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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be put off bloke over gravy-gate?

525 replies

KierBeTripping · 23/11/2025 18:12

Been seeing someone a while. Today we went out for a Sunday roast - the waitress brought across a jug of gravy and a dish of vegetables for the table as another waitress approached with our meals. He then reaches for the gravy jug and pours the entire lot on his dinner. I was a bit gobsmacked! I said “didn’t fancy sharing then??” And he acted all shocked before laughing and saying “sorry, I didn’t think” how on earth would you not consider that the other person might want some gravy too??

So I said I’ll have to ask for more gravy so he said “don’t do that, it’s embarrassing” so I said “I’m not eating a dry roast! I want gravy” so he gets a spoon and says he’ll put some of “his” on my plate.

This isn’t the first time he’s showed greed/selfishness over food - a few weeks ago we went to an event and he said he was going off to find the toilets - he then returns with a tray of cheesy chips saying how lovely they were! I said “if I’d known you were getting food I’d have come with you and got myself something” - who does that??

Gravy-Gate has really annoyed me though and tbh it’s put me off! It’s not “the gravy” it’s the principle and thoughtlessness of it.

AIBU

OP posts:
WhyArePiratesCalledPiratessss · 23/11/2025 18:14

He's selfish and wouldn't let you ask for more cos "its embarrassing"?
Dick
Throw that one back.
Life is too short.

PrayForMyBum · 23/11/2025 18:14

Dare I ask if he’s the same in the bedroom….? 🤷‍♀️

Onemorestepalongtheroad · 23/11/2025 18:15

Oh god that’s a real turn off. I can’t stand greed (and it really is just greed). Not wanting you to get some gravy for yourself to save his own embarrassment is just another indicator of his selfishness and putting his own comfort before yours.

You can do better!

TwistedWonder · 23/11/2025 18:16

Definite dealbreaker - selfish twat You

Donnyoh · 23/11/2025 18:16

This does not look good, OP. He is completely selfish. Get rid.

Mum3354 · 23/11/2025 18:16

It's a sign. He's selfish.

oldsizenines · 23/11/2025 18:17

I have the ick from reading this! Ugh!

Popadomorbread · 23/11/2025 18:17

I could kind of forgive using all the gravy, a lot of places do individual jugs, but to then say you can’t ask for more?? What a prick. And going to get food without you? Just not thoughtful at all and downright selfish. Get rid.

Notsurewhatisnormalanymore · 23/11/2025 18:18

Throw this one back.

Therealjudgejudy · 23/11/2025 18:18

Deal breaker. Selfish twat

WiggyWiggyImGettingJiggy · 23/11/2025 18:18

Selfish arsehole.

No wonder he would find it embarrassing if you asked for more gravy, he would have to admit he used 2 portions on his food.

He is showing that you're an afterthought, it's up to you if you're willing to put up with it.

Evaka · 23/11/2025 18:18

This is more than selfish, it's bizarre. Like he's never learned the most basic social skills.

ContinuewithGoogle · 23/11/2025 18:19

he acted all shocked before laughing and saying “sorry, I didn’t think”

that I could just about forgive, stupidly assumed there was one jug per person or something

but THAT:
*“don’t do that, it’s embarrassing”
would be the deal breaker for me. Embarrassing to politely ask in a pub?
Not the man for me, I'd be out.

PersephonePomegranate · 23/11/2025 18:20

Instant ick! The least he could do was ask the waitress for more. I can't believe he thought that would be embarrassing to ask for more but sitting there spooning gravy onto your plate from his wouldn't be😂

KierBeTripping · 23/11/2025 18:21

Popadomorbread · 23/11/2025 18:17

I could kind of forgive using all the gravy, a lot of places do individual jugs, but to then say you can’t ask for more?? What a prick. And going to get food without you? Just not thoughtful at all and downright selfish. Get rid.

The event thing is the 2nd time he’s done this. We went to an event last month and he did a similar thing then - his excuse was that he only had enough money for one - I said I didn’t want him to pay for mine - but to at least ask me if I wanted to get myself something! He doesn’t even say he’s going for food - he makes up an excuse to walk off and then comes back eating

OP posts:
CatsorDogsrule · 23/11/2025 18:21

Deal breaker

PiggieWig · 23/11/2025 18:23

Any man that came between me and my gravy would be a goner.

TidyDancer · 23/11/2025 18:23

It’s the weirdness of the whole thing that would make me chuck him back. It’s just strange!

Glube · 23/11/2025 18:23

Get rid of him. He sounds weirdly possessive. This is supposed to be the honeymoon period so he’s only going to get worse

TwoOneEyedTigers · 23/11/2025 18:24

Ugh! I'll bet he's a noisy eater as well! I can almost hear the chomping and slobbering from here!

MrsPrendergast · 23/11/2025 18:24

Omg. Fanjo clamped shut 🤢

ItIsNotTheDog · 23/11/2025 18:24

How weird that he doesn't check in with you if you want some food at events!! Imagine what he would be like if you live with him.... Seems like a guy who is used to being by himself.

oldsizenines · 23/11/2025 18:24

PiggieWig · 23/11/2025 18:23

Any man that came between me and my gravy would be a goner.

100%!

Canonlythinkofthisone · 23/11/2025 18:26

How do these people make it to adulthood 🤣🤣
Jeez. Throw him back, far far back so that no one else ends up lumbered with him. shudders.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/11/2025 18:26

This would genuinely piss me right off. How selfish. And when he said ‘I didn’t have enough money to get you anything’ I think I would call it a day there and then. Can’t buy a new girlfriend some cheesy chips? Jesus!!