as we were worried he'd not get his degree (awful covid years where nothing was face to face and he was trapped in his tiny room), and to grease the wheels when he had to move to a different city a couple of hundred miles away for his first graduate job - he didn't have the "headspace" to find and furnish a flat AND cope with working in a new high pressure employment. Of course, he didn't have his own money for a flat deposit, or a couple of thousand to furnish it (no unfurnished flats available!!), so heaven knows what he'd have done if we hadn't helped him out - well we do know, he'd either not have taken the job or would have given up in the first few weeks had he been living in a tent or hotel that he couldn't afford!
3 years on and he's fully independent, we don't "give" him anything any more, he's moved on from his first job and moved to London, sourced his own shared flat, bought his own furniture/fittings as needed. We've never even been inside his new flat and did literally nothing in respect of helping him (financially nor otherwise) with the home move, new job, etc. Did it all himself.
Kids need a "help up" not a "hand out".
We'd have done none of that if he was bumming about, not putting any effort into his education/career, etc., but we saw it as for the greater good, as we live in a deprived region and he'd not have got a decent job had he stayed closer to home or living at home. So we needed to help him relocate and set up in a city where there were jobs.