Humiliated in restaurant

[Satwife]

Out for a meal last night with family/wider family. Starters all came at different points and a couple of issues with the mains too (forgetting sides). I had a polite word with the waitress who was apologetic. DH felt this was unnecessary.

Bill was brought over by a man and he apologised for the issues and said they were very busy with new staff getting used to things before December. Apology was directed to me.

DH said ‘sorry mate, she’s due on’ and laughed. Man didn’t react and awkwardly said he’d get the card machine.

DH maintains today I was being unreasonable and he attempted to diffuse things with humour!

Its not a complaint as such. Starters coming out separately is not ok and issues with the mains can only be resolved if discussed. Isn't a quick word better then saying nothing then going home and slagging them off on TripAdvisor or facebook without giving them the opportunity to resolve the issue

OP, I audibly gasped at your opening post.

WTAF.

Why does your husband feel he has to 'pick me' to another man does he feel inadequate? Certainly seems so.. (he certainly doesn't see himself on your team OP)

So did I 🤣🤣 even my partner asked what and when I told him he said fucking hell

I am sorry this happened OP. He was completely in the wrong. Was this behaviour out out of character? Do you think in a few days you’ll be able to get through to him?

I'd murder him, painfully with the blunt butter knife from the table. Arse.

How ridiculous.
Letting staff know they haven't brought part of your order is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
Better that than see it on the bill at the end and pay for something you never got because you dont want to complain.

YABU for staying with a complete wanker, stop making excuses that you can't leave, there is always a way around these things.

Thank you everyone for your supportive replies. To the person who asked whether this has happened before. Not quite the same. I do remember a meal a couple of years ago where when asked if we had any plans after, I joked I was going clubbing. DH piped up that even the desperate blokes in our local town would turn a blind eye to me.

Agreed. Utterly repellent and misogynistic.

That was a stupid thing to say. But this says way more about him than you. I agree with PPs saying he made himself look like a dick and others would have thought the same about him. YANBU at all.

Your husband is rude and thick. Sorry but it must be true if he really said that.

OP said starters were sporadic and side dishes were missed. That isn't 'minor'.

Only Brits (well, more probably the English) think it is "embarrassing" or "drama" to complain at a restaurant where you are PAYING for the service and food and they are not up to snuff! Sigh.

That's awful - how dare he share personal information about your reproductive system. How embarrassing - I'd have given him a good kick under the table.

Yep - I had the same thought.

Ludicrous, isnt it?
What the hell is actually wrong with saying excuse me, we ordered x and it hasn't come out yet, could you check please
Or sorry, but I ordered a but this is b.

Ffs.

Sometimes I think people get upset on comments their DH has made that aren't that bad. This not one of them. The comment is both misogynistic and totally aimed to humilate you. What a prick.

The food arriving at different points so the group weren't eating together isn't minor. That's a major thing and is a given.

You really can not stay with this sad, abusive inadequate twat. He inferiority comes through. I wonder if other people dislike, and cannot be bothered with him.
Please for your self respect, get away from this loser.

I would have specifically tipped the waiter for giving the perfect response---
blanking

He has absolutely no respect for you. Maybe think about starting to plan your escape.

That is totally disgusting.

Jesus what an absolute prick.

Not only does he undermine YOU, he disparages all women.

He cares more about asserting his inclusion in the dominant 'in' group [MEN] by humiliating someone he frames as belong to the 'out' group [WOMEN] - even though that woman is his wife.

He implies that any boundary laid out by a women is due to irrationality caused by female hormones.

What an abusive prick. And yet, what a pathetic, unloveable, small man.

Does your husband really want to be buried under the patio?
What a twat.