Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

Of course they could move but without the ostentatious perfume spraying etc..meant to demean and certainly not helpful to someone who needs inhalers. Its the ableist audacity that's objectionable. The way the OP drafted her post makes it clear how judgemental she is...as SO many other posters have said

Well considering 90% of your post is about her body and not the smell, which is the actual point

Maybe because the OP has been repeatedly criticised for mentioning the woman's size but not for mentioning her smell? You don't tend to feel the need to justify things you haven't been attacked for.

What does ODFOD mean please?

Should say
Some people on MN love a good fat baiting thread.

Oh do fuck off dear...(not you!)

Best thing to have said would be oh its not personal. I hate everyone.

That's as maybe, but OP wasn't in the UK...

Nonetheless this is a very good illustration of why the British way is the best!

I’ve noticed whenever there are any ‘fat’ discussions on MN that people get very defensive and there will always be the odd one or two that take offence and defend the person the post is about. I would definitely have moved seats, and maybe felt bad doing it, but……the woman clearly has a severe obesity problem and must realise she was being anti social in her behaviour and hopefully may have made today the day she does something about her health

Sounds like there was more to this story than you are letting on!!

Many, many lines have stops of this length. I’m currently sat on a LNER service and it’s 50 mins between Stevenage and Grantham. Do you only travel within the M25, as hardly shocking news.

Not in Ireland, but the opposite happened with my little one, a business guy moved seats to let us sit together. So thoughtful and kind

I have had people sit next to me in half-empty train carriages with plenty of seats before. Maybe I look friendly, I clearly need to practice my resting scowl. I smile politely and say "can I possibly get out?" in a friendly voice, as if going to the loo, and then "thank you". I then move to an empty seat. I've only once been challenged by an older man who had sat next to me. I replied "I'm an introvert with small children who constantly talk at me. It's not personal but when I get the chance, I like to be alone and sit in complete silence."

When I travel with the kids, I don't need to worry because people give us a wiiiide berth. I don't know whether my kids give off hooligan vibes but unless the train is packed, we find ourselves with plenty of space 😂.

I think it sounds like she has incredibly low self esteem - not in any way condoning her behaviour!!!
Could you have waited until the next stop and subtly moved then

Yes - her entire behaviour, even before you saw her, would indicate she was a PITA. As if she was trying to attract attention and to provoke a reaction.

Try to put it out of your mind.

On a train that's not full? And where you need a table? Are 'single' travellers prohibited from seats at a table?

Yeah...she may have been rude to ask where you were going and call you a b. BUT you really sound like you have a problem with fat people and I wouldn't be surprised if you were making this obvious to her while sat there.

In this story one simple 'she was overweight' to explain why she called you fat shaming would have sufficed.

Sounds more like weariness than anger

In which case she might appreciate her behaviour was unacceptable

if OP hadn't mentioned the woman's weight then the part of the story where she accused OP of having an issue with fat people and being a body shaming bitch would have come completely out of context. All the responses would have been asking 'well was she fat?' Then OP would have been accused of drip feeding and leaving relevant information out!

Some people are just desperate to be offended...

I can't imagine "It's not your size, it's how you smell" would have helped the situation, but you'd have been safe in the knowledge that if you'd run away, she wasn't going to catch you 😅

I bloody love sitting at a train table as a single traveller with no laptop or work to do. I do it A LOT. Spread my shit out all over that table too. Bag, books, drinks, Ploughman's lunch, feet up, whatever.

It's best not to argue back on a train OP. Nowhere to run if they turn out to be insane. Unless you want a Bond style exit onto the roof.

That totally misses the point of the post which was that OP was accused of being a fat shaming bitch or whatever the expression was

It would not have been the same story because the slander about being "body shaming" would not have made sense.

Honestly, some people have such a massive chip on their shoulder.

Nope - doesn't work and wasn't the scenario