Told someone I was pregnant today…

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

Bloody hell! I hope you was quick witted enough to say there was quite a list to get through but you was confident you could whittle that down to 5-10 suspects with a straight face.

beyond horrible thing to say but absolutely 😂😂😂😂

somebody hit a nerve

Awh I feel you OP.

I had 3 children by 26 with small age gaps and I have been asked a few questions I would never dare ask anybody else. Because it's rude in the first place and also, I don't actually believe most people ask those questions with good intentions, because how would the convo go after an honest answer that wasn't positive?!

I had a guy in the office ask me if my first was planned, fair enough but also awkward as we weren't friends.

It was quite awkward when I started my new job (I found out I was pregnant a few days after I interviewed and was offered and accepted the role), as people assumed it was my first at 26 when it was my third!

And after having 3, I have had acquaintances and total strangers making conversation and asking if they all had the same dad 😅 (Yes they do and we are still together).

I am so overly cautious when asking about pregnancy related things as I am aware so many struggle with fertility and lots of other things surrounding family planning, I could't imagine asking anything of the sort!

Um because it's a fucking rude thing to ask!!

Why is it, its a valid question.

Valid to who? Valid in what way?

Who's suggesting an abortion.?

But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

🤣🤣🤣 i always forget thats the norm in some places. Round here people would assume you're dropping your grandkid off

Because by the time you have got to the point of telling people outside of maybe a very close and trusted friend or relative, you have decided to go through with the pregnancy.

But you can equally decide to go through with an accidental pregnancy. Not all my kids were planned

The person questionning if they are 'keeping it' - what else does that mean?

You should have said no, I got carried away with the milkman, and ask them not to say anything.

Neither choice is s bad thing... but why is it necessary to ask? It's nobody's business. I would think it a very obscure question to ask anyone.

It means are you keeping it, are you having an abortion or are you placing them for adoption. Someone asking what their plans are is not suggesting abortion. You sound like one of those people who is to scared to ask someone if their suicidal as you think it will make them suddenly think to do it

My MIL said ‘oh what are you going to do?’

She did ring later to apologise.

Because these are the sort of conversations you have with family or friends who may need support

Oh, try being single by choice. A lot of people don't view you as a "proper adult".

If my family or friends indicated that they may be in need of support, or gave me the information themselves. I certainly would never dream of asking ANYONE if they are keeping their pregnancy. I genuinely find it very strange to even contemplate asking that.

I don't. I think its a really normal question unless they had mentioned before that they are thinking of having a baby. Which most of my family and friends did

I think people say it without thinkimg. I know a lesbian couple who were asked this question! Yes it was VERY planned!

But why would it be any of anyone else’s business?

The question 'are you keeping it' suggests to everyone, except you, that you are suggesting they shouldn't and they should have an abortion - otherwise it is the most bizarre question to ask - surpassed only by asking someone who gives a happy update about their life if they're going to kill themself
I don't think asking someone if they are keeping it will make them question whether they should in fact have an abortion - just question you and what is wrong with you to say something so nasty, rather than congratulations

Why is it your business?
If they are happily announding a pregnancy they are not considering an abortion