To be annoyed SIL showed DS her lactating breast

[dodomin]

DS just turned 4 and he walked in on SIL breastfeeding. He asked what she's doing and she said this is how I feed the baby milk. All fine with me. She asked him if he wants to see and he said yes. So she squeezed her nipples to show milk come out. I feel like that is unnecessary.. I feel like even I wouldn't have done that if I was breastfeeding.

AIBU to feel annoyed. Yes, I understand breasts are not sexual and they're functional parts etc. But it is still taught as a private part to children and I just don't appreciate it.

Maybe on that argument we should cover our mouths then? It’s not comparable at all

I wouldn't like that. Unnecessary and inappropriate.

A person related by marriage waited till OP was out of the room then showed her child her breast up close.

OP has questions. Calling her prudish makes you sound like you have an agenda and are unable to understand normal parental concerns over overstepping boundaries.

Absolutely OP added the bat signal lol

Meanwhile SIL answered DS kindly leaving him nothing to be worried about …but she’s a bad person. Right

Oh dear, I thought I was talking to an adult capable of having a conversation and make reasonable comparisons.

You're not such an adult. Goodbye :)

Oh yeah it’s so deeply sinister…the SIL left a full voicemail explanation 🤦‍♀️

It's weird behaviour yes. But I don't think harmful for a 4 year old, just a bit ew for us.

But then I was always a very reserved breastfeeder, hidden away with nothing showing.

I've always been amazed at the women who were comfortable getting a big boob out and going for it without covering! I could imagine some of these women being very matter of fact about how the milk comes out with a toddler and it just being how they are.

If a breast is sexual because some people use it sexually …then there are lots of other scary body parts used in sex…hands 😱 AND mouths

Hmm, your behaviour is extremely odd. Really bizarre to get so angry and sarcastic about an OP who has the right to ask a question and wondered if a person related by marriage had overstepped boundaries.

Yes, you cannot truthfully say that hands or mouths are completely without sexual function either.

And no, a breast can be sexual because adult foreplay which includes breasts sucking stimulates sexual arousal in many women.

So, if your hand does sexually arouse you it would be a viable comparison, but as that is unlikely it's not

Try to keep up :)

Hope that helps.

No, I get what you mean. 4 year olds are getting to grips with private parts and he was absolutely fine to be curious but she did not need to do that to show him. She could have just explained while baby was on the boob. That’s too specific and crossed a major boundary to do in front of him. Very inappropriate and I would have to have words about this. As for PPs she could have just left it as her baby breastfeeding and explained from there. No need at all to do what she did. He didn’t need to be explicitly shown like that. That’s not okay.

I’m not angry ..I think it’s peculiar to be so exercised that SIL answered a child’s question in a way they could understand…you’d rather he thought the baby was eating her flesh?

It was not her place to give him a “show and tell” on breast feeding.
Fine to breast feed around him, talk about it, but not showing milky nipples to a 4 year old who you didn’t give birth to.

I can keep up and that’s a ridiculous proposition…so cucumbers must be sexual in your world ..because they can be used sexually?

No, you're not keeping up at all. Oh dear.

So, is your cucumber attached to your body and does it stimulate sexual arousal during adult foreplay when sucked.

No, but a breast can and does.

It's just not that complex. Your initial "breasts are not at all sexual" was wrong.

You're welcome.

Don't let people say breasts aren't sexual. Of course they are. They are ALSO functional. Why are people gaslighting on this point?? Anyway, OP, I'd have been like you. Totally not needed. Not sure there was any harm but wasn't necessary.

Agreed

I’m not being weird or name calling as you have stooped to and wouldn’t have the audacity to ask anyone to “stop it”

What a stupid comparison. Everybody on this planet wees, including this hypothetical daughter.

Relatively few people in our society BF for any meaningful length of time, and so it is never normalised for children. Your DS is going to grow up into a man who one day might need to be a supportive partner for a BFing woman. I think he was bloody lucky to have the opportunity to see it.

Also totally agree

It is so strange that people are pretending OP can't find this boundary crossing and unnecessary and pretending that breasts are absolutely unsexual when the fact is they can and do stimulate sexual arousal during adult foreplay.

I guess if someone has no real argument or answer, the best they can do is to gaslight and be sarcastic 🙄

I have definitely done this to show mine when feeding smaller ones. It’s not weird. It’s nice for kids to know that milk doesn’t grow in plastic bottles in Tesco.

..and there we have it - the idea that breastfeeding is a toilet function that should be kept private.
This reminds me of when I was breast feeding my first baby who is now in his early 50's. I was standing by the sinks in a women's public restroom, feeding my baby, when a woman told me that it was something I should be doing inside the toilet stall. Sitting on a toilet I guess!
At an airport women's room, a woman came up to me to see my baby, only to realize he was breastfeeding. Shocked she said, "shouldn't you be doing that in private"? I was also told by a woman, on another occasion, breastfeeding was "animal like". When a woman told me I shouldn't be feeding my baby in public. (I was always very discreet). I told her it was only natural, she said, 'so is shitting, but people don't shit in front of each other'.
Here we are in 2026 and some women still don't see the difference between nourishing your baby, as humans have done for thousands of years, to a man pissing in front of a little girl and then exposing himself to her.