Someone hit my car nearly 2 weeks ago.

[NewPlumCat]

Hi,
Someone ran their car into the back of me when I was stationary at the traffic which were red. The person said he got distracted by the passengers in the back and said, its just an accident. I was really upset and was trembling with shock and said, well you nearly killed me. He called the emergency service for me and I called the police. My car was totally smashed up from behind. The emergency services came and examined me and took me to A&E where I had scans done and the doctors said I've suffered muscular injury. The man admitted liability to his insurance and I have been given a courtesy car which I haven't drove for nearly 2 weeks. I am going through extreme shock and distress imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios as I've never been hit like this in the 25 years of driving and now can't ever imagine ever getting into a car again and driving because I keep thinking it will happen again and this time it will kill me.
My car has been deemed as a total loss. I need some advice?

That's awful, I understand how you feel
You don’t, because your experience was totally different.

I got hit by a car when I was going to work on my bike. I could see the car coming but I couldn't get out of the way in time. It was terrifying. IIRC it took about 3 weeks for the nightmares to stop afterwards, maybe a bit longer to stop obsessing about the details of it all, so if your experience is anything like mine you are still in very early days. I hope all this does fade for you.
I wish I could have got back on the bike right away but it's a bit difficult when one leg is busted up.

Maybe because she's constantly over exaggerated the accident and is being a complete drama queen

The OP is calling her relatively minor incident a tragedy. THAT is what is unpleasant. Calling it that is grossly insulting to those of us have experienced grief or serious injury from RTCs. Can you honestly not see that?!

Of course she will be in shock and nervous about driving again. I don’t think anyone is belittling that. But to describe what she’s been through as a tragedy is not only exceptionally melodramatic, but upsetting to those who actually have experienced tragedies.

If you can't sympathise with soneone going through something so tragic, why are you commenting on my thread.

There's people here who have lost children, OP. Perspective.

Yeah op im sorry but. This.

I am really not.trying to be dismissive here but in 40 years of driving I have been driven into while stationary four times . Twice I have been rear ended while at lights. Once,.someone reversed into my car while I was stopped behind them and once a lorry pulled off at lights while next to me and was at such an angle that part of it swung out into my lane and managed to scrape alongside my still stationary car while it pulled off to go right at the roundabout.

The last was pretty scary as the lotry scrunched alongside my car door. It was going slowly but I had visions of being squashed by the thing. I beeped my horn and he stopped luckily. It was not a nice experience at all,.despite not being injured at all, though my car was a write off as a result. These things happen

Oh and I forgot the time i was on a roundabout and someone pulled onto the roundabout as I was exiting, hitting me on the passenger rear side causing me to end up end up on the grass verge at the side of the road. Again car written off

That was quite traumatic as my car narrowly missed a pedestrian who was on the side of the road and my son was sat in the back on the passenger side where my car was hit. Luckily we were both going quite slowly and miraculously noone was hurt

Op if you are traumatised and can't drive you will need to live your life with that restriction. What can I say? Otherwise you have to be brave and get in the car and drive again. Do your best not to think about it too much and get help if that proves impossible

Sometimes we have to just face the fear and do it anyway . You may need some help with it but you definitely can drive again if you want to enough

I think people are losing patience with the OP as she seems totally resistant to any of the sensible advice that posters, quite a few of whom have indeed had personal experience of being involved in RTCs, have given. People have explained that a number of the OP's beliefs about her accident are incorrect - and they must be, unless the laws of physics don't apply to her - but she seems totally resistant to reason. It's not unusual to misinterpret what happened during a traumatic experience but most people aren't insisting that those mistaken beliefs are fact many weeks after the event when they've been given logical explanations. Multiple people have advised the OP to seek therapy and refresher driving lessons and explained that the cost should be covered by the other party's insurance, but she's not responded to those suggestions.
The first post in this thread was made on 17th March, which by my calculations is 6 weeks ago today, meaning that the incident was nearly 2 months ago. It's quite understandable to feel sorry for yourself after you've had a bad experience. I certainly did my share of wallowing in self pity in my first few days in hospital. But ultimately, when something shit happens to you, you have to move on, get any professional help you need and start putting your life back together. Nobody is going to come along, wave a magic wand and make everything ok, you have to take some initiative.
Yes, some of the replies have been harsh but people are frustrated because the OP said she needed advice and she got it but here we are 6 weeks after the first post and she doesn't seem to have changed her stance at all. It looks like she just wants people to validate her belief that she had a near death experience and the only sensible response is to give up driving. People aren't going to do that because it's not true and not in the OP's best interests to say it is. I am sure it was a highly unpleasant experience, but not the end of the world. Well not unless the OP lets it be.

The majority of people on here have just given me criticism and have shown no sympathy and no,, I am not feeling sorry for myself and never have for your information. Thanks!

Being in an accident can be incredibly tough. I was run over 15yrs ago and although not badly hurt, it shook me for ages and I ended up on anti depressants for a while. I’d recommend you get some counselling. Not driving can lead to isolation and difficult later in life so i’d do all you can to try and tackle that.

There's people here who have lost children, OP. Perspective.

And you've just completely lost the argument @Locutus2000 by 'going there' with that absurdly emotive comment.

So by your logic, does that mean that people can't post in distress about anything other than child loss, because it would never meet your threshold of 'tragic'?

BTW I agree with you that the OP may have fallen prey to the usual and very typical word inflation on Mumsnet, where they used 'tragic' in a context which perhaps didn't merit it.

What I don't like however is how so many Mumsnetters on this thread and others, choose to taunt and frustrate the OP by excessively focusing on their language choices or their phrasing.

This thread could have been a reasonable one about a RTI. Instead it's become a pity party where people come in to explain just why the OP deserves no support, because there are road traffic and life incidents which are far worse.

No wonder the OP is riled a bit, no wonder others are piling in. It's just a shitshow really.

Then why bother posting in the first place. You had a minor bump. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

It wasn't a minor bump. How can you say that? You haven't even seen the damage. And why would I be making a mountain out of something very minor?! If it was minor why would I be reacting this way? I've been a driver for 25 years and have never reacted this way to other collisions I had years ago, but why to this particular one???!

You walked away, you’ve no lasting injuries, it was minor.

Why are you reacting this way? Health anxiety? Drama?

Oh so you've seen the damage to my car have you? What has health anxiety and drama got to do with this? Any person would be traumatised by this. If you haven't got anything nice to say, why are you posting hurtful comments on my thread?!

No, they wouldn’t be traumatised as you are!

They’d say “I’m fine”, the insurance company will
deal with the car.

You’ve been arguing this for about six weeks now, with people endlessly telling you the same.

@NewPlumCat and any other posters who haven’t come across this OP before (and I’m not usually one to connect threads but in this case it’s hugely relevant). You have debilitating health anxiety based on your numerous previous threads. This is just another manifestation. Please seek help and reconsider HRT. You would do so much better.

My previous posts have got nothing to do with this post. And no, i don't need HRT! Please don't post hurtful comments if you can't relate. If you post harsh and unpleasant comments, then you obviously haven't got empathy for other people going through traumatic experiences!

Different people react very differently to similar situations. You are clearly traumatised. I would do some EMDR therapy, which will hopefully resolve your trauma. It should not take many sessions.

Cars are designed to absorb the impact and that’s why they look so bad. They have crumple zones to increase your safety. If the vehicle wasn’t absorbing the impact you would have actually sustained a serious injury rather than the slight injury that you have experienced.

Your previous posts have everything to do with this post. They show a clear pattern that you’ve got a major issue that you need to deal with but you won’t. Instead you just want to keep repeating how terrible this incident was instead of dealing with your feelings about it and getting on with your life. It’s almost as if you like being the victim you’re playing.

They have everything to do with your current reaction!

I agree with the PP. I suffer with anxiety. I’m medicated and have done CBT. I know what to do when it kicks in. But my brain overreacts to even minor things at times. We had a message from the school about upcoming GCSE exams and I started to spiral and panic. The difference is between knowing it’s my brain misfiring and working to get past the issue. Or (doing what you are doing) leaning into the spiral, treating these anxious thoughts as gospel and making it all even worse than it was to start with.

Thank you @Wolfiefan -This is such an insightful post! Unfortunately, doubt op will listen as its obvious she does not recognise how extreme her levels of anxiety are. There is a big difference between state anxiety which is a passing reaction to events and trait anxiety which is more baked in to the personality of the person . It takes a lot to recognise this if you are the latter, and a lot of courage to get treatment. OP, whether you do CBT, EMDR or a combination of these, you will remain as you are now if you don't do something. And that would be sad, as it is still affecting your life so much.