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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

777 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

OP posts:
Canopop · 03/06/2026 13:53

Wankiest is a great word 🤣

SleeplessInWherever · 03/06/2026 13:53

Mine went to London over the bank holiday weekend.

35 degrees in Wembley Stadium and he’s wearing a long sleeve tshirt, jeans and hiking socks.

Enjoy your heatstroke, loser.

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:56

Canopop · 03/06/2026 13:53

Wankiest is a great word 🤣

Ha ha! Thanks 🤣 It felt very fitting lol

OP posts:
kwikfitt · 03/06/2026 13:57

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

😄😄😄

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:58

SleeplessInWherever · 03/06/2026 13:53

Mine went to London over the bank holiday weekend.

35 degrees in Wembley Stadium and he’s wearing a long sleeve tshirt, jeans and hiking socks.

Enjoy your heatstroke, loser.

Yikes! 🥵

OP posts:
Mumofyellows · 03/06/2026 13:59

Drop my 11yr daughter off and leave her outside the house in January without a house key knowing I was not home and an hour away, so he could go to the gym.

Roomonthe3rdfloor · 03/06/2026 14:00

Exist

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 14:01

Mumofyellows · 03/06/2026 13:59

Drop my 11yr daughter off and leave her outside the house in January without a house key knowing I was not home and an hour away, so he could go to the gym.

That’s awful!

OP posts:
Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 14:01

Roomonthe3rdfloor · 03/06/2026 14:00

Exist

🤣

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 03/06/2026 14:07

Roomonthe3rdfloor · 03/06/2026 14:00

Exist

This is exactly what I was going to say 😂 the best thing he ever did was drop dead😁

LovelifeHa · 03/06/2026 14:10

Blimey, mines the king of 'wanky' so the list is long indeed...

One standout was him pretending his car was a different model to the one it was i.e. calling a polo a golf. It was very obviously a polo and he just looked like a complete spanner.

His excuse was that in his country, they call them 'Golf's'. I was with him visiting his country when we hired a car. It was a Polo and oddly enough, it was called a 'polo'... 🙄

theallypallywasp · 03/06/2026 14:11

Get his mam to do his ironing (she used to let herself into his flat to do it while he was at work). Prick. I mean that's not the wankiest but it's the one that makes me think WHAT A LOSER the most 😁

queenofthewild · 03/06/2026 14:12

Banning his now wife from speaking to their children in her home language because it makes him feel left out.

this is a language he learned the basics of at school and is spoken widely in the country he now lives. Knobhead.

tripleginandtonic · 03/06/2026 14:14

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Was your ex Donald Trump?

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 03/06/2026 14:17

Took "his" lightbulbs when he moved out.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 03/06/2026 14:18

Sent me an email supposedly from his new partner, saying how well he was treating her, buying her a new car, how much he loved her, how nice their new house was.

I didn't reply (of course) but WANTED to play along and say something along the lines of 'If you're happy paying for a woman, crack on.' but I knew the best thing to do was ignore it.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 03/06/2026 14:20

This is very outing, so Hi Real Life Friends

Reversed his brand new shiny red penismobile into the bright yellow skip on my drive then expected me to take the blame and put in a claim on my insurance.

ThePlantPotter · 03/06/2026 14:21

When I broke up with him he tried to make me jealous by showing me a photo of his new girlfriend. It was a photo of Jennifer Lopez 😂.

Sesame2011 · 03/06/2026 14:21

We broke up in May 2020. Peak covid times. By July 2020 they had managed to get themselves into a new relationship with someone who lived over 300 miles away despite many warnings not to travel unless essential. They also didnt drive 🤔🤔🤔

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 14:25

LovelifeHa · 03/06/2026 14:10

Blimey, mines the king of 'wanky' so the list is long indeed...

One standout was him pretending his car was a different model to the one it was i.e. calling a polo a golf. It was very obviously a polo and he just looked like a complete spanner.

His excuse was that in his country, they call them 'Golf's'. I was with him visiting his country when we hired a car. It was a Polo and oddly enough, it was called a 'polo'... 🙄

What a knob! Btw I love the insult “spanner” 🤣

OP posts:
Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 14:25

ThePlantPotter · 03/06/2026 14:21

When I broke up with him he tried to make me jealous by showing me a photo of his new girlfriend. It was a photo of Jennifer Lopez 😂.

Omg what the hell 🤣

OP posts:
ChasingRainbow5 · 03/06/2026 14:27

I made chilli for dinner. I gave him a bit more rice than I gave myself, as I’d always give him more carbs. He felt I’d short changed him on the chilli, despite there being loads more in the pot which he was welcome to have.

After a ridiculous argument in which I calmly pointed this out, he went over to the kitchen counter to - I thought - top up his portion.

No.

No no.

He got the scales out of a drawer and, in the most pointless act of passive aggression I’ve ever seen, silently WEIGHED HIS DINNER.

As the whole stupid farcical argument was about the chilli to rice ratio and not the overall amount in the bowl, I completely ignored him.

Years later one of my friends will occasionally sigh and say “he weighed his dinner” with a wry little smile.

Devilsmommy · 03/06/2026 14:32

ChasingRainbow5 · 03/06/2026 14:27

I made chilli for dinner. I gave him a bit more rice than I gave myself, as I’d always give him more carbs. He felt I’d short changed him on the chilli, despite there being loads more in the pot which he was welcome to have.

After a ridiculous argument in which I calmly pointed this out, he went over to the kitchen counter to - I thought - top up his portion.

No.

No no.

He got the scales out of a drawer and, in the most pointless act of passive aggression I’ve ever seen, silently WEIGHED HIS DINNER.

As the whole stupid farcical argument was about the chilli to rice ratio and not the overall amount in the bowl, I completely ignored him.

Years later one of my friends will occasionally sigh and say “he weighed his dinner” with a wry little smile.

What a cock knocker 🤣 you look back and just despair at yourself don't you that you were ever so stupid to be with someone like them😅

honeylulu · 03/06/2026 14:34

The ex I'm thinking of was a musician and convinced he was destined to be a famous rock star. Not an awful person but a real manchild. Everything was about his "work" (music, he never got paid for it as far as I'm aware). He was astonished when I left him for a proper grown up.

We stayed indirectly in touch as we had uni friends in common.

He married a nice woman. When they were expecting their first child his parents (who had eventually become concerned about his manchild tendencies) thought he ought to learn to drive so he could take his wife to hospital etc. They gave him money for a course of driving lessons. He spent it on singing lessons to hone his rock star voice.

Esmeraldathe3rd · 03/06/2026 14:37

Sent me a screenshot of him chatting up a woman who was dressed as a baby, in a nappy with a dummy. While we had a baby together.

Gave DS birthday presents and then took them back off him because mummy wouldn't let him keep them.

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