Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

She stank and you moved. She was no doubt aware of it and feeling self conscious 🤷‍♀️ Don’t give it another thought.

it doesn't work because the only question anybody would have asked was
'Why did she accuse you of body shaming? That came out of nowhere?"
'Huh? That doesn't make any sense!'
'What did she think you were body shaming OP?
'Was there anything particularly significant about how she looked?"

'I don't get the body shaming bit'
'I think you've missed some key info out somewhere OP!'
'When is OP going to come back and clarify the body shaming bit.'
etc etc
and completely derailed the thread.

Same if instead of body shaming the woman had accused OP of being racist - if she and OP were of the same race that's a really weird, random and likely to be unfounded allegation, so to provide context it would be relevant for OP to mention her race, whereas in another situation race would be completely irrelevant and therefore no need to specify. Or age, religion, etc.

I know that smell.
its a mouldy kind of smell. When clothes are damp and didn’t dry properly - but on a person. I would have moved too.

Other posters (theoretically) asking questions about overweight/not overweight does not justify paragraphs and posts upon posts containing vivid, unpleasant descriptions of fatness and supposed consequences of fatness. If posters had asked whether the woman was indeed overweight to establish whether the woman was justified or not, then a simple ‘yes or no’ would have been more than adequate to understand OP’s dilemma.

But no, we get a multitude of unpleasant, humiliating and dehumanising descriptions on huffing and puffing and dribbling and sweating and gulping and flesh spilling onto tables. (Which, apparently, wasn’t an issue).

The OP said quite plainly that she would have been concerned had a thin person had breathing difficulties but not that this overweight woman did, because her weight would have been the factor, and apparently that factor devoids her of being humanised. And then equates being overweight and the physical repercussions of that with being drugged up or drunk on a train.

This whole thread has been moral postulating on weight and nothing more. And as many posters have said on this thread, it became clearer that the OP either had an agenda in fat phobia or was trolling the forum because she was bored.

And no, no nerve to get defensive has been hit – I’m not overweight and none of my friends or family are either. The OP is simply a below par human being.

Well I'm just going to say what others are thinking.....I do have an issue with fat people! They take up too much space! Too much space in every public space.

Frankly it's offensive that you're so egotistical to think other members of the public have to make allowances for you.
Many fat people perspire too much and smell of sweat or conversely their clothes have an odour.

FGS do all of us and the NHS a favour and lose the weight! Have some pride in yourselves!

Bit harsh but after sitting next to a very fat woman on a plane for hours and hours I'm inclined to agree that some are annoying. She fell asleep almost instantly and was pushing into me as she was no longer making an effort to hold her arms/elbows in. Had little sympathy after arriving tired for my first day of holiday when I should've had a nice kip.

No don't say that, thats so nasty you should of just said you where going to the loo or to stretch your legs.

Just a shame she didn't call OP a fatist. Because she could've replied with the classic repartee "no you're definitely the fattest, love". 🤣