Told someone I was pregnant today…

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

I had a neighbour who told me she was pregnant as we walked home from school with our kids . Hers were 8 and 5 then . I asked I thought gently if she was OK with that . She burst out crying and said I was the only one who realised that it might not be planned or expected. We had a cup of tea , she calmed down and said it was such a shock to her that she didn't know what to do. She decided to keep her pregnancy and was happy with her decision.

I had my first at 23 (unmarried at the time, married now!) We had our own home, full time jobs etc....no one asked me if I had planned my pregnancy (I had!). I must just have one of those faces 🤣

The response I had was “so, you’ve had sex then”

Wasn’t quite sure what to do with that!

“ Oh please accept our sincerest apologies for not being loud enough”. 🤣

Was you a teen mum

😂
I might start asking that at every pregnancy announcement.

She’s not a close friend - I wouldn’t have told her if I weren’t keeping it!

I asked the same when a married friend told me, how they felt about it wasn't clear. I weren't sure if I should say congratulations or ask how they feel about it.

Congratulations! lovely news! Do you have any suspicions if you’re having a lad or lass?

Once you have more than 2 kids you only ever get asked, “do you not have a telly in your house?”

One very odd woman who I used to go to school with - and saw in passing 3-4 times a year,) was shocked when I said I was pregnant - at almost 30, and after being married several years, and owning my own home, because it meant that I had had SEX! 😱

She was a 28 year old virgin who had never had a boyfriend (just a couple of lads she dated for about 6 and 9 months in her early 20s who she never had sex with,) and she was literally gobsmacked that I had had sex.

I was nearly 30! 😆 (And married!)

I also got several people, including one of my parents neighbours, and a cousin of mine - who were like 'ha ha ha I can't wait to see YOU with a baby!'

I was like and I thought 'what the fuck is that supposed to mean?' I was fine 'with a baby' (indeed, with two as I had a second one a year or so later,) and I was/am certainly a better parent than they ever were.

tl;dr I also got asked if the baby was planned - both times - by 4 or 5 different people! Never got asked if the baby daddy was the same though. It was the mid 1990s though, maybe it's different now.

.

I was apprehensive about telling my mum I was having my second .. I was married. House etc.

she was on form. She asked if I was happy about it. I said yes, very. She said … your brother has got a flat. Not much more to say there!

first daughter was 20 at the time (same dad). His mum said .. you always said you’d wait till Sarah was old enough to help before you had another one. Magic

I still remember the first time someone told me they were pregnant and didn’t seem horrified. I blurted out, ‘Are you going to keep it?’ And she was like yes, what’s wrong with you? A sign I was grown up!

I agree it often comes from a place of naivety and not knowing what to say.

i also got asked this by a younger colleague. I was 35, recently married and a bit bored at work- the 3 key reasons anyone decides it’s time to have a baby!

i think that it’s partly awkwardness, and partly because if they are early 20’s and a friend told them this, then it would almost certainly be unplanned!

to paraphrase a mumsnet trope- ‘Congratulations’ is a full sentence.

Meant first daughter was 10.

I was pregnant with my second whilst out pushing my 1st in his pram and saw a woman i previously worked with very briefly ,she asked me if it was by the same father 😂

The partner of my DH’s relative

Not young - older than me!

I once had a shop assistant ask whether I was hoping for a positive or negative on the test I was buying. That felt a bit intrusive 😬

When SIL told MIL she was going to be a Granny for the first time, her first words were "how did that happen?".

MIL was a Midwife and SIL had been married to her son for about 4 years by that point. MIL eventually decided it would be great if she delivered the baby, naturally SIL was horrified and nearly emigrated to Australia 😆.

Basically you will find that people say the weirdest shite, that you would never dream of, because you have self awareness.

Someone asked me in a pissed off way if ‘I was still pregnant’…errr yes.
‘Who ate all the pies’…I mean
And those are the two I remember - there were more but I have blanked them now 😂

I had male senior ask this when I was pregnant with my first. He did follow it up with “none of my 4 were” though 😂

I was asked the very same thing on my third pregnancy, by a nosy bint.

She actually came across the hall at a Cubs thing we were at and said "my husband and I can't figure out are you pregnant or have put on weight?" I confirmed I was indeed pregnant with a shocked, aghast expression on my face. She then asked "was it planned?".
Again stunned, stupid expression on my face🙄, confirmed "it very much was and we were absolutely thrilled, thanks very much"🙄.
She promptly bussed off back to where her husband was sitting.
Both women on either side of me said WTF, and who was that?
I was furious with myself for not responding in a sharper way.
She had form for this and I was kicking myself.

However, we know lots of mutual people and I made a really funny, passive aggressive story out of it, which I repeated to quite a few, with a big smile on my face ....as in "isn't she just hilarious."
Their expressions reacted just as I intended.

Nothing hilarious about it at all, she was rude as fxxk.

A few months later I saw her, her face went puce and she thankfully ducked me.
My hope was that it got back to her.