Sleepovers at Grandparents

[PrincessLeila8]

Hello all,
My wife wants to get our four year old daughter to do sleepovers at her grandparents. I'm ok with the principle of it, more because it give my wife a chance to sleep throughout the night, but I feel there should be some 'rules' surrounding any sleepover.... even if only at grandparents. Raising the topic is sensitive for her as I think it implies I dont trust her family (which I do), but I feel there should still be some mutual framework around it. AIBU or should I just shut up and go along with the flow.

My ideas on rules we would need for sleepover nights:

• An understanding that strictly no visitors on those nights. It’s only immediate family whom we know there.
• Grandparents need to be fully contactable / phones / at all times.
• Not sleeping in uncles, granddads bed etc.
• If grandparents are around - strictly no smoking/fumes in house
• No uncontrolled internet

Am I the only one trying to put down rules for something like this (my wife's view)? or does everyone just go with the flow?

Also, are there any angles or rules you think I may have missed?

Thanks

hey, in honestly I feel very similar to you. I have a 4 year old too and the uncle (33) lives with MIL so is always there & he’s had a couple of sleepovers. I hate it when my son goes playing in uncles room as I hate it when uncle goes upstairs when he comes here, my partner thinks I’m unreasonable for this.
My MIL will also invite friends over when my son stays over.
I agree with the other posts that it can come across like you don’t trust them which is going to ruin the relationships in the long run,

personally I would just not let your daughter have a sleep over yet as you don’t seem 100% safe with it and maybe you get up with your daughter so your wife can sleep?
This stage won’t late forever!