What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

@SleeplessInWherever well deserved for him!

Has he moved any mountains? 😁

My ex husband supposedly destroyed all my clothes when I left him. Funny thing.... I saw him wearing one of my t shirts 6 months later 🤣🤣

An ex from about 25 years ago:

We were on holiday in Washington DC (late 90s) and he decided to go into every music shop we passed to ask if they had any Aphex Twin. He had lots of Aphex Twin, he just wanted to educate the Americans on British music artists. They would generally look rather bemused and say no but they did have some Moby.

We were once sitting in my Mum’s kitchen and the drop leaf on her kitchen table collapsed and a couple of glasses smashed on the floor. He then SULKED because “it had been all hectic”.

After his bachelor’s degree, he went to work for his sister’s boyfriend’s firm and got fired for taking naps on the job.

I lent him quite a lot of money to do a Master’s and, while he was doing it, found him a bunch of graduate jobs to apply to once he was finished. I have no idea why he didn’t apply for any graduate jobs while he was doing his first degree.

Once we both had our first graduate jobs, he broke up with me a week before my first set of professional exams. Then rang me the day before my last exam to say that he really regretted it and wanted to come round. He was appalled when I said no and kept saying “What, I can’t come round AT ALL?!?”. He was really surprised when he said that he wanted to know if I would have him back, like, now and I said in that case, no, I’m not interested in getting back together.

You know what? I learnt a lot (mainly to spot red flags and general wankiness).

Tears rolling down my face at this one!

Friend of mine, her exDH found out that she was taking her kids to a particular hotel in a resort abroad and booked the exact holiday for him and the kids the week before she was due to go!

I'm sorry you came across such an asshole!

Your lovely dad knew exactly what he was doing 😂

Bravo 👏🏻

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf

You really think your dad shared that FB post 'by mistake'? I don't. Sounds like something I'd do accidentally on purpose (as an 'older person') and then claim "Whoopsie!! I'm such a Luddite!!".

I don't have any stories to match the ones being posted, my wanker ex was pretty boring. He did enjoy taking nude Polaroids (yes, I'm that old) of himself and then gazing at them lovingly.

this has to be the wankiest!!!

My ex jilted me for an older woman who looked like Nana Mouskouri - probably still does. Her dad was quite influential in the same field jobswise as ex. They finally married and the wanky thing is they called their daughter Octavia because she was the eighth grandchild in his illustrious FILs family. I don't think it got him anywhere

We used to do pick up and drop off at a petrol station..
stood waiting for us using his car bonnet for press ups as lunges
in tight Lycra
in front of the whole forecourt
the only exercise he did when we were together was to the fridge

(He was a very recent Oxford graduate.) He went to Oxford for the weekend and when he came back said, "I told a Proust joke and everybody laughed. That would never happen in London."

Utter twat.

'Cyber bullied by a pensioner and then ran away from him' oh my god thats got me 😆

@AcrossthePond55 I’m 50/50 on if it was an accident because honestly seeing him try and use the computer brings me to tears but he also is very much the type of person who would definitely do it intentionally.

Nude Polaroids is inane, was he at least good looking??

Oooooooh - I forgot. Once we were doing our graduate jobs, he decided that he would rather be a pilot. Only thing is that he needed to get a pilot’s licence which (at the time) was £5k for whatever the first rung was. So he said, I know, I’ll just do nothing for ten months, save £500 a month then I can do it.

Then he (and his family) looked shocked when I said “Well we have an issue. You owe me £4.5k from doing that Master’s. You could do nothing and have me paid back in nine months. At which he SULKED and said “Well I suppose I can’t be a pilot then”. I said it’s up to you but you need to pay me back.

Then we went to the bank and he set up a standing order to pay me £100 a month until it was paid back (he did pay the last £1,400 back in one lump sum).

While paying he sent me one email to ask if he could skip paying that month because he’d spent lots buying stuff for his flat. I said that he was older than me, earned more and it was up to him to manage his living expenses. If he skipped this month, he would have to pay £200 the next - or he could get a bank loan and pay me back all at once. Dickhead.

That is awful.

A vintage-revealing comment! 😂

I still cringe about this. ExH who had told me that he would not pay me anything for our DD because I was spoilt and would only spend it on food for both DD and I, sent her a cheque for her 2nd birthday signed LORD SURNAME. He had bought one of those wanky Lord of The Manor titles

Went on a trip to his home country to meet his family, etc. Halfway through the trip, he dumped me. Shit enough, but he then spent the remainder of the trip begging me to have sex 'one last time' as a perfect memory, the last time we would do it, blah blah blah. Strangely enough, I was able to resist.

My ex- (to whom I was never married) rang me up several years after we'd split to tell me he had just got engaged to a woman I'd never met (still haven't). Fine, whatever, good for him (though why tell me?), but he was in Brazil and it was 2 o'clock in the morning in London, plus I had an exam the next morning at 10. I was not amused.

He has been in the process of divorcing her for more than 5 years now, but she is stringing out the financial business, probably in the hope that he'll die.

😂😂😂

Posted too soon, we never had another penny from him, I remarried, to a wonderful man while His Lordship lives in squalor in a rundown seaside chalet😂

My ex-h booked a church wedding to the OW and a full reception for 60 people .... when we weren't divorced!

In the end the Decree Absolute came through about 6 or 7 days before the wedding.

Someone I know slightly divorced her husband after he had an affair. He went to court to deny her the ability to take the kids abroad. And, during the holidays, they both took them (on consecutive weeks) to Cornwall. When she suggested that she just drive them to wherever he was staying so they didn’t have to do the trip back home and then the trip back to Cornwall he refused. So they had to drive back from Cornwall to the Home Counties and then back to Cornwall the following day. In the middle of the summer holidays.