Someone hit my car nearly 2 weeks ago.

[NewPlumCat]

Hi,
Someone ran their car into the back of me when I was stationary at the traffic which were red. The person said he got distracted by the passengers in the back and said, its just an accident. I was really upset and was trembling with shock and said, well you nearly killed me. He called the emergency service for me and I called the police. My car was totally smashed up from behind. The emergency services came and examined me and took me to A&E where I had scans done and the doctors said I've suffered muscular injury. The man admitted liability to his insurance and I have been given a courtesy car which I haven't drove for nearly 2 weeks. I am going through extreme shock and distress imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios as I've never been hit like this in the 25 years of driving and now can't ever imagine ever getting into a car again and driving because I keep thinking it will happen again and this time it will kill me.
My car has been deemed as a total loss. I need some advice?

People are still being quite rude here. OP says she was hit at around 40 mph which is in no way a shunt. I had a head on collision at 20-30mph and it’s shit me up. 10 to 20 mph more where op may not have seen him coming would absolutely be enough to cause fear or anxiety.

The point is that the OP has a posting history about anxiety / health anxiety - pre-existing before this incident.

Unlikely given that airbags are not really designed to deploy in a rear impact. They don't usually offer any additional protection over seatbelts in a rear impact and carry risks of their own.
The sensors detect the direction and strength of forces involved in a collision and the car "decides" on the risk vs benefits of deploying the airbag. Modern airbags are even better in so far as some systems will make an estimate of the driver's weight and height based on things like the seat position and the way the seatbelt has payed out, and decide at what speed to deploy the airbag thus minimising damage to smaller, lighter drivers. (Anyone who has ever been hit by an airbag will tell you that it is not like a big fluffy pillow!) It's clever stuff. But in the vast majority of cases an air bag won't deploy in a direct rear impact because it's not going to help. Having your head rest in the right position is more important in this type of crash.

Yeah - mine didn’t go off when I rolled my car over and over! As wasn’t head on.

Not to ruin their life though as they have proclaimed. Which is insulting to those who have been injured/lost in severe crashes

But it was nowhere near a near death experience. Good grief I’ve worked with police officers dealing with collisions for over 10 years and trust me I’ve seen it all. Children left unable to walk, I’ve spoken with the wife of a man who will never be the same again due to his catastrophic injuries when his vehicle was hit by a HGV plus more fatalities that you could imagine including a motorcycle crashing into a car that failed to give way at a roundabout resulting in the petrol tank setting on fire and both the driver and rider dying. Maybe go on bbc iplayer and watch the crash detectives, the follow one of the Welsh collision investigator teams and hopefully it will put your slight injury collision into perspective.

Thanks Carol!

@sanityisamyth

🤣🤣🤣

I’m not Carol, but I have used her and recommend her on any driving anxiety thread I come across.

genuinely changed my life 🙏🏻

Hello,
Can I please ask you what my other threads has got to do with this post???
How my car was hit by the driver would give anyone health anxiety. I wouldn't overreact to something which was a minor collision and I know very well what I'm talking about.

But how was it a near death experience when you only have muscular damage?

I assume your air bag went off?

@NewPlumCat

You’re still being super defensive and not taking on board what anyone is trying to say to you.

Because it might make you anxious about the next time you drove or when you went back to that road but it shouldn’t stop you driving totally
my friend was very nearly killed in a car accident (skin grafts, 56 operations, induced coma) and she is driving again. She was nervous for a while even as a passenger but worked to get her confidence back

Near death experience. Jesus.

Can you please tell me where have I been defensive? If you can't sympathise with soneone going through something so tragic, why are you commenting on my thread. It seems like you enjoy taking the mickey and all you've done is criticised me when I don't need it.
Please don't comment on my post again as you've clearly got time to cause people more distress i definitely don't need!

Being in a bad traffic accident does not give everyone health anxiety, OP. But it is pretty common for it to cause PTSD. You need therapy and to stop catastrophising (which may be the first thing you need your therapy to work on).

I've been in an accident that put me in hospital for a couple of weeks and out of a car for months. But I got driving again. And it's fine now, I don't panic at junctions (I was T-boned) and don't find driving any more stressful than I ever did. Therapy can make a huge difference if you go in wanting and expecting it to work and do the work involved in resetting your reactions.

You should be able to get private therapy paid for by the other driver's insurance.

Near death experiences don’t end in muscular damage.
the other threads are relevant as anxiety tends to make people catastrophise about situations in their head, jumping to the worse possible outcome and dwelling on things in this way.
was it bad you got musicular damage in a car shunt, yes that’s not a fun experience to go through, but you keep framing it as something so tragic and it’s taking over your life in a negative way.
@TheBossOfMe post was very helpful, being trapped in anxiety is miserable but there are ways of helping manage it and medicines to take.

Your answer here is super defensive. Absolutely nowhere am I “taking the mickey.”

I’ve purely pointed out that you’re so defensive to every poster who’s trying to point out the truth and Is saying this catastrophic over reaction could be linked to your menopause struggles.

You’re sounding like a broken record now and you need to actually take steps to try and fix this.

I am sorry you’re upset but what happened wasn’t tragic. No one died and you had muscular injuries.

I had a life changing accident. What you describe wasn’t that.

im not minimising your stress about it and your anxiety but it wasn’t tragic.

have you been to the gp and fold them how you’re feeling? They’ll be able to refer you for counselling and possibly also give you medication to help with the anxiety

He didn’t nearly kill you and the only person who can let it ‘destroy your life’ is you. You need therapy.

You need to get back in the car asap! Like today! If you don’t you never will! At 18 I was in a car accident and wrote off my mums car! Dad had a company car at the time and told me to drive it the next day or I’d most likely struggle to drive again!

Looking back he was brave not sure if let an 18 year old who’d just written another car off drive mine! He’s a brave man! 🤣 or stupid!!

I wouldn’t overreact to something which was a minor collision

…and yet that’s exactly what you have done.

The irony!

Not trying to belittle your experience as ive had similar and it was very frightening. A tragedy is someone losing their life in a car accident not suffering from a muscular injury. Yes it is traumatic for you but with some work it's entirely possible to work through your feelings and drive again. Ask your GP for support.

You have had an extreme trauma, the fear is natural. But you cannot let it overwhelming you.

You need to see your GP, they will advise you of what local therapy services are accessible in your area, they are usually self referrals, but you need to deal with it.

Ultimately in over 9000 days of driving you have had 1 accident, that is such a miniscule percentage of risk.

The reality is your chances of being killed crossing the street to catch the bus is higher than being killed in a car crash.

This level of anxiety is nit normal in the kindest way, seek help to deal with it.

Hi, @NewPlumCat . I understand how scary it was. I was in a head on crash that wrote my car off. Her fault, not mine. The other woman was cut out of her car by the fire service. We closed the road for hours with ambulances and police. I went to hospital and was fortunate to have only a burned arm from the air bag, and stiffness/soreness. I also slept from the shock. I have a scar on my arm now.

The thing is, the car did its job, it protected us (me and you) from serious injury. It was scary, and I felt powerless, nothing I did could have changed what happened.

There is risk in every element of life.
Walking alongside a road also carries risk.

After my accident I got straight back in the hire car and drove the road the accident happened on.

This is a choice you are making. You can make a different choice. I strongly recommend you get medication to help you work through this, because your life will be massively limited by this fear.