AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

[Slv199]

I was with my exH for over 20 years and I’ve not had many sexual partners. I’m not sure about “condom etiquette” and it’s something not talked about.

My exH would always take the condom off and throw it in the bathroom bin. This is what I expect.

I’ve found my new partner just leaves it in the bed, which is gross and I worry my kids might find them. On other occasions I’ve found them inside me the next time I’ve gone to the loo. Which obviously leaves me worried I might get pregnant.

As I don’t have much experience I wondered what others think. AIBU to expect him to put the condom in the bin? Or at least tell me where he left it and definitely not leave it inside me!

What did I just read?! No, this is not normal, you know that. This man has no respect for you, what do you mean he leaves them in you or just lying in the bed?! This man does not need to be near you and your kids. I cannot fathom why being alone is a worse option than being with a slob pig that treats your vagina and bed like a bin. Where did you find this Prince?! Get rid.

Get a backbone!
this is DISGUSTING.

Have you not told him??
speak up!!!

Dump him. Now.

I brought the condoms they are standard size. His dick is bigger than my exH’s and he never had a problem with them so I don’t think it’s the size. I guess he’s either not withdrawing before he loses his erection or he’s stelthing.

Much, much better.

😡 Leaving it inside you does rather defeat the object of using it in the first place!
Do you seriously think it’s a good idea to continue having a relationship with this inconsiderate moron?
You’re worth better OP.

I found him on a Facebook dating group for single parents.

So 50/75% of the time he’s leaving the condom inside you?

Speaks volumes!

1. Morning after pill
2. Get rid of him
3. Pregnancy test
4. STI test

He has got to be doing this deliberately. Are you sure he hasn't slipped it off when he enters you? That would push it deeper into you.

You also said he had "only"left the condom inside you twice! That's most times then!

What’s wrong with wearing purple?

I'd wear nothing bar purple leisure suits and adopt 10 cats before I let some skank leave a condom inside my vag.

You really need higher self esteem and standards. If you really think your appearance is holding you back; then join a gym, order some weight loss medication and book an appointment at the hair dresser.

This genuinely turned my stomach 😱I have no other words other than move on sharpish

I can't even imagine how that might happen.

This!!!

I don’t understand. Is it kind of bunched up inside you or hanging out a bit like a female condom would? Never heard of this happening unless it broke and it’s pieces inside

Wtaf are you doing OP? Do you really value yourself so little?

Dump this disease of a man.

Can’t we stop victim blaming the op now?!

Seriously OP, don't have sex with him again. I'd be worried sick if someone left a condom inside me. If he's going to take care and use one, then it's odd he's not ensuring he's taking it out with him.

You can’t be that old if there’s a risk of pregnancy. And aside from that you need to value yourself so much more. You seriously believe you’re “ugly” and therefore the best you are worthy of is a horrible, lazy, dirty slob stealthing you, which is sexual assault? Please dump this idiot and seek some counselling and work on yourself.

Having had this happen to me once I can assure you it's possible- in my case we were drunk and he (presumably) lost his erection so it slipped off inside and neither of us noticed. It fell out of me the following day (tmi sorry).

Do you honestly think that being shagged by grim bastards like this is better? You don't need to punch down to feel better either. Respect - and self-respect - is more important, and old, fat and ugly people are worthy of love and being treated decently, sometimes by other old fat and ugly people who are also worthy of love.

This term isn't a catch-all that absolves women of all agency and responsibility, adding to their disempowerment. It's apt for many circumstances, but here it feels like OP is better recognising that she's not some passive shag for this guy and can and must advocate for herself and not stand for any of this in future.

Please put your new partner in the bin.

Nothing. It’s a poem. When I am old I shall wear purple.