Humiliated in restaurant

[Satwife]

Out for a meal last night with family/wider family. Starters all came at different points and a couple of issues with the mains too (forgetting sides). I had a polite word with the waitress who was apologetic. DH felt this was unnecessary.

Bill was brought over by a man and he apologised for the issues and said they were very busy with new staff getting used to things before December. Apology was directed to me.

DH said ‘sorry mate, she’s due on’ and laughed. Man didn’t react and awkwardly said he’d get the card machine.

DH maintains today I was being unreasonable and he attempted to diffuse things with humour!

Obviously you’re not being unreasonable, I’d be livid if someone said that!
the big question is who are the 2% that voted that you are being unreasonable, is it your husband and his mate?!

What an odd thing to say, but I suppose it’s 2025 and the thing to do is be snide and write a review and potentially tarnish the restaurants reputation rather than address it directly!
it doesn’t sound like the waitress was unduly bothered by OP speaking to her, and tbh it’s part of the job, to pass on comments and complaints.

Here. Plse go and give the OP some support! There can never be too many voices telling her that this man is a cunt who isn't good enough to lick her boots.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5445449-first-date-slapped-me-on-bottom?page=12&reply=148614824

This isn't the solution at all

Men talk like this about women when they are alone in order to demonstrate and bolster their group contempt for women as a sex. It's a way of ensuring that they all buy into, and protect, the system of inequality.

The solution is for him not to think that way about women at all.

Not simply to hide it successfully.

Well, this sounds like there may be a
much bigger problem, like he’s punishing for something. Is he coercive at all. I really do hope not. I think it can be so tiring defending yourself from someone you once loved as you feel the disappointment in the pit of your stomach. My ex used to contradict me infront of friends, get cross in public, never praise me and always pointed out my mistakes and not all the other things o was constantly doing around the house. It chipped away until I could take no more. This is not a lobe language you getting here at all x

@HevenlyMeS

DSS is stepson (dear stepson)

My jaw dropped. Your DH is a pig. I hope you don’t have daughters.

I’d live in a hole in the road rather than live with him. I’d be making enquiries starting from today as to how I could leave this vulgar pig far behind me.

Well, no…unless he has just recently started to behave like this. If this is who he is, and you know that, I’d have run a mile long ago!

Really lol?
Due on her period

He's a prick who made himself look stupid.

Well, if you have spoken to your h about the revolting way he speaks but he won’t change, what are you going to do?

If you think you’re stuck because you live together, what are you going to do?

Your h sounds repulsive. But not all men have such awful views.

But only you can change things.

His comment about you going clubbing was vile. Do you want to stay with him?

I would not be happy with this comment.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that.

Really, that's a very very common turn of phrase, I'm surprised youve not heard it

What do you say then? Because I agree its a very common phrase, although to be honest only really acceptable to be said by women not to women.

Yes Me Too & Might possibly be that they're from somewhere where this term isn't used perhaps 💚

How can it be common?

Why would anyone be talking to me about periods?

So you never talk to anyone about your periods? Your spouse/partner/friends/sister?

For example, my daughter rang me on Friday and said "Can we cancel tomorrow? Came on early and now I just want to stay in bed all weekend".

We are women, we talk to each other about such things.

SOrry but I am not buying that you don't talk to anyone about this stuff, we all do!

@PyongyangKipperbang I'm a man. I don't have a partner or sister. The women that I know would not be close enough to me to talk about periods.

I find it a bit strange that OP's male partner seems to have a firm grasp of in-group language that would typically be used among women only.

I think every man I know (and have known) knows what a woman being 'due on' means. I am gobsmacked that you have never heard this turn of phrase, like ever....

Well it isnt used just amongst women its just that being "due on" is used by women to describe where we are in a cycle.

Saying "oh she is due on" or "oh are you due on" is a very sexist old fashioned way of suggesting that a woman who is pissed off about something is because she is hormonal and not because he is a twat.

And no, before you ask, I am not due on.

IYKYK

@PyongyangKipperbang Saying "oh she is due on" or "oh are you due on" is a very sexist old fashioned way of suggesting that a woman who is pissed off about something is because she is hormonal and not because he is a twat.

I have a limited number of male friends, but I would tend to avoid men who are assholes, hence why I don't hear comments like that from men to women.

If men are saying that to you, you should exclude them from your social circle and end all contact.

Oh do you think so?

THank you for telling me!

😁 😁 😁