To be put off bloke over gravy-gate?

[KierBeTripping]

Been seeing someone a while. Today we went out for a Sunday roast - the waitress brought across a jug of gravy and a dish of vegetables for the table as another waitress approached with our meals. He then reaches for the gravy jug and pours the entire lot on his dinner. I was a bit gobsmacked! I said “didn’t fancy sharing then??” And he acted all shocked before laughing and saying “sorry, I didn’t think” how on earth would you not consider that the other person might want some gravy too??

So I said I’ll have to ask for more gravy so he said “don’t do that, it’s embarrassing” so I said “I’m not eating a dry roast! I want gravy” so he gets a spoon and says he’ll put some of “his” on my plate.

This isn’t the first time he’s showed greed/selfishness over food - a few weeks ago we went to an event and he said he was going off to find the toilets - he then returns with a tray of cheesy chips saying how lovely they were! I said “if I’d known you were getting food I’d have come with you and got myself something” - who does that??

Gravy-Gate has really annoyed me though and tbh it’s put me off! It’s not “the gravy” it’s the principle and thoughtlessness of it.

AIBU

It wasn't me that cited £3 for a portion of chips, although that's roughly what I would be happy to pay unless it was in a fancy restaurant. I know eating out has got much more expensive recently but I still think £7 for chips is extortionate.

How old is this man??

I know someone who sounds alot like this chap, I hope he grows out of it when he hits his 30s...

He should have been considerate AND paid. You’re worth more than £7.00

(£7 for a tray of chips is taking the piss a bit though I hope they were good!)

Whats the latest update OP? Has he texted?

Sharing food is something that 5 year olds have learnt. It's not a social skill that a normal person would need to learn as an adult.

There may well be a small minority of men who have no friends, have no social interaction with acquaintances, and have always been single. Those men may be socially inept. I would suspect that the social ineptitude is the cause of their solitariness, though, and not the other way around.

What about Joey?

Joey deliberately orders more for the table and delights when a woman enjoys her food - just not what is on his plate specifically! I think that's reasonable tbh...

I didn't know that! Fair enough then.

@niadainud
Joey also went vegetarian for several months so Phoebe could eat meat during her pregnancy and no extra animals would die, as she would be eating his share.

He’s all about women having the food they want!

Definitely time for a new BF.

Mmmm… there was the pudding incident though

What a load of shite. Firstly, who are the women in relationships WITH if not (mostly, excepting lesbian/bi) MEN?
and secondly anyone who has had even the most basic upbringing knows to behave better than this!
he’s just a selfish pig.

You’re either high, mentally deficient or on a wind up. I suspect the last.

Men over 30 don’t have friends? That is news to every male over 30 I know 😂😂😂

There's lots of social media* content aimed at men spewing bollocks such as women are only dating the "top 10%" of men (whatever that means.) Some of them honestly believe that the same small group of men are dating all the women, while most men are sad and lonely. They could easily disprove this by just going out and observing humans actually interacting, and/or by using logic. But apparently these things are hard when you're so wrapped up and invested in your own warped online worldview that it's just easier to sit at home and perpetuate your loneliness.

*Which very much includes YouTube. On what planet does someone think otherwise??!

TBH this sounds very much like a man I dated, but I took a very different approach. Rather than moan about him online, I used his greedy-gut habits to my own advantage and enjoyed many pleasant outings - and innings, for that matter.

Going out for a roast, I certainly wouldn't have left the house without a spare boat of hot gravy in my handbag. And to stop him wandering off for snacks, I'd always carry thermal bags filled with necessities like cheesy chips, lamb kebabs, curry and pizza. I soon had him performing all sorts of favours and considerate acts in return for tasty rewards, and I became skilled at storing treats upon my person - such as a whole string of saveloys up my sleeve, along with tubs of tasty dipping sauce.

Fun-size choc bars, unwrapped, were liberally strewn amongst my coiffure, and in the dance clubs other women would watch enviously while we slowly waltzed, with him seemingly nuzzling my curls, while in fact grazing on the Snickers and Mars etc.

I used the same tactics in bed, and soon had him performing all sorts of gratifying foreplay in return for specified treats - a fish finger for this, a pork chipolata for that, or if he came up with his own pleasing innovations, he might score a jam doughnut, or even a nice big gobful of warm gravy.

Sadly, the Covid epidemic intervened, the outings dried up and he returned home to his mother, who continued to spoil him rotten. Last I heard he was dating Gloria Bisto, heir to the Bisto Gravy fortune.

And OP would have been fully justified in ordering both of them a pud and eating the lot in front of her date after gravy-gate 😆

Would have been a more effective way of ending it vs a text anyway, ha!

I asked that question.

Apparently the women are in polygamous relationships.

And yet the resident forum misogynistic mansplainer has posted this little nugget

I wouldn't know if all women are rejecting all men because I have never sought a relationship with a woman.

Breathtaking that he who scolds and lectures women so much and holds himself up as the font of all knowledge on behalf of men has never actually had a relationship with a woman - colour me shocked!

I bet you that sounded funny in your head..

How mean - It made me smile

I’m not in the least excusing this, and you did the right thing, because frankly life is way too short, but I have noticed this in people with certain types of childhood trauma too - when they had very little, and essentially it was a fight for what little there was with siblings. Couple that with not being used to having to consider other people, and this is sometimes the result. In many ways I think it’s really sad, but I also don’t think it’s up to potential partners to have to teach them.

Me too!

And me!

Me too.

@KierBeTripping

He said “well you should have said if it bothered you”!!?? It should be fucking obvious surely??

Er, you WERE bothered and you DID say so. He sounds a bit thick. Well done for throwing him back!

it’s not “common knowledge”. It might be that selfish incel sad gits don’t have friends, but decent, socially skilled, normal men do? You wouldn’t know about that would you.