To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

But we’re all different aren’t we ? What’s the end game here ? That we’re all conditioned to respond in the same way and spontaneity is erased lest it cause offence ? So we all end up vanilla. What a depressing thought.

It’s really unfair on the staff to have to deal with awkward situations like that too. Definitely not in their job description or at their pay grade

Have you ever researched misandry ?

What OP did was accidental and she apologised. A sexual comment is deliberate.

It's bizarre that you don't see the difference.

Oh give over

Still funny though, from what she did to his quip. 😂

Of course I see the difference, but you don't get to decide how people react to your carelessness. He chose risque humour as a direct response to what happened, not as a random unsolicited comment. It's bizarre that you ignore the context.

I mean, this is now begging to be put on the oldpeoplefacebook subreddit 😂 As someone who works in comms, @Playcomment, I can promise you that if I wanted to farm outrage and horror for engagement, I’d definitely put it on Facebook.

I could put on a blurry photo of a supermarket receipt or some slightly poor parking on my local Facebook group and would get hundreds of people immediately responding to tell me that it was disgusting that supermarkets were price gouging or (as in the case this morning on my local group) that ‘some entitled electric vehicle driver’ ought to be tried at the Hague.

Meanwhile, here at the somewhat less histrionic part of the internet, you have a more normal result with your poll.

Edited as post was randomly cut off

You say we’re all
different, but 92% of us agree!

Sexual comments towards a stranger aren't appropriate, certainly not in a soft play. There's no excuse and OP didn't ask for it simply due to what happened.

Of course someone gets to decide that they don't want a sexual comment aimed towards them.

We all know that is exactly what happened here.

It wasn't a sexual comment at all. It was obviously someone trying to defuse an awkward, embarrassing situation which didn't necessarily land very well with the OP, so he apologised. In a sane world, that would be the end of it.

People are allowed to be slightly twatty in such situations, realise that and apologise for it. I'm sure every single person in the world has at some point said or done something a bit stupid, and said sorry for doing so.

I'm honestly bewildered by the attitudes on this thread. It's like we've fallen back into the sixties, where a sexual comment/joke towards a woman – in an entirely non-sexual context – was expected to be taken as a compliment and appreciated by the little lady.

These sorts of attitudes just help to support casual sexual harassment.

I disagree, it’s gone so far in the opposite direction that a slightly clumsy joke in an awkward moment can overreacted to and treated as sexual harassment

It was a joke. He obviously didn't set out to get your arse in his face so it wasn't premeditated and it sounds like he was awkwardly trying to laugh it off.

Very different comment!

He got an arse in his face. He then made a joke about arses in faces. If his comment is indisputably sexual then what happened before, even by accident, is also sexual. Clearly that's an absurd way to approach life, but ultimately if people take your view then the man should have immediately complained to the centre staff. Which would have been ridiculous.

Its dire isn't it. Imagine he had been "offended" by her shoving her arse in his face and reported her, I'm sure the thread would have very different replies on defense of poor OP.

If OP deliberately put her arse in his face then I would agree but she didn't. He didn't accidently make a sexual comment.

This thread has made it to FB by the way. There are some belting comments on there. 🤣

I'm coming with you.

There are mixed opinions on here as a woman in my late 40's I would have possibly found it amusing depending on how it was said and my mood. I guess we grew up at a time we would get wolfwhisltled from a building sight, so anything like that I would take it in a light hearted way. I think the next generation down wouldn't be used to things like that and that things are not accepted like years ago. I am interested to see age of the people making comments and of it's to do with being raised in a different time

Sexual comments towards a stranger aren't appropriate, certainly not in a soft play.
😂Aaah... just when I think I'm getting sick of MN a gem like this lands.

Of course someone gets to decide that they don't want a sexual comment aimed towards them.

What about a bum aimed towards them?

If she had shoved her bum in his face as a joke on purpose then it would be the same situation but she didn't. It was an accident and she apologised.

He was still in a state of trauma after encountering said bum, so he can’t be held accountable for his immediate response