What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Hahahah yeah it doesn’t really reflect well on me either, does it 😂

I was on relatively friendly terms with my ex, so when his DM got diagnosed with cancer I was happy to provide support over messages. (We’d been on-off for several years but I’d never met her).

One day he said he was taking his DM to the hospital for cancer treatment and would be there a while. He asked if I’d come and meet him there and give him a blow job to “cheer him up” while he was waiting.

Strangely, I refused. He thought I was most unreasonable. I also severed contact with him. Fucking ick, ick, ick.

My ex changed his social media profile picture to a selfie of his new girlfriend wearing lingerie. As you can imagine I was ever so jealous…

When our daughter told him at 15 that she didn't want to see him anymore as he always prioritised his social life and women and was always letting her down (he worked away 4 weeks on 4 off, often not seeing him for 6+ weeks and even then it would be just an hour lunch once) he replied "that's the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me". No apologies to dd, all about him as usual. He went into a complete huff and ditched all his family too. Utter cockwomble, none of us miss him, which is lucky as he's not been in touch once in the 2+ years since.

Years ago now but one came into my work place (retail) 5 past 9 in the morning to shop/show off I’m assuming the one night stand he’d met the night before. It was actually hysterical, first thing in the morning and she’s going the walk of shame with him, little mini skirt, makeup and hair a mess and him raising his eyebrows in my direction like I’m supposed to give a fuck.. Massive wanker.

Not quite as bad (but nearly), I was driving home and one of the kids asked "how much longer?". "About 10 mins" was my answer. We got home and twat DH announces "you were wrong, it was 11 minutes and 22 seconds". Arse.

Turned up to represent himself in court in an ill fitting suit wearing trainers with a briefcase 🤣

Kicked off at the same Court hearing because my solicitor had asked for a closed court for the hearing due to his new partners behaviour towards me and my daughter. Ex then screamed at me “I’m going to make (insert his new partners name here) DD’s new mummy”. That did NOT go down well with the judge.

Got a tattoo with DD’s name on it for her 5th birthday then proudly showed her it at his supervised contact, he didn’t get her any presents. I could write a book 🤣

My exh signed up to several dating sites as my mate told me. He said he drove a Mercedes..
He did indeed.
The work's van!!

When he left the family home (to move straight in with OW) he took the kids X box as 'he paid for it'.

I suppose at least he'll be good at singing lullabies?

Funny story: I have a friend who is the loveliest person ever but by her own admission cannot carry a tune in a bucket; tone deaf and just a really awful singing voice. She once tried to sing a lullaby to her baby and he took the dummy out of his mouth and put it in hers 🤣

Wanky ex... many years ago, but I had an old boyfriend who, after we split up, tried to hit on two of my friends at the same party without realising they were both lesbians and they ended up getting off with each other instead.

Blocked me on WhatsApp because I was being holier than thou apparently. This of course meant I couldn't tell him anything about the kids that required immediate attention. Which meant amongst other things that he missed out on a few important events. Haha

Made a huge fuss on the bus because of a bee. Shouting and screaming and waving his arms round. I was mortified and he was dumped. He said if I was stung I’d respond in the same way-I suggested I’d never been stung because I didn’t respond in that way. Knobhead.

(And no he wasn’t allergic).

After not hearing from him for months he sent me a picture of his new baby .... I can't have children.

My ex-husband had an affair and left. We reconciled (or so I thought) but one day I phoned him at work (this was pre-mobile phones) and was told by one of his colleagues that he was on annual leave for a week! He'd left for work dressed in his suit! That was the end for me. We had three children under 10 and he used a week of his annual leave to spend with the OW rather than his own kids.

Hid the anal lube he kept for his secret girlfriend in our kids Harry Potter trivia game box.

Not mine, but my friend’s told family court that she was a cutter and was ‘covered in scars’ - she had to strip at the doctors to prove it was untrue.

apparently she also starves herself, has hidden 50k (she has nothing because of his financial abuse) and takes drugs 🫣 not a single one of which is true…she is just a normal mum like most of the rest of us.

• Was doing a course and "was under tremendous pressure". I had a family wedding but he couldn't possibly allow me to go by myself, so he took out his laptop at the wedding meal and reception to study.
• Pretended to have lung cancer.

As far as I know they are still married but just had the one child. A baby and a manchild must have been quite enough work for the poor woman!

Haha love the story about baby putting his dummy in the mum's mouth to stop her singing! What a fab little communicator, bit blunt though!

That is grim

He had a certain 'designer' shirt he would always wear on a night out, he really thought he was God's gift whilst wearing it.
He was wearing said shirt one night when he came across a parked up Ferrari, obviously he just had to have someone take a photo of him leaning against it whilst looking extremely smug.
He's used that photo as his profile photo on social media and numerous dating sites.
Reality is he's a broke and jobless waste of space who lives with his mother.

Pmsl

Haha. He sounds familiar. I had a couple guys like that. 'im a musician'...erm not if you don't get paid you're not. And the only thing you know how to play is oasis songs?!!

Sooo many… one of my favourites was emailing me to let me know he’d jacked in his job (so would no longer be paying child support) so he could devote all his time to mining crypto. I got a succession of increasingly erratic emails from him bragging about how much money he was going to make, how rich he was going to be and how he didn’t feel it was “fair” to involve CMS in the future (once the money started to roll in) due to the percentage of income they take. And to avoid paying tax. Obviously, he didn’t want to share the wealth with the tax man either.
I resisted all the angry comebacks I really wanted to send him and just said that I would continue to go through CMS, and that it was a shame he didn’t want to share his future high income with our children. And left all his other emails unanswered.

BTW, he’s still got no job, made no money from crypto (or if he has he’s definitely not rich) maybe HMRC caught up with him after I rang CMS about it all and they passed on his details and he’s living with his elderly parents despite pushing 50.

My ex’s entire existence, presumably from birth til death.

I wish I was joking but even with a foot inside his coffin he was still being a dick. Unbelievable.

He was thinking about joining a band - literally thinking about it - that wasn’t even a real band, just an idea in his friend’s head.

Anyway. This didn’t stop him from looking me dead in the eye and saying, “are you going to be able to deal with it when lots of girls are in love with me because I’m the lead singer of the band?”

No prizes for guessing what became of the band 🤣