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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is Andy Burnham reasonable to say only a small minority of women object to men being in their toilets? YABU he's right, YANBU he's wrong *titled tweaked by MNHQ at OP's request*

1000 replies

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 20/05/2026 09:39

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15830845/Andy-Burnham-men-identify-women-use-female-toilets.html

'I don't think that's a majority view. I think it's a minority view and quite a small minority view, actually. But it is a view so you can't completely ignore it. Possibly they might be women who have experienced male violence at some point in their life. I don't know, that's one way of looking at it.'

Andy Burnham backs men who identify as female using women's toilets

The Greater Manchester mayor said the idea that single sex spaces like toilets should be protected for biological women was a 'minority view'.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15830845/Andy-Burnham-men-identify-women-use-female-toilets.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
BoeotianNightmare · 21/05/2026 22:12

Minority view... Yeah right 😒

Helleofabore · 21/05/2026 22:13

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 21/05/2026 22:10

I wouldn’t trust anything published in the National Helle. Absolute joke of a ‘paper’. The comments on their Facebook page covering the guidance publishing didn’t disappoint. For the bingo card - teams of trans men who we won’t be able to tell are actually female up close and personal coming to now scare us (where have they been up until now?!), genital policing at toilet doors, cis every other paragraph, an ‘I’ve got a gender neutral bathroom’ was chucked in for the win!

Plenty of sanity but it’s clear there still are ‘kind and inclusive’ (not to actual women though) ideology loons out there.

Thing is Wes, that poll is consistent with other polls around the world and in the UK.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 21/05/2026 22:24

Helleofabore · 21/05/2026 21:48

I am trying again with the links removed and putting just the names in the post. Transcrimeuk dot com has the details.

These are male people with transgender identities, abusing women in single sex provisions. These are on top of those mentioned by others.

Ivan Blidar

This one was found with multiple instances of abuse of women in single sex provisions

Jo White

And another

Kurtis Mawson

And these involved incidents in women’s toilets

Steven Ballantyne

Charlene Mallon

Joel Hardman

This these ones assaulted women in the women’s toilets

Ian Bullock

Mark Lazarus

These were just what I found quickly for the Uk

Reduxx below has an extensive database across the globe

https://reduxx.info

That’s why my reply got hidden, well done for pasting!

OP posts:
OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 21/05/2026 22:26

BoeotianNightmare · 21/05/2026 22:12

Minority view... Yeah right 😒

Which they've carefully never tested.

Hold a vote on it Wes, put your money where your mouth is. Add it to the poll forms at the next local elections. Except they won't because they know what the answer would be.

Helleofabore · 21/05/2026 22:30

Wolfpa · 21/05/2026 21:51

Where are these polls? A quick google search doesn’t come up with anything to suggest otherwise.

not naive we just don’t live our lives in fear, the only violence I have ever seen in bathrooms is women on women.

I also know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone which is something you don’t seem to realise about yourself.

The thing is that publicly accessible single sex provisions are separated by sex category of people. In the provision of these services and facilities, it is not considered a reasonable expectation to have 100% protection from harm. Only the expectation to reduce risk of harm to the minimum manageable.

Hence it is not considered reasonable for a female person to expect to be protected from potential attack from another female person. Because it is considered low risk and the risk of injury from a female on female attack is also lower than an attack from a male person. Usually it is greatly lower than from a post pubescent male.

If you would like the now numerous studies that should that in general a male person who has experienced any part of male puberty is considerably stronger than female people in general. And the Olympic committee also ruled that ALL male people with transgender identities are excluded from female sporting events based on physical advantage due to modelling that was done. Meaning even those male people who have had puberty suppressed are considered to have an advantage.

Hence all male people above the age of about 8-10 are excluded from female single sexual provisions.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 21/05/2026 22:31

Helleofabore · 21/05/2026 22:13

Thing is Wes, that poll is consistent with other polls around the world and in the UK.

I got to the 55% bit and thought ‘aye right! It’ll be much higher’. Then read on 😂.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 22:33

ThatCyanCat · 21/05/2026 10:00

Read the thread.

Exactly. It's not as if this hasn't been explained 80 billion times already. 🙄

ThatCyanCat · 21/05/2026 22:35

I also know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone which is something you don’t seem to realise about yourself.

If you realise you can't speak on behalf of everyone, why are you consenting to men in women's spaces on behalf of other women? And thus leaving many women without any appropriate option?

Tell us why additional mixed sex spaces, giving everyone two options instead of excluding women who can't share with men, aren't an acceptable solution.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 22:41

Imdunfer · 21/05/2026 09:41

You are short of imaginaton or experience of you have to ask that about a bloke in a dress using a loo with men lined up at urinals.

Well. I'm definitely short on experience of being a man either in a dress or not. But imagination? Cheap shot! Maybe ask men to try to imagine what it's like to be a woman forced to share single sex spaces with men. No? How about what it's like to be told that men are also women if they say so based on reductive stereotypes and a feeling in a man's head?
I'll start them off WE DON'T LIKE IT.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 22:47

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 21/05/2026 10:08

A surprising number of females think it's ok to wander in TBH.

Anyway, well aware it's not the same sort of power imbalance. But I still hate it.

Really? I can't imagine ever doing any such thing.

Please go back to saying "women" or "women and girls" rather than "females". "Females" has definite red pill manosphere pod caster vibes and I'm sure you don't mean it like that.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 21/05/2026 22:50

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 22:47

Really? I can't imagine ever doing any such thing.

Please go back to saying "women" or "women and girls" rather than "females". "Females" has definite red pill manosphere pod caster vibes and I'm sure you don't mean it like that.

Sorry I only mean it from the perspective woman has become, diluted, I don’t mean it like Quark from Deep Space 9.

OP posts:
Ihatetomatoes · 21/05/2026 22:56

mrshoho · 21/05/2026 10:00

Perhaps the TRAs could design one of them posters that we had to put up with telling the men how to deal with a man dressed as a woman in their toilets.

Something like this;

Men, if you see someone using these facilities who is dressed differently to you please follow these rules;

1)Be kind
2lDon't stare
3)Dont make assumptions
4)Mind your own business
5lThey are no risk to you and are more frightened of you than you are of them.
6)Go about your business without making any comment.

We hope that by following these rules, everyone can have a pleasant experience. Thank you!

Edited

This.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 22:58

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 21/05/2026 22:50

Sorry I only mean it from the perspective woman has become, diluted, I don’t mean it like Quark from Deep Space 9.

I know. 😊

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:06

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 21/05/2026 14:10

#Sadtimes.

Phillipson's having a bugger of a day too.

All the SEND parents have told her what they think of the DfE splashing vast amounts of cash on silly, tone deaf and foot in mouth videos with Gemma Collins instead of actually listening to them about their severely distressed children's educational needs. She's apparently told them they're all snobs for not 'joining in the fun'. Which of course has made things so much better.

They keep on telling everyone what to perceive and think and being baffled and cross that it goes down like a bucket of cold sick.

I saw one if them on FB. At first I thought it was an old skit with Dawn French in a blonde wig. Unfortunately it was far less entertaining than that would have been
#sadtimes indeed

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/05/2026 23:09

Wolfpa · 21/05/2026 21:51

Where are these polls? A quick google search doesn’t come up with anything to suggest otherwise.

not naive we just don’t live our lives in fear, the only violence I have ever seen in bathrooms is women on women.

I also know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone which is something you don’t seem to realise about yourself.

Perhaps it’s your googling at fault? Pretty easy to find.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:17

Imdunfer · 21/05/2026 19:03

Empathy is not a token you exchange for an empathy token from another person.

There are men involved in all this who had nothing to do with threats to or abuse of women who are affected by this too. They have been "done to" by Stonewall as much as women, gay and lesbian and bi people have.

Nothing to do with the threats except for benefiting from the climate of fear and intimidation created by the ones making them. Which is exactly why they never called it out. No innocents in this movement except the children.

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:27

MummyWillow1 · 21/05/2026 20:49

A trans woman isn’t a man.

I can guarantee a trans woman would not be at all interested in seeing what bits you have or assaulting you. Why are you so concerned with what they have?

If you can give me done meaningful statistics where a trans woman has abused a woman in a single sex space please come at me.

Have you been living in a pineapple under the sea?

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:34

RufustheFactualReindeer · 21/05/2026 21:00

please come at me

this isn’t the thunderdome 😳

Two men enter - all the women leave

ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:38

Wolfpa · 21/05/2026 21:51

Where are these polls? A quick google search doesn’t come up with anything to suggest otherwise.

not naive we just don’t live our lives in fear, the only violence I have ever seen in bathrooms is women on women.

I also know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone which is something you don’t seem to realise about yourself.

No. There's a difference between speaking FOR women and speaking on behalf of them.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/05/2026 23:38

Is it half term already or something?

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 21/05/2026 23:40

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/05/2026 23:38

Is it half term already or something?

I didn’t even know until like 5hours ago

And I had no idea about bank holiday monday

OP posts:
ElenOfTheWays · 21/05/2026 23:40

Wolfpa · 21/05/2026 21:51

Where are these polls? A quick google search doesn’t come up with anything to suggest otherwise.

not naive we just don’t live our lives in fear, the only violence I have ever seen in bathrooms is women on women.

I also know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone which is something you don’t seem to realise about yourself.

The polls are on this very thread. So... try reading it.

loislovesstewie · 22/05/2026 07:14

MummyWillow1 · 21/05/2026 20:49

A trans woman isn’t a man.

I can guarantee a trans woman would not be at all interested in seeing what bits you have or assaulting you. Why are you so concerned with what they have?

If you can give me done meaningful statistics where a trans woman has abused a woman in a single sex space please come at me.

I'm going to ask the question I always ask at this point.
What magic happens to turn a man into a woman? When does this happen? Could you enlighten me please?
Because men don't become women.

Imdunfer · 22/05/2026 07:55

Wearenotborg · 21/05/2026 22:08

Yes you did. You said anyone with a different point of view than yours was “small minded”.

I most definitely never said that anyone with a different point of view from my own is small minded.

And I did not call anyone small minded for objecting to the loss of their own boundaries. I would not do that because I do not think it is small minded to object to the loss of your own boundaries.

Helleofabore · 22/05/2026 07:56

MummyWillow1 · 21/05/2026 20:49

A trans woman isn’t a man.

I can guarantee a trans woman would not be at all interested in seeing what bits you have or assaulting you. Why are you so concerned with what they have?

If you can give me done meaningful statistics where a trans woman has abused a woman in a single sex space please come at me.

I am still surprised by this post.

mummywillow, do you mean to show such ignorance of the demographics of those male people with transgender identities? It seems that you, personally, have no idea that those male people have sexual orientations where some are heterosexual (as per the EA2010 definition), some are homosexual and some are bisexual. Either that or you are really quite prejudiced about who you consider to be transgender or not.

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