Someone hit my car nearly 2 weeks ago.

[NewPlumCat]

Hi,
Someone ran their car into the back of me when I was stationary at the traffic which were red. The person said he got distracted by the passengers in the back and said, its just an accident. I was really upset and was trembling with shock and said, well you nearly killed me. He called the emergency service for me and I called the police. My car was totally smashed up from behind. The emergency services came and examined me and took me to A&E where I had scans done and the doctors said I've suffered muscular injury. The man admitted liability to his insurance and I have been given a courtesy car which I haven't drove for nearly 2 weeks. I am going through extreme shock and distress imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios as I've never been hit like this in the 25 years of driving and now can't ever imagine ever getting into a car again and driving because I keep thinking it will happen again and this time it will kill me.
My car has been deemed as a total loss. I need some advice?

Sorry this happened to you OP. Are you looking for advice on the legal aspect or the trauma aspect? 💐

What advice do you need?

Your insurance company will sort out the car side of things. Sounds like everyone did the right thing at the time. Maybe get some counselling if you’re struggling, sooner you get back ‘on the horse’ the better

What advice are you looking for? He admitted liability, and you will be compensated for your car. What other advice do you need?

It happens, he's admitted liability, you've got a courtesy car, it's your choice not to drive and you've only got achy muscles. It's sounds like a pretty straightforward situation.

I've been rear ended several times and although it's a hassle and not particularly pleasant it's just part and parcel of life.

Oh and he definitely didn't nearly kill you!! Are you prone to overreacting about things?

I'm not sure what advice you want.

Any idea how fast he was going? Your car being totally smashed up isn’t an indication of how bad the accident was - cars are designed to absorb even a tiny impact rather than you. Maybe knowing the facts of the accident will help you feel better?

Advice about what? You had a shunt. The insurance companies are dealing with it.

What more is there to say?

I'd advise always going through your own insurers with any claim. Let them deal with the 3rd party.

The 3rd party insurers aren't working with your best interests. It's not clear how this is currently being dealt with but I certainly wouldn't be in direct contact with the 3rd party insurer. Let the experts at your own insurance company do all the heavy lifting on your behalf. You are paying them to work for you.

Well the best advice I was given was get back on the road ASAP, so I did within a couple of days.

Your insurance company will sort your car out.

As annoying as it is, it’s just a shunt. You wasn’t even nearly killed. It’s part of being on the road. You really need to get back behind the wheel. Stopping driving will close so many doors for you over something so minor.

Gently, it sounds like you are catastrophising. Being hit from behind is bound to be a bit of a shock, but unless this is a massive drip feed it doesn't sound like you were anywhere near in danger of being killed or even seriously injured. As you say, this has never happened to you before in 25 years of driving. That's because collisions are fairly rare and when they do happen are usually not serious. Cars are designed with crumple zones to absorb impacts so the damage from a shunt can look horrific but they look much worse than they they are and the strutcure of the car will have worked as intended to keep you safe. Replacing panels and bumpers is expensive to fix so a lot of cars will be deemed uneconomical to repair and written off, that doesn't necessarily speak to the severity of an accident. It's normal to be a bit nervous after a crash but your reaction seems extreme. I agree with PPs, the sooner you get back behind the wheel the easier it will be. Don't let one incident stop you from driving.

He didn't nearly kill you. You should seek therapy. I'm not sure how insurance works there; would his insurance pay for your therapy?

What advice do you need? Same thing happened to DH. He was stationary and someone who was distracted by his teens arguing ploughed straight into the back of him. Never had any accidents before. Suffered injuries. The police wanted to charge the other driver but DH didn’t want to go to court and they reprimanded the driver instead. Insurance paid out, we got another car. The end. That’s it. You just move on and forget about it.

I understand the shock OP, but try to see the positives. Your car did what it was engineered to do to keep you safe. Crumple zones are designed to absorb a lot of the energy of a collision and reduce the amount of and speed with which energy is transferred to the occupants. The reason you are not more badly hurt is because your car is "totally smashed up from behind." What is supposed happen in those circumstances did happen, everything worked as it should and you walked away with what sound like fairly minor physical injuries.
Your insurers will deal with the other drivers insurers and you should get an offer for your car fairly quickly if you haven't done so already. Once that's happened your car effectively belongs to the insurers and they are responsible for disposing of it etc. You shouldn't have to do anything.
You are obviously suffering psychologically after the accident and some type of therapy may be needed if it doesn't settle. It may be worth speaking to your doctor sooner rather than later as waiting lists can be long unfortunately, but they may say it is too soon to refer you as many people will find these kind of symptom resolve without any interventiin in a few weeks. Alternatively you may be able to get therapy funded privately as part of a personal injury claim. Do you have legal cover as part of your insurance? If so your insurers will put you in touch with a solicitor who will handle that. But be warned - it's not a quick process. I was injured in a crash 7 years ago and it took nearly 5 years to settle the injury claim. Admittedly it was complex as I had multiple injuries and needed a lot of operations so yours is unlikely to take that long, but it's not as simple as just finding a therapist of your choice and the insurance pays for it. In my experience, they'll arrange an independent assessment and then organise whatever treatment the assessor recommends. It was about 6 months before I got a psychological evaluation though once that was done they did sort out therapy quite quickly and it waa really helpful. Hopefully you won't need it but if things don't settle down for you it is worth pursuing as it really can help. The other thing I found useful was taking a few refresher driving lessons once I started driving again, though it was a long time before I was fit to drive again. You might not need that, but it's worth considering if problems persist. Being in a dual control car with a sympathetic driving instructor really helped me get my confidence back.
I know it probably feels like you will never be happy to drive again right now, but honestly, you will. Many people go through similar and worse and come out the other side and you can too. Just be a bit patient and seek professional help if things don't improve soon.

I'm looking for advice because I'm really traumatised. I can't ever drive again and I'm horrified someone will run into the back of my car again and this time it could even kill me.

I am traumatised and very distressed about this. I've never experienced anything as bad as this in the past 25 years. I'm in shock and can't ever see myself driving again. I would rather walk to places then be killed driving in a car.

You need to look at it this way, you’ve been driving for 25 years and this is the first time this has happened. That’s extremely small odds of it happening again.

Stop thinking about what could have been or what could come in the future and claim back your strength and independence and don’t let this beat you.

Worry about things as and when they happen because if not you’re wasting precious time and energy worrying about something that may never come.

If you let this anxiety win think of all the things you will miss out on in life by losing your independence. You’ve got this.

It's really difficult to even imagine getting back behind the wheel. I wish it was that easy as you are saying. I was stationary at the red red traffic lights and he ran into me from behind. It was a really bad hit from the back and my car was pushed forward and I was thrown forward and my head nearly hit the windscreen but I was very lucky that didn't happen. I thought i was going to have a heart attack as I was thrown forward. Something happened to my heart and chest and i thought i was going to die and I can still remember how extreme it was. I'm grateful to God for still being alive.

Any crash is a terrible shock, but cars these days are built in such a way that it requires a really significant impact to crumple the interior from a rear end shunt. The shell of the car is designed to crumple to absorb the impact.

A car would have to be going at colossal speed to cause a serious injury from such an accident.

Maybe book yourself a few sessions of therapy to help you put this in perspective.

It sounds like he was going quite fast then. I had an accident just two years ago at a roundabout where someone carried on going into the side of me even though I had right of way as I was going into Tesco. I kept on driving which is the best thing to do in that situation, the car was fixed and back on the road.

You have blown this way out of proportion. I don't think you should drive again if your reaction to an accident is this extreme! You were involved in a type of accident which occurs 100s of times every single day!

It is very shocking being in an accident. I had one in January and it really shook me up. I drove the following day and i was definitely more anxious and gripping the steering wheel tightly but as each day passed, i relaxed more. I forced myself to drive the road i had the accident on as soon as possible so it didn't become a barrier in my head. My car was written off and i have a new one and am back to loving driving as much as before, i just try not to dwell on what ifs because otherwise i wouldnt get out of bed in the morning! You sound like it has really affected you, you can self refer to steps to wellbeing via NHS for some support and to try and overcome your anxiety

@NewPlumCat I had something similar many years ago. I was very anxious for a couple of weeks (natural self preservation instincts). As you haven’t felt better I’d see my GP and explain how anxious you are - a few counselling sessions might help you feel better or they might even decide you need medication short term. Hope you start to feel better very soon.

Duplicate post

Whilst an unpleasant situation you are blowing this way way out of proportion. These types of shunts happen every day and whilst you'll be sore you'll recover, the car will be fixed.

Around 350 pedestrians are killed every year by being hit by motor vehicles. 6000 more are seriously injured. Nothing you do is risk free!