To be annoyed SIL showed DS her lactating breast

[dodomin]

DS just turned 4 and he walked in on SIL breastfeeding. He asked what she's doing and she said this is how I feed the baby milk. All fine with me. She asked him if he wants to see and he said yes. So she squeezed her nipples to show milk come out. I feel like that is unnecessary.. I feel like even I wouldn't have done that if I was breastfeeding.

AIBU to feel annoyed. Yes, I understand breasts are not sexual and they're functional parts etc. But it is still taught as a private part to children and I just don't appreciate it.

This is not a reasonable comparison.

A breast has no sexual function at all - it’s only that some people (men, lesbians) find breasts attractive.

A penis has an obvious sexual function.

Well it's not her place to teach your son anything important, and yes it is annoying that she overstepped. Keep an eye on her in future in case she starts trying to teach him about religion, ethics, sex or anything else that is the remit of the parent.

In this case though I'd let it go because although she shouldn't have done it, she will just pull the "you're a prude there's something wrong with you line" so favoured by anyone who oversteps boundaries.

I also think that was an extremely weird thing to do (and I breastfed, and have seen plenty of breastfeeding including full breast when someone changes position). Feeding itself is nothing remarkable. However, It's one thing to feed a baby, but another entirely to give an unrequested biology lesson!

Wouldn't bother me at all, he was interested, she showed him. I’d follow it up to explain that it only happens when a woman has a baby, if you’re worried about him asking other women about it

Honestly I don’t know. Definitely not an unrelated child of course. Even with a related child, I think my main worry would be the parent reacting like you are.

It wouldn’t bother me if my 4 yr old was asking questions to a breastfeeding family member and was shown though. I don’t know what harm would come from that.

YABU. get a grip. The child asked how it worked. She showed him. It’s a normal way to feed a baby. We are mammals.
is it your own internalised misogyny making you think this is somehow an offensive or sexual thing ? Because that’s a you problem.

I can't quite determine if this is a sarcastic response or not. Is it? Hard to tell with MN 🤔

No, that's not true. Sucking on nipples during adult sexual foreplay stimulates sexual function in many women.

So yes, showing where urine comes out of a penis could be considered comparable.

My aunt squeezed some into a cup for me to taste. I was about four too but I've never forgotten because it was horrible.

I think it’s a slight stretch to think this woman will go from breastfeeding to preaching about religion.

Is it exactly what happened though- did she really squeeze her nipple in his face? He’s 4 and may not have articulated it well, could she have taken the baby off and shown him her nipple and it was in full flow mid feed and therefore he saw milk?

A milky nip is not the same as a pissy penis now is it?

I think it’s insane that you can’t see that an older male relative showing a young child their penis is completely different to a breastfeeding woman.

I think you are being quite OTT here. It’s a woman nursing a baby and a bit of boob and some milk. She wasn’t giving graphic sex explanations. Breastfeeding isn’t a 12A sort thing.

I disagree, but hopefully you're right.

She left me a voicenote explaining what happened and that he might have questions. They were alone in the room.

I think it's insane that you would reply to a perfectly reasonable response with "I think it's insane".

Obviously it's more concerning if a man shows his penis to a child, because men are by far the more predatory and dangerous sex.

But there is, indeed a comparison.

And your assertion that breasts serve no sexual function is factually false.

I would have a problem with an older child, but not a four year old, life is very simplistic then and he asked a question which she answered and demonstrated. Its just nature.

Having said that, its something I would do with my kids, its a bit weird when they are not your kids when I think about it but I guess its the same principle and its his Aunty not some random stranger,

Ew.

I mean it's not the same thing but SIL does identify as they/them

Honestly, if you are this prudish, your SIL has done your son a favour. We need to be normalising breastfeeding, not clutching pearls about it.

Oh dear :(

She “squeezed milk in his face” as in actually squirted it into his face? Or she just showed him how a bit comes out when you squeeze your nipple?

Assuming it’s the latter, you’re being ridiculous. It’s just a nipple, get over it.

Totally inappropriate behaviour on her part.

Ha, you didn't get enough outrage from your OP, so you updated it to her expressing milk 'in his face', still no outrage so you've updated her (who you referred to as she/her throughout) to a they/them? You're really scrambling here.