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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop covering my husband when he runs out of money?

302 replies

Burgundyflower · 06/04/2026 22:41

Hi there, slightly frustrated and just need some other point of views. So my husband and I distribute household bills - he sends me his share of the rent and I basically pay all the main household bills/subscriptions like council tax, water, gas/electric, broadband, TV, etc as well as my share of the rent and whatever other bits of bobs/loans. He earns a little more than me - aside from his share of the rent, he pays his car insurance, car finance, road tax, one loan repayment and is currently paying back a relative and he’s nearly finished. He also pays for petrol sometimes weekly sometimes fortnightly depending on how frequently he’s used the car. He’ll usually cover the groceries after being paid. Somehow he’s then always left with nothing very soon after payday and whatever he does have left he uses for gambling. I’m quite budget conscious and track my spending so I’m usually left with a reasonable amount after bills are paid. He usually asks me for money frequently and I don’t usually pay much attention to how much I’m giving until I realise that I completely run out - it’s gotten to the point where we’ve both run out and had not even enough for a pint of milk or toilet roll. I decided enough is enough and said I can’t keep covering him when he’s running out of money despite me covering all the main bills and he has to either start earning more or get better at budgeting. It’s hard because obviously it feels mean but his spending needs to be more structured.

OP posts:
FioFioSILK · 06/07/2026 15:09

Check his apps for gambling and his bank account. Does he owe the relative for gambling debts. There's a third person in your relationship. It's you or the addiction. What would happen if you stopped giving him money ? Aggression or violence or control. Or are you worried he'd leave you then you wouldn't manage alone? Do you have kids? Get some professional support.

Draytoncb · 06/07/2026 18:52

Gambling is worse than alcoholism. A woman I know once lost a house because of it. I had bought her the house. ...

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