Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

She sounds very unreasonable and somewhat unhappy. And I would also have moved due to the antisocial behaviour / smell. But I agree with others that all the unnecessary detail about this woman's physique gives your post a judgey, fattist tone.

Even if heavy breathing, sweating, or spilling water is noticeable, it’s not the same as a drunk being disruptive. Those things are largely unavoidable bodily functions, not deliberate actions meant to harm or disturb others. Calling them shameful because the person is overweight targets their body rather than the situation, which makes it ridicule, not reasonable criticism. You wouldn’t describe a thin person the same way for the same behaviour, so labelling it as obese behaviour exposes your bias.

I’d love to think that if someone was that rude to me, I’d have loudly said “if you must know, I’m moving because you absolutely stink” however it’s unlikely I’d do it IRL.

I was flying from Oman last year. Economy seat in the 2x3x2 formation. I was by the window of a 2. A man got on beside me and the smell of BO was unreal. Every time he moved, the waft hit me in the face. I complained to the stewardesses, well not complained as such but to see if I could move. Said I’d pay whatever to move wherever. But the flight was completely full even in business (no first on that flight). The staff were completely sympathetic because they too could smell it every time they walked past, and all they could do was give me two masks to double up (felt like covid years again masked up), plus a bottle of that spritzer stuff they spray in the cabin. I sprayed it regularly, liberally and that plus the mask helped marginally but that was the longest and most horrific flight I’ve ever taken. They did bring me a couple of glasses of champagne which was nice of them.

A propos of nothing, those iarnód éireann trains look a lot nicer than they did Back In The Day.

I have every sympathy OP. I really can't cope with these smells either.

You’re bu for squirting perfume around.

You can sit wherever you want, I hate it when I’m sat next to someone on the bus and their bum is taking up half of my seat.
Another time I went and sat upstairs on a bus, because where I was sat previously, there were two ladies sat behind me speaking really, really loudly and it was doing my head in.

She's a vivid story teller. Painted a picture so clearly that I could see it as I read. I appreciate that! You don't, evidently - so read different threads, fgs.

The passenger's body size is obviously germane to the story, or there'd be no explanation for the woman accusing OP of 'fat shaming'.

I've also enjoyed your ripostes to all the trolls, OP.

To me it sounds like you probably made a huge fuss, spraying perfume, tutting making faces etc.

You are being s bit of a twat really. Sadly all too common for AIBU.

Do you live alone op? Otherwise I’m wondering what on earth they were thinking last night…. You’re out from 5am, arrive home and then on phone tapping away all night 😆

I missed whether the op was window or aisle seat?

Did the woman take the aisle seat next to the op, so the op had to ask her to move so the op could get out from the window seat?

Except the the only vividness she appears able to draw is unpleasant visuals towards someone’s body, so that doesn’t fly.

Oh well, I’m sure you can cope.

No, the smelly woman sat across the table from OP.

I’m sure there’s lots! Basingstoke to Waterloo comes to mind

Odd that no one else aside from the op moved or even seemed to make eye contact with the op to indicate they were also suffering!

No-one else was at their table

OP already said she was flustered by the woman's shouting and wanted to get out of there. She wasn't gazing at her fellow passengers in hopes of making a connection.

And I don't know if you've ever been in a crowded train with somebody emotionally ranting at full volume, but the usual response is to look down and pretend to be busy, not exchange meaningful glances with the victim.

Maybe try reading the OP's posts instead of asking daft questions more suited to a low-budget romcom than real life?

It wasn’t a crowded train

where did you get that from 😆

No I don’t live alone, but I was alone last night. And honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I was up at 4.30, travelling by 5am all day where I was doing most of my ‘tapping away’ on a one train journey, came home, showered, ate, did some more ‘tapping away’ while watching Bake Off and was in bed by 9.30pm. I don’t see much wrong with that day tbh. Not sure what point you’re trying to make?

You were unreasonable that you didn’t tell her she smelt bad before you walked off. Cheeky smelly cow.

And yet you re the one name calling

And that would have been much kinder would it? Me looking around trying to get eye contact from strangers so that we could all collectively judge her between us in silence?

Not sure about you, but I personally keep myself to myself on public transport and make as little eye contact as possible with anyone, so it’s not in the least bit odd.

And I have no idea if anyone else left, I left after 15mins or so and went to the very last carriage so I didn’t see if anyone made the same move.

I think people are being deliberately rude to you OP and picking every detail to shreds. Just ignore it. Most normal people understand why you moved and I would have done too. Being that obese and sweaty that it affects others is unsociable, however much they want to defend it to you. Enjoy your ‘tapping’ 🤣🤣🤣 honestly some people on here are laughable aren’t they?? 🤣

This is you “feeling absolutely awful”?!