To expect people to be upfront with any ‘kinks’

[Laurennnworld]

This has happened twice now in recent relationships - the men I am with waiting many months to reveal ‘kinks’.

Now, I am not saying this should be revealed upfront on date 1, obviously not. But with my ex, he told me after 5 months. My current boyfriend, we are nearly 8 months in. He met my parents yesterday, we had a lovely afternoon with them and came back to mine to watch Eurovision. He then revealed something which he says he’d struggle to go without longer term. No judgement, but not really my thing. I could indulge it occasionally of course. But I wish he told me a few months ago when it would have been easier to cut things off.

Has anyone else experienced this? I am now in a conundrum.

What kind of fetish is non negotiable? I always understood people have fetishes in addition to their normal sexual appetite, not as something that replaces it entirely.

Does a woman wanting a rubber penis in her make her straight? If she is a lesbian would that make her ‘at least bi.’ ?

Dunno ask a lesbian x

Are you a gay man?

I'm a woman who is oppressed by men - and women are super oppressed by men as described in the OP

Who are lesbians oppressing?!?!

The only person mentioning oppression is you.

I know you want to change the subject after being caught out but if you want to answer any of my previous points feel free.

No?

Though not.

I won’t report 😘

Report if you want, I dont care, I've not said anything at all that I dont stand by and I haven't changed what i'm saying.

The man in the op is gay. I wish him well and encourage him to be open about who he is, rather than trying to force the poor op, and doubtless other women into a relationship. He's prayed on the op being an adult and wanting children. Thats what men like him do. Disgusting.

A man who does that = oppressive and misogynistic. And not at all bisexual. To be bi, you have to actually like women 😭

I already told you I want your posts to remain up so I’m not going to report x

You didn't say you want my posts to remain up, you said you wouldnt report, but i'm happy with this.

I have nothing to hide, and embrace men and gay men who like and respect women 🥰

I was clear when I said I won’t report your comments that I wanted your view to remain on the thread x

No you weren't.

But thats fine, my view will remain. Which is why i posted it 😬

They will remain up. Thats why I haven’t reported them.

Glad I could clear that up for you 😘

Clear what up? That you want my posts to remain? They can only be removed if they break talk guidelines. Which they dont. But cheers, boss of mumsnet 😭

Really sorry OP. There is a pattern in some of these things where people get you hooked (in this case meeting the parents) and then reveal their real selves.
I am a bit kinky and I think this is bullshit abusive behaviour! And sending someone a hidden link to force your kink on them is non-consensual so makes me think is he kinky or is he just a complete dick dressing his dick-ish-ness up in kink clothing.
So sorry this has happened to you!!

You were the one that said I wasn’t clear. Then I expanded to you I won’t report your comments and you seemed to understand.

Not sure why you are now acting like you don’t understand?

He has been very manipulative all through your relationship, he hid that he likes to be pegged until he had hooked you in and then told you after you had introduced him to your parents. Then he revealed his true self with the texts and url, you have dodged a bullet there!

Okay head of mumsnet, boss of aibu, my post will remain, thanks entirely to you

Not me, who posted it. And not the guidelines which you seem to think ive broken.

This has escalated from Report if you want, I dont care
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not really 😭😭 we're just going round in circles

Report dont report, its up to you, mumsnet boss, you decide who stays and who goes

You can stay 😀

Amazing, glad weve finally cleared this up.

Honestly, all this just because you failed to understand your comments about being penetrated by a plastic penis was wildly lesbian phobic x

Anyone who is taking such a risk with their partner should absolutely be shamed

this so called kink is shameful as its violent and the risk is so high

it shows how desensitised many have now become around such practices and this is down to porn. It wasn’t that long ago when a few famous people died through acting out such practices and vast majority thought wtf were they doing

no partner who respects their partners welfare would do this and I feel sorry for you friend but I would be telling her straight no one who truly cared about her would do this as it is never ever safe

Omg

Let go.

I stand by my point, and I am not lesbian phobic - members of the gay community have given so much to my people (avid tv watchers and gif users) - and even if they hadn't, I dont care what someone does with a dildo. I only care how men use women's kindness and open mindedness to oppress them.

Now, boss of mumsnet, do I need to keep repeating myself? I thought we were clear on where we stand

Me posting and you, head mn user, 'allowing me to'

Stop it you two!!!! 🤣🤣