Told someone I was pregnant today…

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

Perfectly innocent question IMO, OP. They’re just being nice - was it a surprise for you, etc. No agenda.

Oh, I’ve done this. I was just really surprised, I think. We worked in the kind of corporate environment where women are super quiet about any desire to reproduce. I’m mortified now, but she took it in her stride and was perfectly pleasant about it.

Nothing wrong with that either IMO. I’d have laughed and asked what made her think that. I wouldn’t have assumed negative intent at all but just someone with a picture in their mind of me many years ago perhaps.

I found comments towards my pregnancies the weirdest ever, it was wild. People can be very strange.

You may be writing about me.

S is that you?! 🤣

Tell you why I asked that question though...

It was a joyful surprise (to me) and my initial WOW made me consciously think about my words thanks to a previous experience - because I once said "oh what a lovely surprise!" (Surprise to me) and was told off for being offensive as they'd been trying for years. So it just came out randomly as "ahh such lovely news. was it planned?"

Sad world really, when you can't just be happy or honest but be afraid of offending people.

I might just say "well done" in future lol 🙈

Hilarious. Did you get on?

Wow

Please bring back the laughing emoji. Not at the poster, but at the proposterousness of the post content.

OMG @cuckoolodger - what did you say? I would imagine you were speechless. If ever there was a WTAF moment, this is a dictionary definition.

I assumed it was a (poor taste) joke…

I'd presume they were trying to say you were too old, which you're not and if have been annoyed. I had my first at 34 and second at 38, so I had a few comments.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Omg 😧 hilarious, what on earth did you both say?

This is how my FIL reacted when we told him… I was 31, my husband 35, married 5 years and together 10, own a house, etc. I was mad at him my entire pregnancy, and tbh I still get annoyed when I think about it.

My best friend asked me the same thing when I told her 😂 I was 31, married almost a year, homeowner. It wasn't about that, it was because she was so surprised that I hadn't told her that we were trying and I hadn't mentioned anything about seeming keen to conceive when we got married. Funny though!

The worst comment I had (but also not said with any bad intention) was from one of my students, year 9. She asked how many months pregnant I was, I said hmm I'm 21 weeks so about five months. She said "hmm so it's too late for you to get an abortion then...?"

Bless her the class rounded on her asking what she meant, she was going "no miss I didn't mean it like that!" Turned out they'd just been learning about abortion in R.E. and what the legal cut off is. I just explained it to her 😂 no harm done, she was learning!

Exactly this! A perfectly reasonable, sensitive response imo. Many assumptions on here by pp assuming that a married woman in a good job with a partner must be in want of a child...to paraphrase Jane Austen

I think a 14 year old can be forgiven for that - my 32 year old friend to our other friend less so! I think the conversation went something like this:

• Me: How far along is [friend’s wife] now?
• About 24 weeks
• Me: oh that’s a big milestone! (Meaning viability)
• Other friend: oh shit yeah you have to go through with it now don’t you? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Omg!

Omg!!!

But you wouldn’t be telling people if you hadn’t come to the conclusion that you wanted to have the baby and therefore it is irrelevant whether or not it was officially “planned” because it’s being presented to you as a cause for celebration

I haven't seen those posts tbf but I don't think it's that every married home-owning woman must want to have a baby, it's more that you're not a teen mum in a vulnerable situation so is it such a shocker?

When I told someone I was pregnant she said 'Oh God! I'd cut my throat if I was you'. Granted I was 42 but it seemed quite a negative response.

I found out I was pregnant at 18 whilst in 6th form. I went to tell the head of 6th form and she said 'congratulations was it planned?' Ah yeah I was just getting ready to go to uni now Im going to change nappies whilst I do it! (Still went to uni 2 1/2 months after giving birth).

If you were worried, confused, distrsaught you may well be telling people. Seeking advice, comfort...whatever

😂😂😂😂 same thing happened to me. I remember telling my colleagues when I was about 16 weeks and one looked at me and said "was it planned?". I had just got married 6 months previously.... you have to laugh

I think that would shut anybody up tbh.
Not a great expression too much information.

Yes, that’s the point though, isn’t it? If you ask personal & inappropriate questions then don’t be surprised by the answers.