Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

How DARE you start a thread about this, OP. It was ME!!!!!!! and I saw your smug face as you walked away. Never mind your silly spritz of "perfume."

😡🤬👿

Just kidding!!!

Not your fault that you found yourself sitting opposite Yoda on day release. Hopefully she is now back in her padded cell for the night.

None of her business where you sit. Fuck her.

The reason you moved or if you smiled at her are not what make you a fat shaming bitch. Your descriptions of a fat person are what highlight that fact about you. Also you disregarded her health issues as 'just weight related'

And you know what, it's even fine to sit at a table

Perhaps she’s on mounjaro and had already lost 25% of her body weight

that might explain the smell too if she had some of 🤢 side effects!

But you (apparently) didn’t move because of her behaviour, so why do you keep grotesquely bringing it up?

If you didn't want to mention the odour, just say a friend has text me from another carriage so I'm going to see them.

I remember being stuck on a bus years ago, in the window seat next to a guy who smelled like a dead animal. It was a bus where the windows didn't open and it was rank.

Red Peach has an utter obsession with tables. Just ignore the table police

It only needed a large man for the responses you’ve received to have been entirely different.

This is one of those threads where people would need to declare their own interests before their judgements can be given any real credit. I suspect that people who are unhappy with their own weight saw more to be offended about from your post than those who are not.

You'd have been justified in saying "It's not the body, it's the smell". Fat or thin, people should probably know.

What description was derogatory exactly? Everything I stated was factual. I didn’t say she came huffing like a disgusting X, or she was sweating like a pig, or her spilling onto the table was gross or anything of the sort. I stated factually what happened.

Yes, she obviously has health issues, but being that large is going to cause breathlessness and sweating. Of course she could have health issues that led to weight gain, but as @MyrtlethePurpleTurtlementioned above, weight gain can also cause health issues. It’s chicken and egg really.

Again, are obese people in a category no one is allowed to comment on at all, ever? Because I don’t get the memo

She knew she was being offensive but just didn't care.

There was a woman on the bus yesterday who smelt so bad the smell lingered long after she got off.

The woman sounds unhinged and I don't think you did anything to warrant her outburst... That said, when you opt for a table seat as a solo traveller you run the risk of any kind undesirable joining you thereafter!

Maybe because that’s the thing she ‘grotesquely’ keeps being criticised for?

Is that a side effect of MJ???

Honestly if she is on MJ then good for her. People still shouldn’t be subjected to the smell of BO and poo in what is essentially a sealed metal box though. And then be so rude when people move away.

You knew exactly what you were doing with this thread OP, and exactly what kind of replies it would get. You don't fool me. You are baiting people.

What - wait 45 minutes while sitting opposite gag inducing stench?

You would have asked a 'normal sized' person if they were ok, but not the fat lady

I can understand her being sensitive. She probs can't help the smell as it's caused by sweating. However, as soon as she got narcy I'd have told her to fuck off.

Why shouldn’t she be criticised for it?

Whyever not? There's more leg room and charging points. Usually solo travellers will come and sit next to you.

A simple "mind your own business" would have worked here.

Yes, because a woman of her size, rushing down a train is obviously going to be breathless so why would I draw attention further to her discomfort. She was about 25 stone at a guess. If she deteriorated any further I would of course asked if she needed assistance.

If an 8 stone woman presented in the same way, that would be far more unusual and unexplainable, leading to a greater sense of urgency. Maybe that’s the wrong approach or assumptions, I don’t know.

King’s Cross to Cambridge off the top of my head but I’m sure there are others!

A surprising number of people can't smell themselves. Some have medical reasons, eg Covid, some just get nose blind. Age can be relevant too (there's a term. but I forget it). Also, some people are more sensitive to smell (a pregnant coworker has real issues with smelly greasy hair, I hate the smell of garlic when I'm pregnant, but love it otherwise). You might not be pregnant, but you couldbe more sensitive to scent. Or maybe she just did smell that bad. Either way, there was no need for her to be rude. Try not to worry if you weren't rude first, not your fault.

You didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't have stayed in the same situation either. Do not give it another thought.