Told someone I was pregnant today…

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

People say the strangest things

On my first child, when a neighbour found out I was pregnant (married, own our house, 2 working professionals) the first thing they said was "Oh I didn't know you were trying..."

😂 Just obscure things that ain't nobody's business haha

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

I had someone ask the same, and I was 39, with my DH since my teens, a homeowner and a fairly senior professional. I pointed out that if it had been unplanned I’d be having a termination, not making pregnancy announcements and that in neither case would it be any of her business.

“Yes, we’ve been going bareback for a while now”

That soon shuts them up

That is strange. Clearly it's not polite for anyone to ask that (unless they're your doctor or midwife perhaps), but asking a married 33-year-old does seem bizarre. I had two children in my early 30s (also married and a homeowner) and not a single person asked me if it was planned or assumed either pregnancy was anything other than good news, even though I (deliberately) had a very small age gap. Did you get any sense as to what their agenda was, OP? Was it someone who doesn't like you?

We have a winner!

FFS! You poor soul.

Ummm, I was 27, had bought a home, full time job, married for two years and was asked the exact same question…by my mother in law. That baby is now 36 and my MIL died years ago, but I’ve never forgotten it.

Suffice to say, she wasn’t a fan of mine. She didn’t have a close relationship with her grandchildren, partly as a result. It was her loss.

Surprisingly, I ended up being her favourite daughter in law (there were three of us).

It is an odd response, but some people are odd.

Tell them you slipped and fell on a raw one

Should have told her it was FIL !

I told someone I was pregnant once and they said “is that a good thing?” err yeah wouldnt be telling you if it wasn’t 😕

I don't see anything wrong with this its just figuring out whether it's something to celebrate or to reassure you about

😂😂
Perfect response!!

@BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw I had the same. I was mid 20s married 2 years own home and a colleague asked if it was planned... eh yes! Werid!

Although i was with a friend once who was pregnant with twins and she was asked by another woman in our company if her twins were planned... (she had been ttc for ages) her reply was great "well one of them was"

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! 💐

I have multiple kids very close in age and get asked: “Do they all have the same Dad?” 😆

It’s always men who ask - never had this from a woman. I’m early 40s, middle class, well educated professional, own my own house and look quite boring. (Not saying Mums with kids by multiple partners look wild and aren’t professionals but I’m just throwing this in for the sake of those who judge by appearance- I don’t.)

I was married for 6 months and my micro manager asked if it was wanted when I disclosed my pregnancy. I imagine my face didn't convey extreme happiness as I had been dreading telling him.

It's one of those common questions, a simple yes or no.

A little bit, yeah. If they knew your circumstances.

But if you'd never spoken of wanting kids to them before they may have genuinely thought you'd chosen not to. Not everyone married and aged 33 does want them.

I hope you just happily replied that it was (presumably) and didn't let it offend you.

Was she trying to (awkwardly) ask if you were happy about the news?

completely clutching at non-existant straws

Congratulations btw!

I feel like I might say this by accident to a good friend without thinking because if I was pregnant it would very much be unplanned (despite being married and a proper adult - so I've never been in the headspace of wanting to get pregnant intentionally and therefore my only experience is the 'oh fuck I need to test' panic) and I would be thinking with myself in mind, but I'd immediately follow up with being very pleased for you!

OP was the person who said it to you young? I remember saying this to someone when I was in my early twenties and now cringe about it in my fifties! It was a work colleague I was pretty close to and she already had two kids and seemed stressed-a lot! When she told me she was pregnant with her third I just blurted it out. Why the fuck did I say that? What a complete idiot! Now I’m a mum and more mature I of course wouldn’t dream of asking someone this. I really have form for putting my foot in it. I don’t engage my brain before I speak!

I had someone at work ask me the same. I was married, own home etc, and already had a 2 year old. I said of course. It then transpired that he’d got 2 women pregnant at the same time (at the same time I was pregnant), so I’m guessing it was more about him than me!!

This happened to me at work, with my second DC, and the person asking the question was someone in HR!! It was later used as an example in a training session of things not to say 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh i had a tesco cashier ask me this!!

Ive been going in there for years once a week and i get that customers and cashiers recognise each other and chat a bit of small talk. How are you? When's your holiday? Enjoying half term ect ect

But one day this cashier woman said bla bla bla about the weather and then how olds your youngest now? and i said 8 or what ever it was <packing bag packing bag>

... and then she said 'you've got 4 yes?

yes.

Have they all got the same dad?

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

I did a gold fish impression i swear! Opened and closed my mouth a few times and then said sweetly no actually - i'm twice married. And paid and hurried off. Rude!

I avoid her till now.

Nowt as queer as folk as the saying goes! Expect more weirdness from people throughout the pregnancy, folk can't help themselves imo.