To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

If she wasn't repulsed, she would not have considered cancelling the date, would she.

It's honestly hilarious how offended men get by other men being rejected for making disgusting comments. The minimising of her feelings, the elevation of her reaction. Finishing with the classic invalidating her feelings - le pièce de résistance. Not to mention crying about getting attacked for having a different opinion, then attacking others for theirs. How long have been an abuser? You seem really experienced!

Brilliant 👏👏👏

Superb response.

Man makes disgusting comment. Gets called out for it. Tries to blame woman for being touchy and getting 'offended for the sake of being offended'..

No thoughts on self-reflection. About possibly trying to meet her half way. Understand how she might have found that a bit much.

No it's just us that have to adapt around your sicko thoughts that you feel entitled to voice and basically degrade us in the process.

Fuck. Off.

Yep. It's the only language they all understand. They're like fucking puppies. Except they aren't fucking cute. ICK PAH!

Lady says she's used to male banter, and doesn't find it offensive. She says her husband wouldn't make a crack like the one that's caused some offense. Fair enough. Would she divorce him if he did??

The OP is five dates in, so that's not comparable

That's sounds like 'no'. So it's not a deal breaker?

Is that directed at me? I'm single AF and can barely tolerate the majority of human beings, so it's not relevant to me at all!

Not directed at anyone, nor intended to cause offense or be provocative. Just offering, respectfully I hope, a different perspective. No right or wrong in these matters of personal values. This post was added after a comment about the number of dates, and has maybe got jumbled.

Don’t know any men like this. My husband is the opposite. Sorry your world is like this though. Genuinely.

Nah, this is shit. That first one was fucking brilliant. Male energy and all that. Do that, that was funny.

“Male energy is enormously valuable”? And they “mustn’t be bullied by their women folk”? FFS! 1950 called and they’d like you back, immediately. I mean, your attitude was shit back then too, but it really doesn’t belong in 2026.

I Just read this to my DH and he burst out laughing. For goodness sake if this man is actually a misogynist and it’s taken you 5 dates to work that out then something is amiss. It’s a joke, crude and a bit silly but surely the context of all your other dates matters otherwise why have you been on five dates with him? I think the comments writing this guy off are ridiculous

It was a parody. I laughed my bum off.

I couldn’t get past that. Way too familiar and not even funny.

Surely it depends on the previous dates? Has there been banter? Smutty jokes etc.
If not then I can see why it shocked you

What is up with the 'freshen up' being seen as vulgar? I'm American, and that is seen as completely innocent and acceptable. Is there some other interpretation in Britain? I've seen at least 2 posts objecting to the phrase.

5 dates in and just slept with her, still on good behaviour terms to me, not making manky jokes about her dirty vagina. How would he like it if he joked about his dirty dick? Though he’d probably like that. She’s said it gives her the ick.

I am 55. And didn’t tolerate crude unamusing misogyny in my younger years, or now. I have always had high standards and no regrets. That’s how I ended up with a decent man.

What absolute twaddle. 🥱

Oh well, @ThisKookyExpert, if your DH found it funny, the rest of us must be wrong 🤔😂

Push and pull. See what happens😉

I have a friend who calls pork pies growlers , it really changes the tone of the conversation

I dunno, I am on the fence.

I would find that really funny, in an Afterlife-esque way. These are the exact kind of jokes DH and I share (married for.30 years). My DH would say something like that to me and I would retort in a funny way (something like it's my growler and I will send it to the parlor when I please). So I wonder if he feels very comfortable already.

On the other hand after 5 dates, perhaps 15 hours of knowing you joking about smelly vulva is vulgar and a possible red flag.

I don't know any men like that. As far as I know none of my female friends are married to men like that.

This isn't a "NAMALT" but a Not All Women Have Low Standards When Picking A Man (NAWHLSWPAM)