To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

Or imagine if it was the other way round? Man puts arse in face of woman. She makes crude joke. Gets ejected out of soft play for it.

Another I’d have found it funny.

He didn’t make a fart joke. He chose to make a joke about paying £10 to have an arse in his face, which has sex work/stripper/only fans vibes.

Wow - you want a parent and his child/children evicted from a soft play area for a slightly risqué comment?

I know straight women who would make the dame joke to another woman. Somepeople are just looking to label anything misogony

In two minds. On the one hand.. it was a joke and I would have laughed because I can appreciate a good joke, but on the other hand... Some things are more important and I agree with you about addressing these comments appropriately.

I reckon the deciding factor is: was this a stranger? Sounds like it. And if so: why do men feel comfortable making these comments towards women they don't know anything about? Me: I can laugh 'and' chastise at the same time. Not everyone can or feels comfortable doing so or should even have to.

So, yeah I agree. As funny as it was, it needed addressing.

Think men need to start realising how intimidating just their presence alone can be due to size/strength, never mind when they're making sexually aggressive comments to strangers(!)

I agree. We’ve become so accustomed to these comments we think they’re tame. It’s not tame, it’s inappropriate and gross and he should have been asked to leave. It sends a message then. Hopefully he was embarrassed enough to rethink going forward.

Surely if you consider someone mentioning an arse in their face after you've put your arse in their face to be a 'sexually aggressive' comment, then the least you can do is be careful not to put your arse in someone's face in the first place. Because surely you'd worry that the person on the receiving end might interpret your behaviour as sexually aggressive? I'd imagine 92% of us don't live our lives like this, but you could at least try to be consistent.

Nope. It has woman coming down ladder and accidentally putting her arse in his face as he was coming up vibes. It was a joke, to lighten the embarrassment. If you’re associating the comment with sex work and strippers, that’s entirely on you.

@ThreadGuardDog so why did he mention paying for it?

Oh for goodness sake! It was an off the cuff remark, it’s really not that deep!

Your time is being wasted on this thread, you’re not making anyone change their minds etc, because it was a non event! Not even OP is coming back.

You must realise that 92% thinking OP is being unreasonable, says something?

Would HAVE,not would OF

Would HAVE, not would OF.

You should have a space after the comma and a full stop at the end of your sentence.

🤣

It still makes sense as a sentence.

Yours is just plain wrong.

Ragebait, yeah? Just in case not... Pretty sure you realise it was an honest mistake on the OP's part, in which case: don't understand your comment. Is it tongue-in-cheek? Can't tell.

My what is plain wrong?

I think your local community are an outlier then. Usually, Facebook comments are far more forgiving than mumsnet, especially when it comes to men and their behaviour. MN is often very negative towards men.

Your post actually made the mumsnet facebook page - you have 1300 comments there and I’ve not seen a single one that supports your point of view. They all think it’s funny, harmless, just a fairly mundane interaction.

It would be different if this man had approached you and made a sexual comment. He didn’t. The interaction happened because you failed to show any awareness of your surroundings, and instead of getting annoyed at you for climbing down on him, like many would, he just made a joke and moved on. Like you need to.