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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend sent me a video

161 replies

sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:02

I've started to date a new guy (he's not my boyfriend) and he sent me a video which was supposed to be taken at 6am in the morning (he sent it late afternoon).

It was taken when he was in bed (no not sexual) and what caught my eye is that it was light outaide. The light was shining on the TV screen in his room. He has those office type blinds vertical style.

The video was black and white in style, so it wasn't bright in the room, I just find it bizarre the winwod were so bright.

He stated his son woke him up at 6am and he took a video of him singing. I just found it weird the windows looked so bright.

Is it really bright at 6am? I thought it wasn't bright until 7ish.

(He is staying he's tired from being up early etc and can't meet, which is fine but it looks so bright outside that I instantly thought the video wasnt taken at night. I've just got a feeling it's not quite right)

Anyone up at 6am and van confirm on the room brightness

OP posts:
minishiteboard · 31/10/2025 00:03

What's wrong with being in bed

HedwigEliza · 31/10/2025 00:06

And this is a problem…. why?

I’d advise him to run. You sound incredibly hard work and a massive over-thinker. He’s best steering clear.

Original poster
sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:07

HedwigEliza · 31/10/2025 00:06

And this is a problem…. why?

I’d advise him to run. You sound incredibly hard work and a massive over-thinker. He’s best steering clear.

Can you read?

OP posts:
Peaceshout · 31/10/2025 00:07

Do you scrutinise everything to this extent?

If so, I think you can join the police as a civilian investigator these days.

Although I’m a little unclear what this actually shows? That his blinds aren’t very good? That his video was taken slightly later than he suggested? Why would he want to fake that?

minishiteboard · 31/10/2025 00:08

What's the issue?

minishiteboard · 31/10/2025 00:08

He sends wank videos ?

HedwigEliza · 31/10/2025 00:08

sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:07

Can you read?

Show quote history

Run like like wind, my guy! 😄

Crinkle77 · 31/10/2025 00:09

Is it that you think he lied about what time the video was taken? He tried to say it was 6am when it's still dark but it clearly wasn't cos it was light outside? Do you think he was using it as an excuse not to meet as he'd supposedly been up so early?

RedLeicesterRedLeicester · 31/10/2025 00:11

I get you!
mid be suss too

snoooze · 31/10/2025 00:11

is it maybe a street lamp shining brightly into his room

Arlanymor · 31/10/2025 00:12

Why do you care about room brightness? He sent you a video of him singing. You're analysing shafts of light on wallpaper...

Checkcheckout · 31/10/2025 00:13

I can confirm having let my dog out for a piss at 6.30am that it’s still pretty dark. Not bright anyway! Is it the lying that’s the issue OP? That would piss me off too, I can’t stand liars.

autumngirl714 · 31/10/2025 00:13

So just to clarify, OP is suspicious because the video was supposedly taken at 6am when it so DARK outside but the video showed daylight outside. Hence her thinking that the guy is lying about when he took the video.
Pretty obvious tbh.

i can understand why it would raise an eyebrow OP! Just because it seems like he’s lied for some reason. I can confirm that it’s not daylight at 6am. It’s dark outside. Could the reflection have been from anything else at all? Are you worried he’s lying about why he can’t see you?

Original poster
sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:14

Crinkle77 · 31/10/2025 00:09

Is it that you think he lied about what time the video was taken? He tried to say it was 6am when it's still dark but it clearly wasn't cos it was light outside? Do you think he was using it as an excuse not to meet as he'd supposedly been up so early?

Edited

Yes.

Do you know when you just receive something and think that's not quite right. The TV also has a strip of daylight on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:14

autumngirl714 · 31/10/2025 00:13

So just to clarify, OP is suspicious because the video was supposedly taken at 6am when it so DARK outside but the video showed daylight outside. Hence her thinking that the guy is lying about when he took the video.
Pretty obvious tbh.

i can understand why it would raise an eyebrow OP! Just because it seems like he’s lied for some reason. I can confirm that it’s not daylight at 6am. It’s dark outside. Could the reflection have been from anything else at all? Are you worried he’s lying about why he can’t see you?

Thank you.

OP posts:
MissyPants · 31/10/2025 00:17

It's dark at 6am

Doesitgoto11 · 31/10/2025 00:18

I’m up at 6 to leave for work at 7 and now the clocks have gone forward again it’s dusky light that’d likely show as daylight on camera. I think you’re way overthinking stuff tbh.

Poppyseeds79 · 31/10/2025 00:19

sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:02

I've started to date a new guy (he's not my boyfriend) and he sent me a video which was supposed to be taken at 6am in the morning (he sent it late afternoon).

It was taken when he was in bed (no not sexual) and what caught my eye is that it was light outaide. The light was shining on the TV screen in his room. He has those office type blinds vertical style.

The video was black and white in style, so it wasn't bright in the room, I just find it bizarre the winwod were so bright.

He stated his son woke him up at 6am and he took a video of him singing. I just found it weird the windows looked so bright.

Is it really bright at 6am? I thought it wasn't bright until 7ish.

(He is staying he's tired from being up early etc and can't meet, which is fine but it looks so bright outside that I instantly thought the video wasnt taken at night. I've just got a feeling it's not quite right)

Anyone up at 6am and van confirm on the room brightness

So presumably he just couldn't be arsed to meet up earlier tonight, and rather than saying "I can't be arsed". He tried to deflect it into something "cute"... "I'd have met up tonight but I'm too tired as child had me up at 6am (cute vid)".

Would you have preferred him to say he couldn't be bothered?

DontStopMeNowGoodTime · 31/10/2025 00:21

@sillyme1234 Are you AI sillyme1234

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/10/2025 00:24

Did he say the video was taken at 6am. he could have woken him at 6 but the video taken later maybe ?

Original poster
sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:26

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/10/2025 00:24

Did he say the video was taken at 6am. he could have woken him at 6 but the video taken later maybe ?

Nope it was "this is my son at 6am, weve been up since 5am". C

OP posts:
Original poster
sillyme1234 · 31/10/2025 00:27

Poppyseeds79 · 31/10/2025 00:19

So presumably he just couldn't be arsed to meet up earlier tonight, and rather than saying "I can't be arsed". He tried to deflect it into something "cute"... "I'd have met up tonight but I'm too tired as child had me up at 6am (cute vid)".

Would you have preferred him to say he couldn't be bothered?

Show quote history

We hadn't planned to meet that night.... That's what I don't get.

I just have a feeling he's in a relationship, due to other things, not just this video.

OP posts:
CKN · 31/10/2025 00:41

Bit confused. Your title thread says Boyfriend sent me a video and your very first line you point out that he’s not your boyfriend 🙄.

Think you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Teanbiscuits33 · 31/10/2025 00:44

I can understand why you think he might be lying if the time didn’t seem to add up to you, but if you can’t trust him to the extent you think he’s lying about silly things then he’s clearly not someone you want to be in a relationship with, because if he’s lying about things like this then what else could he lie about.

Equally though, you sound a bit mad posting on mumsnet about room brightness! I think this is a non starter either way. Either he’s a weird liar lying about the most basic and trivial things, in which case call it off, or:

you have difficulty trusting people to the level that you scrutinise every tiny detail looking for lies and therefore are not ready for a committed relationship, in which case call it off.

andriod · 31/10/2025 00:46

What a load of rubbish you are over thinking this one op.
Its a video in black and white but it looks light near the blinds.
Really you need a thread for this.
You call him boyfriend in your title but said hes not your boyfriend in your post.
Just started dating so you getting to know him.
You have a feeling he is in a relationship but tbh he can be as you and him have not made it clear about yourselfs yet plus, you already said hes not your boyfriend. Its all to mixed up story dont make sense either. Sounds like your picking for drama when there isnt any,

Tbvh i hope he walks away from you.