To expect people to be upfront with any ‘kinks’

[Laurennnworld]

This has happened twice now in recent relationships - the men I am with waiting many months to reveal ‘kinks’.

Now, I am not saying this should be revealed upfront on date 1, obviously not. But with my ex, he told me after 5 months. My current boyfriend, we are nearly 8 months in. He met my parents yesterday, we had a lovely afternoon with them and came back to mine to watch Eurovision. He then revealed something which he says he’d struggle to go without longer term. No judgement, but not really my thing. I could indulge it occasionally of course. But I wish he told me a few months ago when it would have been easier to cut things off.

Has anyone else experienced this? I am now in a conundrum.

I never said she wasn't a woman

I said about the fantasy being played out

I'd be very, very concerned if he'd struggle to go without it.

My ex preferred doggy style, then he wanted to try butt plugs, then he was into pegging. Turned out he was bi and had been using me to act out his gay fantasies for nearly 20 years.

People can say it's a straight man's kink and I can tell you that you have no idea if it is or not.

Sounds very familiar. Put me off for a long time.

I would add to that people should feel shamed about wanting to be chock a partner, it is a violent and dangerous act, it is never ever safe

but another kink woman have been coerced into thinking is just a bit of fun and now often called breath play

Wow. What an utter pig. I have been with these boundary pushers , especially when younger, so glad he showed himself now.

Essentially he had a go at manipulating you into compliance and acceptance by telling you you’re old and that nobody will want a relationship with you and hence you will end up and die alone🙄🙄

And he is positioning himself as an authority qualified enough to give you unbiased (of course🙄) advice around broadening your mindset.

Because of course, there are plenty of women that want a manipulative patronising partner with a pegging fetish and a mistress to deliver that to him. They will be fighting each other over him. Riiiight🤣🤣

So now you know why all the exes are exes. If not for his concealed fetish, it will be because he is a patronising and trully an unpleasant specimen (when things don’t go his way).

If i were you i would tell my family the reason for the split. This is not your secret to carry, screw him.

Calling a straight man who's trying to coerce a woman into pegging a "closeted gay" is homophobic.

It isn't just gay people who are associated with anal, in fact many of them aren't interested in it for exactly the same reason as many women aren't..

So for women to automatically go EEERGH HES CLOSET GAY COS HE WANTS SOMETHING UP HIS ARSE is actually really fucking offensive.

This man isnt straight 😭

Theres nothing wrong with being gay, I dont know whats wrong with you, noone is eurghing

Theres everything wrong with a man being in the closet, trying to manipulate a kind woman into pegging him

I have yet to see strap on boobs and vulvas that men wear to play out a fantasy for woman but I am sure more open minded posters on here will be aware of them

I do not think a man is necessarily gay or bi if he wants a strap on used on him i do believe he is playing out a fantasy that is not about woman, if his partner is fine with that then that's all ok but I suspect many are just told it just feels good

and so often woman are coerced into these fun games that far more often about males fantasies

Red flag reply !!
U have done the best thing and do not change your sexual tastes for others u will find a lovely like minded decent respectful partner big hugs 🤗

given my age I am really going to be limiting my options of who would be in a relationship with me longer term

What a bitchy thing to say

Having read his response - you have absolutely dodged a bullet. What a loser! Hope you soon feel that way too.

Frankly a single life would be massively more appealing than putting up with shit like that.

it may not be to MN's taste but it remains true that some women whole heartedly enjoy pegging, some women whole heartedly enjoy anal sex, men do not need to be either gay or bi to enjoy anal, and not all kinky people are like this frankly astonishing individual OP has met.

So he said his ‘advice’ to me would be to be broader minded.

My advice to him is to tell women he likes it up the arse before the first date!

Tell all your friends the reason you dumped him… you could use a laugh.

Hi, I’m John,
I like movies, long country walks, and pegging.

😂

🤣

I think he very much kept his true nature hidden.
The timing is highly manipulative.
You are well out of it.

From your experience I think cards on the table much earlier on might be wise.

I certainly wouldn't believe that the majority of women would be enthusiastically keen, why else would he be so manipulative in the way he dropped this.

Yuk. Get rid sooner than later, I'd throw him back.

He might not have done it with his ex's. It might be a new idea and that's why he's waited until now. I assume it's anal. Saying he can't go without is weird as he has for several months quite happily

Priceless 😂

I doubt he's "done without it" for more than a day or two!

I said why. There is nothing to suggest this man is sexually attracted to men. You are reducing same sex relationships to one sex act.

The man that wants to be pegged by a rubber penis?

The man who thinks so little of women that he thinks its alright to manipulate them into giving him a family? (No doubt after which he'll suddenly realise his sexuality - we see it so much on mn!)

Closeted misogynist. End of for me.