AIBU to think a 9-year-old boy can use the ladies with mum?

[aliceyyyy2654]

An AIBU on behalf of a friend who told me this story today.

my friend was out with her two children (DS aged 9 and DD aged 6). She took both with her into the ladies loo in her shopping centre. When she was done and the kids were washing their hands an old lady came up and told her it was unacceptable for a ‘young man’ to be in the women’s toilets as he was not a girl. This kid is 9!!

She was rather upset and embarrassed and hurried out and her son asked her why she was being shouted at.

When she told me this story I told her to ignore it and to continue taking her young children into the women’s with her when their dad isn’t present.

AIBU to think that a 9 year old boy should be able to go into the women’s with his mum as it is much safer than going into the men’s alone?

Let me tell you from personal experience that the feeling of ‘being ridiculous’ shifts when you personally know a male child (family member) who was raped in a shopping centre toilets.

Nope you’re right not a flicker of interest because sane women care more about the safeguarding of children. Are you still not getting it? YABU

👏🏼

I can assure you that most "female peers" wouldn't give a shit. You are truly weird.

Actually just going to copy and paste a previous post of mine when another poster mentioned the same point as though it was ground breaking information:

You cannot compare school toilets to public toilets. Children at school go to the toilet unsupervised yes but there will be no unsafe adults in there. I wouldn't want even my 6 year old daughter going into mixed toilets at school. I also wouldn't want my future 9 year old vulnerable boy going into the men's toilets alone. I will keep him with me in the ladies if needed and I can guarantee no women or girls would be at risk from my supervised 9 year old son in a room full of private cubicles.

This! It is never worth the risk.

Ok that’s a relief…..so what did you mean? Because I can’t think of anything else.

I am 100% sure not a single 9 year old girl wants her male classmate in the same toilet/changing room as her

I assume she means she would take photos/video a woman in a toilet and post it on social media because she has taken her young children for a wee. Apparently that wouldn’t be violating a woman’s privacy in a safe space though and would be totally morally and mentally sane thing to do.

Why put that on women/girls to solve though? That is what is happening when you keep using the female toilets.

So you’re going to post on a local FB group! Alert, Alert! I saw a mum take a young boy into the women’s toilets! They’d laugh at you.

Don’t be utterly ridiculous.

It’s actually scary who is out there in the world. These women are next level batshit!

You have no idea whay every 9 year old girl thinks of this. I honestly think most 9 year old girls wouldn't have a clue what the fuss was all about.

She would quite rightly be dealt with for harassment .

But the discomfort of boys invading girl's spaces isn't only about stopping them assaulting someone.

Would all adult women be happy for adult men to use the ladies if they were accompanied by a member of staff to ensure they don't assault people? I know I wouldn't. I would like privacy. Girls are entitled to the same.

You think little 9 year old boys are eyeing you up? So you have to escape to the toilets to get a break from their perversion?

You've officially lost the plot. You don't seem to understand this about safeguarding children do you?! CHILDREN.

How can you compare an adult man to a 9 year old? Have you actually lost your mind?

If only one girl objects that’s enough. Consent is not transferable.

But that is where it ends. What age can boys use the men’s changing room/toilets?!

I wait outside the men’s if my son uses them, he knows to shout for me or run out. I don’t wave him on his way from 100 metres away. You mitigate risks, like you do with anything else.

No wonder we have so many entitled men!

That isn't my experience from my dds. They definitely cared.

So….your suggestion is that my squidgy soft little lad has to run the risk of being raped because of the problems of society? I am female. I am a mum. It is my job to keep him safe. By your standard, we should then just let bad things happen to little boys. Can you have no sympathy at all?

A 9 year old is an innocent little child. Boy or girl. I wouldn’t allow either unsupervised in a men’s toilet.

People asking where does it end are being ridiculous . There is a world of difference between a 9 year old small innocent child and a 12 or 15 year old going through puberty.

Oh yes. The entitlement to not get raped. It’s not entitlement. Safety is a basic right that everyone deserves.