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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

767 replies

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 15:59

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

OP posts:
Pleasering · 11/06/2026 20:44

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 20:42

OMG!! Embarrassing, you do realise the ones that disagreed were doing the whole “look at the shit posted on the local FB page”, like we’re interested! Then sitting on their hands to not type “get a life” because they’ll ve identified, and labelled!

Pretty obvious when you think about it!

Pikachu150 · 11/06/2026 20:45

sittingonabeach · 11/06/2026 20:15

If this was a workplace would it be okay to make a lewd joke? Why does turning 18 make it okay for men to make lewd comments to women?

Edited

It's not a work place though and the soft play staff are not HR. Do people really need to explain to you why making that comment to an adult women (probably well over 18) is very different to making that comment to a child.

Peeandbuppycat · 11/06/2026 20:46

Oh poor you OP, so pure and innocent! My days, have you ever heard of nuance? The man clearly did nothing wrong and I am very critical of men in general. What if a woman said the same thing to you? Would it be acceptable to you then? You have massively overreacted.

Alliod40 · 11/06/2026 20:47

Stop the world i want to get off ffs can no one go out have a laugh now or is every man supposed to keep his eyes and mouth shut..it was a joke..do you remember them..why are people so uptight nowadays ??

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 20:47

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 20:44

Pretty obvious when you think about it!

I love a local FB group! The latest absolute outrage on ours was the introduction of food waste bins, the absolute rage and shock was unbelievable!

Eventually someone snapped and said FFS, they’re not obligatory, stop bloody moaning…… threatened with a ban.

Local FB posts are you moaning and outrage only…… not for critical thinkers!

Livpool · 11/06/2026 20:48

I wouldn’t have been offended - it was an awkward situation and he made a silly comment. PPs wanting him to be banned are ridiculous

Ponoka7 · 11/06/2026 20:49

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

The comment shouldn't have happened. It wasn't going to happen again and the venue weighed up having to tell children to leave, which they decided against because it could have escalated. You might find 'no adults on the frame' next time you go in, it's more trouble than it's worth. Your lack of attention didn't help.

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 20:50

takealettermsjones · 11/06/2026 17:08

Do you find that people around you tend to sigh a lot?

No. As I don't spend much time around misogynist pricks. No one I know likes to make sexual jokes to women they've never met.

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 20:51

Joking aside, I really hope the chap is OK after that encounter. It must have been excruciating to have been treated as some sort of deviant by the OP and then by the staff and something like that could really prey on the mind of a normal, respectable man and affect his confidence especially when going into similar environments again.

Thebigonesgetaway · 11/06/2026 20:52

Playcomment · 11/06/2026 20:14

It’s funny how the views I got on my local Facebook community page when I shared this last night differ to here. Most were outraged and concerned such a comment was made to me.

Wow you also posted it on Facebook ?

I guess you’re lucky as this is clearly unusual situation for you for a man to say something remotely sexual, so you’re telling as many people as possible and got all performative upset and ott about it.

To be clear he wasn’t cracking onto you, he wasn’t suggesting anything remotely sexual between you and him. it was just a stupid semi lewd off hand jokey comment due to what had occurred, it wasn’t even aimed at your arse In particular. More the scenario of what had occurred.

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 20:52

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 20:50

No. As I don't spend much time around misogynist pricks. No one I know likes to make sexual jokes to women they've never met.

Oh more name calling!

You’re a shining light of decency aren’t you!

Name calling more than once women that don’t agree with you!

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 20:56

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 20:50

No. As I don't spend much time around misogynist pricks. No one I know likes to make sexual jokes to women they've never met.

That would make most of the women on here misogynistic pricks then as we are all sighing at your bonkers viewpoint.

IwouldlikeanewTV · 11/06/2026 20:57

I would have felt embarrassed that a poor bloke had to get a close up of my fully clothed arse at a soft play. Op I think his comment was pretty tame considering it was your arse in his face.

ThreadGuardDog · 11/06/2026 21:00

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 20:50

No. As I don't spend much time around misogynist pricks. No one I know likes to make sexual jokes to women they've never met.

But he did ‘meet’ her. Butt first. Hence the joke. Unclench, you’ll find life much more enjoyable. We’re only here once, why look for misery ?

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 21:01

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 20:52

Oh more name calling!

You’re a shining light of decency aren’t you!

Name calling more than once women that don’t agree with you!

I'm saying that the sort of men who make unwanted sexual jokes are misogynistic pricks, and I don't spend time with them.

Funnily enough, I can have a great laugh about all kinds of crass things...but in the context of a relationship where we both know the joke is welcomed. Not to absolute strangers.

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 21:03

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 20:56

That would make most of the women on here misogynistic pricks then as we are all sighing at your bonkers viewpoint.

92% …. strange that… on a mostly female forum! 🤔

Its like they’ve got a strong opinion!

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 21:05

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 21:01

I'm saying that the sort of men who make unwanted sexual jokes are misogynistic pricks, and I don't spend time with them.

Funnily enough, I can have a great laugh about all kinds of crass things...but in the context of a relationship where we both know the joke is welcomed. Not to absolute strangers.

But they’re not all misogynistic pricks!

Id anticipate a large number of people stay well away from you, for fear of reprisal.

92% of the votes think OP is being unreasonable, do you think that says anything?

Calliopespa · 11/06/2026 21:06

Playcomment · 11/06/2026 20:14

It’s funny how the views I got on my local Facebook community page when I shared this last night differ to here. Most were outraged and concerned such a comment was made to me.

Ah but we're a crass lot.

KilkennyCats · 11/06/2026 21:08

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 21:01

I'm saying that the sort of men who make unwanted sexual jokes are misogynistic pricks, and I don't spend time with them.

Funnily enough, I can have a great laugh about all kinds of crass things...but in the context of a relationship where we both know the joke is welcomed. Not to absolute strangers.

Op all but sat on this guy’s head! Of course he was going to react in some way.
He didn’t just stroll up to her and make the joke out of a clear blue sky.

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 21:10

KilkennyCats · 11/06/2026 21:08

Op all but sat on this guy’s head! Of course he was going to react in some way.
He didn’t just stroll up to her and make the joke out of a clear blue sky.

Yeah bet he engineered that didn’t he, I mean he was loitering for hours waiting for an opportunity!

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 21:12

Pinkchickenwine · 11/06/2026 21:10

Yeah bet he engineered that didn’t he, I mean he was loitering for hours waiting for an opportunity!

Typical man. Probably not even his own kid, he hired it so he could look inconspicuous while plotting his perverted act

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 21:14

KilkennyCats · 11/06/2026 21:08

Op all but sat on this guy’s head! Of course he was going to react in some way.
He didn’t just stroll up to her and make the joke out of a clear blue sky.

A polite sorry on her part (which she gave), and a 'no worries' on his part, along with an awkward chuckle at the situation, is more what I'd expect. Not a joke about how if he'd known he'd get an arse to the face he'd have gone there months ago.

Pleasering · 11/06/2026 21:16

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 21:14

A polite sorry on her part (which she gave), and a 'no worries' on his part, along with an awkward chuckle at the situation, is more what I'd expect. Not a joke about how if he'd known he'd get an arse to the face he'd have gone there months ago.

Yours is very much the minority view on here though

Lunchtimehelp · 11/06/2026 21:16

I would have laughed, told my husband afterwards and he would have laughed too.

I'm sorry but I feel embarrassed for you that you went and told staff.
It was just a bit of banter. I'm not surprised no one is allowed to say anything these days. Peoples sense of humour has just gone these days. Sorry OP.

LoopyLoo1991 · 11/06/2026 21:16

Similar thing happened to me on the Tube once. It was fairly packed and me and my mates were traveling south after a night out at two bars. Carriage was swaying and lurched. Stumbled backwards arse first onto side of this guy's face!
I was mortified. My mates thought it was hilarious of course.
"I'm so sorry. Sorry sorry sorry!" I went as my mates hauled me upright.
"Nah it's alright, no harm done. Lovely little bum anyway." My friends just laughed harder and I went from embarrassment to oh my bum is lovely!?!🤩
Alcohol and laughter helped ease the situation.
I imagine some girls would have slapped the guy but that's a bit extreme imho.

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