Someone hit my car nearly 2 weeks ago.

[NewPlumCat]

Hi,
Someone ran their car into the back of me when I was stationary at the traffic which were red. The person said he got distracted by the passengers in the back and said, its just an accident. I was really upset and was trembling with shock and said, well you nearly killed me. He called the emergency service for me and I called the police. My car was totally smashed up from behind. The emergency services came and examined me and took me to A&E where I had scans done and the doctors said I've suffered muscular injury. The man admitted liability to his insurance and I have been given a courtesy car which I haven't drove for nearly 2 weeks. I am going through extreme shock and distress imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios as I've never been hit like this in the 25 years of driving and now can't ever imagine ever getting into a car again and driving because I keep thinking it will happen again and this time it will kill me.
My car has been deemed as a total loss. I need some advice?

OK you feel you have had a "near death experience" and are suffering "severe trauma".

So what are you doing to address that trauma which you feel has ruined your life? Apart from declaring it is what it is, and that you'll quite clearly never drive again.

Many of us HAVE been rear ended. I was rear ended by a man in a white van, on his phone, who hadn't noticed I had slowed to a crawl with my indicator on to turn left into a very tight driveway. My car was written off because of the damage to the rear and the fact the impact pushed my car forward into a wall which damaged the front too. Yes I was shaken and literally shaking, I was angry and my head was running through the what ifs. The police attended, it was all quite dramatic at the time.

So many of us CAN relate and are still saying your reaction is disproportionate to the incident. You need professional therapy/counselling.

I was rear-ended by a drunk driver whilst stopped at traffic lights. Car was written off, he ended up in jail. My injuries were worse than yours, to the point where I received some (modest) compensation for them. I still glance in the rear view mirror if I ever stop at those lights, but that's the only long term impact. You are over-reacting - you'd have a lot more than 'muscle injury' if it was a near death experience. Contact your GP, your reaction is not normal.

Nonsense.

OP, I get you. It happened to me 2 years ago but I was lucky not to have any physical injuries. But mentally it is another story. I totally understood that nothing 'major' happened, it is only a car, no injuries, insurance paid, move on. But I am struggling to get behind the wheel unless it is absolutely necessary, would rather walk, use the bus or ask DH to drive. Just hope that with time, it will pass and I will get back to normal driving. At the moment it is like some mental block is in my head.

Did you read my post, I really was nearly killed, life flashed before my eyes as my car was hit by and then spun several times in front of a huge lorry that then hit me again to roll me over and through a fence into a field. I survived, you survived. Just think how great it is that neither of us was actually seriously hurt and get on with living.

I was also once hit in the back at a zebra crossing, someone stepped out right in front of me in the dark I braked hard and stopped but the car behind didn't and just ploughed into the back, huge damage to my car, these things happen, hopefully not too often. Get psychological help if you need it.

But many, if not most, of us have been in a similar situation. Being rear-ended is a very common accident, and if it's only happened this one time in 25 years, you're extraordinarily lucky. The damage to your car is irrelevant as many cars nowadays completely crumple at the smallest hit. Which prevents you from being seriously injured. I can't really imagine a situation where just being shunted could result in death, however fast the person was going. Though you may certainly get whiplash, especially if you weren't looking in the mirror and were unprepared.

If this isn't a windup, or an attempt to see how much compensation you may be entitled to, I really do think you need to seek some help as you are hugely overreacting to what should be little more than an annoyance. Both the police and NHS are involved and they'll be seeing accidents like this probably daily, so will be able to offer proper advice and assistance.

Duplicate, sorry.

He didn’t nearly kill you!

I was rear ended a couple of weeks ago on my way to work. Car behind me was driving too close and as I went to turn right, Into a side road smashed straight into the back of me. My car span round and I ended up in a field. I had no choice but to get back in my car which was thankfully still drivable and get myself home which was a good 25 miles away. I took the following day off work but the day after that I was back driving the same route. Yes I was nervous at cars being behind me but told myself that in all the years I’ve been driving this was first time someone’s gone into the back of me. I’ve gone into the back of someone else before after aquaplaning. The car in front of the car I hit had slammed their brakes on to let some people cross the road. I saw the car in front brake suddenly and I hit mine but just carried on into the back of him. No damage to either car except a slight crack on my number plate so we just made sure both of us were ok and went on our way

Plenty of people have been killed walking on footpath too are you gonna stop doing that?

Maybe go and see a counsellor.

Could he have been on the phone? I am not buying the distracted by loud taking argument.

I can imagine it was very frightening. I’ve been hit at 20-30 and that’s quite shocking. And only once from behind and that was about 10 mpr and I still suffered whiplash and it aggravated a long term back issue.
Insurance will sort everything out, you will get car sorted or paid out for and likely get personal injury compensation too.
It sounds like you could do with some therapy to overcome it. It’s not something that happens often. I’ve been driven into once and I’ve been driving 30 years.

He didn’t ’nearly kill you’ though??
You walked away. You weren’t unconscious or even seriously injured.
But EVEN IF YOU WERE (which you most definitely weren’t) you can still live on from this.
You seem keen to focus on the what ifs and poor me’s rather than being grown up and rational.

@NewPlumCat were you knocked unconscious, were you admitted to ICU?

What's with the dramatics? I've had someone plough into the back of me and write off the car. Apart from being pissed off and a bit of whiplash it's just one of those things.. you werent " nearly killed" just had a few muscles injured FFS

Please refer yourself for some counselling. This was a regular traffic collision and it sounds like you need help reframing things before it seriously impacts your life. Don’t go by the state if the car, they are designed to crumple to protect you. It did its job. You have drive thousands of miles, probably even tens of thousands of miles and this is the first crash? You’ve been lucky as well as a good driver. Please don’t let one problem put you off. Counselling will definitely help.

OP, I do have sympathy, honestly I do. After I had my car accident I was physically unable to drive for nearly a year ( I was in hospital for weeks and then in a wheelchair for several months) but even after I was physically capable of driving again the psychological effects took a long time to overcome. It was probably 2 years before I was able to drive passed the site of the accident, and for a long time I never thought that day would come.
As I, and others who have been in similar situations have said, you need to consider therapy and refresher driving lessons, and it's likely that those things would be covered by a personal injury claim. You need to talk to your insurers.
It isn't as simple as "pulling yourself together" and the mind does strange things after traumatic experiences. I am a scientist and a very logical person and I hated that I couldn't stop myself having illogical responses to and feelings about what had happened. You can't just talk yourself out of those feelings so I think some posters are being a bit harsh. Therapy can help you process unresolved trauma and move on, but you do need to accept that you are misinterpreting some of the events.
You didn't have a near death experience. You weren't admitted to hospital. By the sounds of things you don't have any significant physical injuries.
You were unlucky to be hit, but it wasn't luck, or divine intervention that prevented you from being killed, it was physics and engineering. It is almost impossible to suffer life threatening injuries in a rear end shunt where your car is not pushed into something else. You spoke to the other driver afterwards so presumably he was also largely uninjured? People frequently overestimate speeds in crashes. The fact that by the sounds of things everyone walked away from this incident without significant injuries indicates that this was not a high speed collision. Your vehicle's safety systems did what they are supposed to do. It was without doubt an unpleasant experience. It will take time for you to recover and you maby need some help, but you didn't nearly die, you didn't nearly hit your head on the windscreen, nothing bad happened to your heart. Your life is not ruined - not unless you let it be anyway. It feels like that now, but honestly those things didn't happen- as the saying goes, you cannot defy the laws of physics. You can't control your feelings at this stage, but you need to start your recovery by ackowledging that your emotions are clouding your judgement at the moment and stop insisting that things were much worse than the actual outcome demonstrates.

If there is one thing to get worked up about though its that about three times as many people die on the roads as are murdered.

The vast majority of road traffic collisions are avoidable in which case why do we allow those who cause them to escape any meaningful sanction?

If you are 'Under the influence' or on the phone why are you not banned on the spot?

Why are collisions not investigated properly?

The driver in the OP's case admitted to not being distracted? Perhaps a ban and a hefty fine might encourage them to stay focused if they are allowed to drive again?

He didn't nearly kill you. It was a shunt.

This is unbelievably insulting to anyone who has genuinely been in a nearly death car crash.

You even managed to call the police yourself despite being so nearly dead.

If this post is genuine then you need to get yourself some counselling.

Yes i think he was on the phone to have caused a really bad accident like this. The passengers in his taxi (a lady and man) who came out of the car and the lady was rubbing her head and said, she banged her head on the front passenger seat and then on the back seat when he hit the back of my car. She then said we thought he was sleeping.

@NewPlumCat I hope I’m not overstepping here but I recognise you from your multiple threads on the menopause board. I think this is just another form of the health anxiety that you’ve described on those threads presenting itself - it’s not a normal reaction to what really sounds like a fairly average rear end shunt. I’m going to echo what many people have said on your previous threads - take the HRT because even if you gain weight (and most people don’t), that’s a small price to pay for escaping from a state of anxiety that is clearly crippling your life. Antidepressants might also help - it can take time to find the right ones but keep preserving, you’ll find the right ones and right dose in time. And reengage with something like CBT. You deserve a life that’s better than living like this.

Did the airbags go off?

Ah, ok, @NewPlumCat I get the advice you are looking for:

If you would like to claim PTSD etc you will need to contact a personal injury solicitor. You will need a formal diagnosis from your GP. The personal injury lawyer will give you the full instructions of what evidence is required and can assess the merits of your case. Good luck with your claim.

After seeing @TheBossOfMe post I did a wee advanced search and it tells a story of at least a years worth of debilitating anxiety caused by menopause and the OP being too scared to use HRT.

@NewPlumCat it’s no way to live. Please go back to your GP and start HRT, antidepressants, or both.