Humiliated in restaurant

[Satwife]

Out for a meal last night with family/wider family. Starters all came at different points and a couple of issues with the mains too (forgetting sides). I had a polite word with the waitress who was apologetic. DH felt this was unnecessary.

Bill was brought over by a man and he apologised for the issues and said they were very busy with new staff getting used to things before December. Apology was directed to me.

DH said ‘sorry mate, she’s due on’ and laughed. Man didn’t react and awkwardly said he’d get the card machine.

DH maintains today I was being unreasonable and he attempted to diffuse things with humour!

OP explain to him the meaning of words 'TABOO' and 'SOCIAL ETIQUETTE' - his mother did not teach him.

As a man, can't ever imagine saying that in front of a stranger. Nor would any man I know. My wife would rightly crucify me if I said what your husband said in a restaurant.

Yes we joke about shit like that, but at home, where no-one else can hear us. As a joke, it's two-way, and not trying to humiliate the other person.

I’d knee the bastard’s bollocks

Anyway the situation did not need defusing, as you'd had chaotic service and had every right to mention it. He should have been pleased you were dealing with it. If he won't speak up himself he should at least not undermine you. He sounds unpleasant.

I'm not sure I'd have been able to hold back in the restaurant if my DH said that. I'd have ripped him apart.

Not that he ever would. He wouldn't even THINK it.

Your 'D'H is a fucking knob.

How hard would he laugh if you continued his gutter humour with "No just frustrated, I haven't had a half decent shag in years!" Laughing so hard at your own joke and slapping the table, nudging the person next to you while looking straight at him? I bet he would approve. Can't beat them, join them.

The staff must have thought he was a complete arsehole. He humiliated himself, but he's too stupid to realise.

“Due on”
Due to start her period.

That he's a misogynistic pig? Of course not.
That someone chooses 'that' for a partner, and continues to despite any number of these 'moments' and underlying belief that it's all 'just a joke' at YOUR expense, surely indicates an acceptance?

OP, trust me, he humiliated himself xxx

What a misogynistic twat. You can do so much better than him.

These comments should have stopped in the 70s. Its mad men still do this crap.
He embarrassed himself. You did nothing wrong.

"Ah yes, it’s the woman’s fault isn’t it."
I think to be fair, what the poster wrote has some truth in it, he has made disgusting comments before, and you done nothing about it. What he said was beyond the pale, it was all sorted and the restaurant manager agreed with you and apologised. Your husband interfered, belittled you abd made a disgusting comment. He embarrased the manager and himself, and not for the first time.

My self respect would not allow this, he would make me feel sick. However if you won't leave, it's going to get worse, this filthy ignorant man is not going to change. Honestly how can you allow this? He speaks of you, to others like shit.

Your husband is a twat.

Yes you have. If that’s what you want. You tell him the relationship is over; it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and now you feel nothing but contempt for him, so you need to discuss either getting the house on the market or who’ll be taking their name off the tenancy, or arranging for a room swap so you don’t have to sleep in the same bed until you both have new places to go.

Either that, or you tell him the effect that his comment had on you. Tell him you think he’s pathetic and that he’s embarrassed you yet again. Tell him he’s given you the ick and the thought of being intimate with him makes your flesh crawl, so if he wants to stay married and get you to respect him and feel attracted to him again, he’s got some serious work to do.

Not sure why you needed to get up and have a word with the waitress. 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

just leave them a review or go have a word with the manager.

but your husbands a c0ck and what he said was not funny.

He sounds unique: both weak in relation to asserting your rights as customers - he seems to think the customer is wrong, not right - and unreasonable in failing to back you up

I think DH is spoiling to be ex-DH!! This is horrendous.

Rubbish. Far better to address in the moment than leave a review after the fact.

I would kill him for that

I disagree.

Humiliating for the waitress and just not needed. Imagine if it has been her first and shes had bullies all day commenting.

don’t take it up with her, take it up with the manager who can quietly address or leave a review.

Can’t stand snotty diners when “something’s missing” 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

What the? That is totally tasteless and tactless. Not funny at all. Really shoddy and immature way to treat his other half.

Also if you've gone out to eat together, you've gone out to eat together not in dribs and drabs. That annoys the heck out of me too. If you were polite there really is no problem whatsoever raising this with staff.

What a horrible man he is.