To be put off bloke over gravy-gate?

[KierBeTripping]

Been seeing someone a while. Today we went out for a Sunday roast - the waitress brought across a jug of gravy and a dish of vegetables for the table as another waitress approached with our meals. He then reaches for the gravy jug and pours the entire lot on his dinner. I was a bit gobsmacked! I said “didn’t fancy sharing then??” And he acted all shocked before laughing and saying “sorry, I didn’t think” how on earth would you not consider that the other person might want some gravy too??

So I said I’ll have to ask for more gravy so he said “don’t do that, it’s embarrassing” so I said “I’m not eating a dry roast! I want gravy” so he gets a spoon and says he’ll put some of “his” on my plate.

This isn’t the first time he’s showed greed/selfishness over food - a few weeks ago we went to an event and he said he was going off to find the toilets - he then returns with a tray of cheesy chips saying how lovely they were! I said “if I’d known you were getting food I’d have come with you and got myself something” - who does that??

Gravy-Gate has really annoyed me though and tbh it’s put me off! It’s not “the gravy” it’s the principle and thoughtlessness of it.

AIBU

What would you think if you had just went out for a meal with a brand new female friend and she did this?
we should set our bar for men the same height we would for women.

So shit manners then. Really, get rid. He is no bargain.

Genius! I think we all know what the reaction would be…

Don't even throw him back! Just leave him on the side to wallow and spare some other poor woman the torture of a relationship with him. Now run for the hills. His self centred habits won't change. He is only capable of thinking about Number 1.

Be honest and tell him. Selfishness is REALLY unattractive.

Just to confirm I did ask the waitress for more gravy! I said it was embarrassing to be spooning gravy from one plate to another. I swear the old couple on the table next to us were glancing over in horror

Just read this to my husband, his words were:

“what a wanker, you don’t steal someone else’s gravy, she needs to get shut of him!”

that

He's obviously gone so you can forget about him
but the gravy is the real issue here! Or lack of.

Urgh this is selfish pig behaviour. I would expect this is just the tip of the iceburg.

Yep - this!

I used to work with a guy like that……..he never wanted a drink when it was his turn to pay but was always first to say what he wanted when it was my turn!

No no no - women are not rehabilitation centres put on earth to train badly behaved men.

Fuck that. If he’s reached adulthood not having basic manners, it’s not her job to educate him.

“don’t do that, it’s embarrassing”

This is the worse bit by a long way. It is so cringeingly underconfident - how in gods name is asking for more of anything in a restaurant embarrassing. It is literally their job to serve you food!

I find underconfidence in men (needless embarrassment and 'shy' to sort stuff out) absolutely repellent.

Imagine you are in a real crisis and need someone to fight for your corner (collapsed in A&E eg). Someone who is embarrassed by asking for more gravy is a waste of space.

Deal breaker for me and I don’t even like gravy!

He doesn't do much for me - and I don't even like gravy! I think it's the not sharing that royal pisses me off, like going off to get himself something to eat. If embarrassed for only having money for one, why not share? Has he never seen lady and the tramp, where they share the spaghetti? That's romance! Grins.

God no, this is him on his best behaviour - early dating stage and in public. His selfishness and boorishness is going to be so, so much worse underneath.

The gravy thing is exactly something my dad would have done. Sees gravy, wants a lot of it, pours full amount on his plate and then acts surprised as he "didn't think anyone else wanted some". However even he wouldn't have gone as far as telling the others it was "embarassing" to seek out more. He would have happily started chomping his dinner while we waited for more gravy though.

So this bloke doesn't think it's embarassing to hog the lot but it is embarassing for you to ask for more. He is 100% about himself and that will never change. I'm not at all surprised with your second example re chips just for him. Ugh ugh ugh.

The "entire plate swimming in gravy" would be enough alone to put me off, never mind that he'd greedily used all your share too.

Asking for more gravy was embarrassing? He is the embarrassment in all this. Please get rid, this will only get worse...

This has given me rage.

He sounds like an ill mannered pig who shouldn't have ventured beyond his own sty. I bet he licks the knife as well and probably the plate given half a chance. I now have a vision of Bill Sykes, chewing a bone and belting Nancy.

It would have been finished for me on the prior occasion when he said he only had enough money for one portion…his. We’d never have got to Gravy Greed.

Yuck, how unattractive!

I went on a first (and last) date with a guy once who offered to go to the bar to get drinks whilst I found a table. Not only did he order himself a meal without asking if I want one, but he also told me the exact amount I owed him, down to the penny, for my drink. Now I don't have an issue with paying for my own drink, but found it very odd, as I "I'll get this one, you get the next" is my usual experience.

Definitely not BU. That would give me the proper full on ick..So deliberately horribly thoughtless.
Bin him off.

Big NO

"So long, farewell, and thanks for all the fish none of the gravy"

Get rid. This is him supposedly at his best!